Worried - What is my risk of becoming infected?

[Jjhopkins016]

Hello, I am a 33 year old male with no proir health conditions. Had protected intercourse with a herpes positive woman, as well as digital stimulation for play. I’m worried about the area at the base of the penis that is not covered by a condom. She did not have an active outbreak at the time but it’s possible she thinks she might have one soon. She is still in the first 6 months since her diagnosis. I’m also worried about the fact that I touched my penis with the same hand I used during foreplay after I took the condom off. This was a one time thing for about 10 minutes. Any information would be helpful, as I am oddly anxious about this today. Thank you.

[auntiejessi]

I understand your concern for this, but you are worrying too much.

First, the chances of you getting hsv2 from her from a one time protected encounter are about 1 in 10,000. (Does she know if she has genital hsv2 or genital hsv1? If it's ghsv1, it's probably lower.)

Your hand never transmits an STD. It just doesn't happen. There's too much movement, exposure to air, etc.

If you were in a relationship with her, assuming she has ghsv2, these are transmission stats:

Ghsv2 transmission, female to male, over the course of a year, assuming sex 2-3 times a week (I use "female" and "male" for brevity, but I mean nothing more than the parts you have. Your gender identity is yours.):

Only avoiding sex during an outbreak - 4-5%

Adding condoms OR daily suppression - 2-3%

Adding condoms AND daily suppression - 1-2%

We don't have transmission stats for ghsv1, but it's assumed to be much lower, as it typically recurs and sheds less frequently than ghsv2.

If she didn't have any symptoms, I wouldn't worry at all. Your chances of getting it are very low.

[Jjhopkins016]

Thank you very much for your deeper understanding and knowledge about the subject, and for taking the time to respond.  It’s helping me to calm my nerves.

[auntiejessi]

You're welcome. You really don't need to worry. You're chances of getting anything are very, very low.

[Jjhopkins016]

Thank you. Is it possible I could have gotten it but wouldn’t know? Heard that you could feel weak and flu like symptoms on the initial infection. Have been feeling off this week, not Covid I’m pretty sure.

[auntiejessi]

Yes, it's possible to get it and not know, but flu-like symptoms are aches, fever, headache, fatigue, etc. It's not just feeling off.

Feeling off can be from anxiety.

You had protected sex. While it's possible to get herpes from protected sex, the chances are very, very low. You are spending too much time on this. Is anxiety a normal issue for you? Spend time working on that instead. Find a counselor, talk to your doctor. You deserve to find coping skills and peace.

[Jjhopkins016]

Thank you, you are right - I have to address this anxiety, first and foremost. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Working on strategies to reassure myself everything’s ok. Thanks again.

[auntiejessi]

You're welcome. I hope those strategies include counseling. It can really help.

Be well. :)