How do I go about to tell my girlfriend I may have herpes

[Bill1_]

For various months now, I have a sort of itch and tingling sensation and red colored from time to time. Wasn’t sure what it was but continued normally. A few months after my concern grew and thought about going to the doctor bu didn’t. At last I went to the doctor today and she told me it could be herpes and I’m going to the labs tomorrow. I remember that my ex-wife at one certain time told me she had herpes, and truly I forgot to tell my current girlfriend. My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and now I’m thinking about telling her what is happening and I’m afraid of her reaction, how this will affect us and our sex life. She will also question me why I did not do something earlier and why I did not tell her. I feel so anxious and nervous and thinking about how angry my girlfriend will be. Any suggestions?

[auntiejessi]

What kind of labs are you getting done?

You should tell your current gf exactly what you said here - that your ex wife said at one time told you that she had herpes, that you totally forgot about it because you never got any symptoms (I'm assuming that's what happened).

Now, you've had some symptoms of itching, tingling and red spots, and your doctor thinks it might be herpes, so you are getting tested for it.

This is all quite plausible, by the way. If you do have herpes, it's absolutely possible that you wouldn't have known until now.

That said, this doesn't sound a lot like herpes. It could be - I don't know what the red dots look like, but it could be eczema, dermatitis, an allergic reaction, etc.

Make sure the blood work you get is a type specific IgG blood test.

[Bill1_]

The lab referral says: Microalbumin Urine, VIT 25-OH, HSV Type 1/2 IGG, IGM, HIV, Chlamydia/Gonorrea Urine, VDRL.

[auntiejessi]

Okay, so the herpes IgM is a terrible test, and should even be done on you, or anyone. It looks for "new antibodies", and isn't indicated for you. It's also not reliable at all. If it worked as it should, it would find herpes antibodies that drop off after a few weeks of infection. That doesn't apply to you.

The other issue is that it's wrong most of the time. Whatever it says, ignore it. The CDC and every expert in the field says it shouldn't be used anymore.

HSV Type 1/2 IGG - this test will tell you if you have hsv1 OR hsv2 OR both. It won't tell you if you have hsv1 but not hsv2, or hsv2 but not hsv1. You need a type specific IgG blood test. I'm really sorry your doctor ordered these tests, because 67% of people under 50 globally have hsv1, and it's higher if you are over 50.

It will help if you are negative for both, but that's it.

The Microalbumin Urine is looking for protein in your urine.

The VIT 25-OH is a Vitamin D test.

The VDRL is a syphilis test.

I don't know why she is ordering the protein and vitamin D tests - maybe you've discussed other issues. That's fine, or maybe it's based on your age.

You may end up needing more hsv testing, because the ones she ordered often lead to more questions.