Shocking truth

[wahwah]

I can't believe it. I am 19 yrs old and old enough to know what herpes looks like because of all those sex ed classes in highschool. I noticed my dad had a cold sore....i dont know how he got it. Now that i look back, i've realized why, at those moments when he had it, he would avoid kissing us. He gets it like once a yr, and it looks red and towards the end a yellow crust forms. He gets it adjacent to his lip and under his nostril. One day i was looking through his suitcase and I found a condom. I freaked out. My mom had one of her ovaries out so she can't get pregnant, why the hell would he have a condom. So i mentioned it to my mom once when my dad was out of the country. She said he has been with other women when on his business trips. But they use condoms. I was so dissapointed in my father and my mother. They have an agreement. I dont know what to think. I'm so upset. I have never talked to anyone about this before, i am embarressed and so angry with them. I wanted to also ask, are herpes genetic ???? Also what if i have it...i've never had outbreaks i know what they look like cuz my dad has them. How do you get tested ???

[jab81]

:) thank you!  and yes, thank God for this forum... feels good to vent, spill, listen and share with everyone.

One day at a time!

[wahwah]

I dont have anyone to talk to, my siblings are too young. I would never want them to know this, so I have to keep it to myself. Thank you so much jab81 I dont feel so bad now that I've finally told someone. I have had to deal with this secret for 4 years now. I will pray for you and your health, I'll never forget your compassion.

Thanks <33333

[jab81]

First of all, I'm sorry to hear that your dad is seeing other women. Second, I'm sorry that your mother is allowing this! I don't understand relationships and people sometimes.  Do you have siblings or someone else in your family you can trust to talk about this? Or even see a counselor?

As for the cold sore on your dad's lip, he could've had it for a very long time. Most cold sores on the mouth are hsv 1. From what I understand, and from what my doctor has told me, hsv1/cold sores on the mouth is not genetic. I carry hsv 1, but have never shown any symptoms in my life. My mom gets cold sores all the time. My doctor told me I probably got it from her or from a boyfriend at one time (from sharing a drink, from kissing, etc.) You can have hsv1 and never show any symptoms.

You can test for oral herpes through a herpes blood test. My doctor gave me a blood test for hsv 1 and hsv 2. Hsv 1 showed up in the blood test because it's been in my system for years. However, I was just recently diagnosed with hsv 2, and this virus did NOT show up in the blood test, but did through a swab/sampling of the lesion. The longer hsv 2 is in my system, eventually it will show through a blood test, but it's too early to show up right now.

Again, I'm sooo sorry for what you're having to go through right now with your parents. *hugs*