The HSV1 IgG test - assuming that's what you were tested with (and you should check) - misses about 30% of hsv1 infections. It's quite possible that you have it and the test missed it.
If you really want to prove this somehow, and I have no idea why this matters, you can take a Western Blot test to see if you have it for sure.
Ghsv1 - genital hsv1 - sheds infrequently, and recurs infrequently, and that means it almost never transmits. Even if she had it before you and didn't know it - also possible - and you don't have it, it's highly unlikely that you'd get it from her.
If you have it already, and the IgG test is missing your infection, you already have antibodies, which means that you can't get it again genitally.
Make sure your tests have been IgG tests, and not IgM tests. IgM tests are designed to look for "new" infections, but a lot of doctors don't understand this, and they are also terribly unreliable.
Right now, my best piece of advice would be that it doesn't terribly matter much. No one meant to give it to anyone if anyone did, it doesn't really change anything, and no one ever wins the blame game.