How can this Herpes diagnosis actually be right and could even happen?

[Concerned4us]

This is my first time ever posting anything about a health related issue on the internet.   However, a recent diagnosis for my wife of having herpes has caused both of us a lot of shed tears and we just don't understand how this could happen.   We are both 50 years old and have been married 28 years.  Neither one of us has ever ever had another partner or any sexual relations with anybody else.  We have been totally faithful to each other, have a very strong marriage and 4 kids.   Last week, my wife started having symptoms of a yeast infection which typically occurs once every couple of years.    Typically, a single doze of diflucan will wipe it away.   She started having extreme pain with urinating and pain sitting or walking.  So she went into see a PA at her Drs. office.   They said she had herpes.  So they did a swab test and it came back 2 days later confirming this.   She had asked for something to handle the pain, especially during urinating and they basically told her to suffer and it will get better over time.   I started searching to find remedies and understand how this could actually happen and found this site.  I think I've read everything on this site over the last two days.   The PA claimed that it wasn't typed, just that it was herpes.   It would seem that the only logical explanation of this would be if I had HSV-1.  However, I've never in my life had any symptoms of this, no cold sores, nothing.  I've had thrush many times due to taking inhalers which can cause some internal mouth sores.   So now to the questions:

1.  The Dr. also said that strep was also found in the test.  Could this be the cause of the blisters?
2.  Could the swab test be a false positive?
3.  Why after 28 years with no symptoms of anything and no other partners this show up now?  How could this have happened?
4.  Trying to be rational, if I acquired HSV-1 and gave it to her orally, what precautions do we now need to take going forward in life?    After everything heals, can a normal sex life resume?   What are the chances that it comes back?   Is it safe for me to have unprotected intercourse?  Oral sex?
5.  How could have I acquired HSV-1?  
6.  What are the next steps that I need to take to verify all of this?  It looks like most of these tests can have some false positives... would this be the case for the swab test as well?

This has been a very emotional roller-coaster for both of us!   The stigma around STD's in general has always been so negative and demoralizing that you don't dare talk about it.  You can even detect this with the attitude of the health-care workers once they discover what you have.   This is so confusing and upsetting, any information would be appreciated.

Thanks!

[Concerned4us]

Fleetwood20

Merry Christmas and thanks so much for the information.   I got my IGG test results back and I am HSV-1 positive just like we suspected.     So at this point is my wife orally immune and I am genitally immune?

Thanks Fleetwood!

[Fleetwood20]

1. It depends on country and region, but numbers are down these days and probably looks more like 70% in developed countries. So a reasonable chance she did not acquire HSV1 in her youth. However she would have had immunity from an infection and certainly would not have experienced symptoms such as you describe if she already had HSV1. The odds are stacked overwhelmingly on the side that she has just been infected by your oral infection.
2. There are many theories on this. These include the adult mouth not being as sensitive an area compared to genitals, different immune structures at play as well as skin based immunity built from exposure to HSV1 over a lifetime of kissing people with HSV1.
3. It is extremely unlikely once the infection is established that she will get it orally.

[Concerned4us]

I apologize for this, but the more I think about it the more questions I come up with:

1.   I've heard that 90% of the population has HSV-1.  If I'm to assume that my wife had it orally already, wouldn't she have been immune to getting it genitally?

2.   If I have it orally, assuming at this point that was what caused this, why wouldn't she have gotten it orally through kissing?   Again, never had a cold sore ever.

3.  Now that she has it genitally and we have unprotected sex, could she get it orally from me?

I'm also assuming that this is a numbers game and that nothing is definitive at this point.    In fact, it appears that our original outbreak, assuming that I have it orally, seems to have been a low probability of it being contracted by my wife... so I'm not feeling like a lottery winner right now.

Thanks Fleetwood!

[Fleetwood20]

No for a male this does not seem to happen. There is certainly no documented evidence that this happens. Your established oral infection gives you immunity.

[Concerned4us]

Fleetwood20,

Thanks so much for your positive comments.   Something that I'm unsure of now is if my wife can spread HSV1 genitally to me during unprotected intercourse?   I've been told that it can move to different locations based on contact.   So even though I might have it orally, I can still get it genitally.  Is this understanding correct?

Thanks again!

[Fleetwood20]

Although a herpes diagnosis is a shock, there is nothing 'sinister' about this.
The most likely explanation is that you have had an oral HSV1 infection since your youth and passed it to your wife genitally through oral sex. No cheating, no malice and no concerns for the longer term. A test for you will probably show HSV1+ but be careful as it can be missed by tests so do not jump to funny conclusions if you test negative!
Also note that in half of genital HSV1 infections, this is it. Your wife may never experience another issue in her lifetime.
To your questions:
1. Maybe, but a swab for HSV if tested using PCR is definitive. Sounds like a culture though, which is also extremely accurate in the positive. The culture can be typed properly if they retained the sample.
2. No. In a very small number of cases some dead DNA might be found in the test but you or your wfe would have to have HSV1 already. The symptoms do seem related to herpes, it is all adding up really.
3. Each episode has maybe a 1 in 5000 chance of transmission. It is a numbers game. On average it takes thousands of oral sex episodes to transfer it and many couples never transfer it.
4. Let everything resume as per normal. No need to change a thing. You will both have HSV1 now and that's a better place to be in many respects. Within a few months, your wife will be immune to an oral infection.
5. From your parents as young child, probably aged less then 3!
6. Only relevant test is a blood test for you looking for IgG antibodies type specific for HSV1 and HSV2.
Yes this will seem like a roller coaster. But I hope you and your wife see this for what it is. A chance event of silly virus that has caused you zero problems all your life and is likely to cause your wife zero problems in a few months time! Nothing about your sex life or other aspects in life need to chance a bit. In fact now that you can't infect each other anymore, that can make things even more liberating.