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My 61 year old boyfriend recently had a herpes outbreak
My 61 year old boyfriend recently had a horrible outbreak of herpes HSV 2.
I was given genital herpes by my husband 14 years ago.
I seldom have outbreaks due to taking medication consistently.
We have dated for 9 mo.
I believe that he has been monogamous with me.
However, he has bragged that he has probably had sex with over 400 women...
I feel horrible.
I told him when we met and he said "I don't care if I get it".
Now, he says that "he needs to be alone" that he is upset (he is in medicine and humiliated).
He has not spoken to me for a week now.
I feel horrible and guilty.
What can I do?
I was given genital herpes by my husband 14 years ago.
I seldom have outbreaks due to taking medication consistently.
We have dated for 9 mo.
I believe that he has been monogamous with me.
However, he has bragged that he has probably had sex with over 400 women...
I feel horrible.
I told him when we met and he said "I don't care if I get it".
Now, he says that "he needs to be alone" that he is upset (he is in medicine and humiliated).
He has not spoken to me for a week now.
I feel horrible and guilty.
What can I do?
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
I think it's really easy for some folks to say that they don't care and they'll take the risk but then when they do contract it, suddenly they realize that they aren't invincible :( So what do you do now? Well he's asking to be left alone but make the effort to talk to him. Ask him what is going on inside his head and how can you help. If he still insists he wants to be alone, well not much you can at that point other than to let him know you are there to talk to if he wants to. Honestly it's incredibly immature to just not talk to you for a week.
How do you deal with your own guilt about this? Well you did do the right thing of letting him know about your status. He made the choice. Even though the risk of transmission is really low, it does happen sometimes. If he was never tested prior to this, no easy to know at this point if this was just his first obvious recurrence or a newly acquired infection unless he had igg blood testing done at the time of his lesion culture. You really can not control everything in life so you just do the best you can with the knowledge you have. Give yourself time to deal with this too. His behavior certainly isn't helping you process your side of this either. Don't allow his behavior to make you feel something you shouldn't. it is hard to deal with knowing you've passed it on. it will get better in time. If you've offered to support him emotionally through this and he's not interested, take care of yourself and do what you need to do to work through this on your side of things.
grace