Aa
The honest TRUTH
I have really been devastated about my diagnosis is August. My gyn and a Specialist that I traveled over 2 hours to see told my husband and I that I had just recently in the past 6 months contracted herpes from my husband. We have been married for years and years. This had really put a damper on our marriage to a point of thinking divorce on my end. IF, my husband had herpes2 for 25 years and we never had sex could I possibly contract the virus this late in our marriage? When he would breakout his doctor told him to take Valtrex 2x a day until the leison healed. Now..over the years he never had many breakouts (or at least I didn't know of). I just thought he didn't want to have sex that he was not as sexual as I was. But NOw, our lives are at it's worse. He says that he has never even come close to having anything to do with anyone. My antibodies were very high when I was tested, over a month after he had arranged to be tested and found out by specimen he was hsv2 positive. Then..after we waited for his test results I started having symptoms. I just in all truth have other people have this happen to them after years of being married.? I'm just about to lose my mind about all of it. Could I, despite what the specialist says, have hsv2 a long time and the timing of the test I was having symtoms because of my age? I had something happening to me in 2007, where I thought I could have ringworms from dealing with caring for wild kittens. Someone try to give me some insight to what might have happened. No one believes after 20 something years I could have just gotten the infection. Every website says something else...I'm lost in my thoughts. Has anyone listening, know how this could happen? The marriage is getting really bad. Help me people I need to know the truth and need to move on with my life if I can, and manage to get past my marriage. I try to think of my children and grandchildren, but I also need to think of the rest of my life and how I want to be treated and honored as a wife. Sorry so long. I posted before and Grace you have tried to help and I thank you for it. God Bless everyone that is going through being diagnosed with hsv2. I have to live with it now for the rest of my life, but I try to think of it this way, people have cold sores on their mouths and we just have it somewhere else. Thanks in advance.
Typically when we first meet someone/get married, the sex is far more frequent than it is as the years go by. Referring to it "like rabbits" just refers to the frequency of it in the begining. Sorry that part confused you/upset you. It wasn't meant to.
The igm test is frequently falsely positive which is why we never recommned it being done. http***www.medhelp.org/posts/show/248394 is a terrific prior post by Dr Handsfield as to why the igm is a bad test. Unfortunately not all providers are aware of the drawbacks of the herpes igm test so they still order it and still think they can diagnose a recent infection of herpes by it being +. You absolutely can not predict how long you've been infected if the igg is + and so is the igm. I didn't even catch the first time I read your post that you had posted before, found your posts from back in august. When you first noticed symptoms your igg was >5 so it wasn't a newly acquired infection for you then - just your first obvious recurence. You could've contracted it 4 months before then, 4 years or even 20 years before then.
grace
The igm test is frequently falsely positive which is why we never recommned it being done. http***www.medhelp.org/posts/show/248394 is a terrific prior post by Dr Handsfield as to why the igm is a bad test. Unfortunately not all providers are aware of the drawbacks of the herpes igm test so they still order it and still think they can diagnose a recent infection of herpes by it being +. You absolutely can not predict how long you've been infected if the igg is + and so is the igm. I didn't even catch the first time I read your post that you had posted before, found your posts from back in august. When you first noticed symptoms your igg was >5 so it wasn't a newly acquired infection for you then - just your first obvious recurence. You could've contracted it 4 months before then, 4 years or even 20 years before then.
grace
All this happened last year 2008. Boy I'm really having problems. I guess it was such a bad year I wanted to skip it. ( Sorry about the years.
What confused me was other websites state with the igm and the igg if your catch the igm and igg at the right time you can diagnose. Again, I'm posting more info for you. Sorry.
I'm confused where x amount of years ago like rabbits in the bedroom comes in? 31 years for the answer about how long we have been together not counting the year we dated before marriage. We both were faithful before marriage if that's what your asking, if that's the question. I had 2 children ( I think you already know), and neither child was sick, the specialist asked. The test your asking about I spoke to you about. is on record. Was igm and igg herpes select. I think I've said enough. Thanks
Well obviously if your hubby had been having symptoms for 25 years but never got properly diagnosed until 2007, it wasn't from him cheating recently. Unfortunately being misdiagnosed is something that happens :( Should he have told you about all this in 2007? sure he should've but what's done is done and no changing that part. ( avoiding all man bashing here though really it's hard!!!! )
I'm assuming you had a blood test done? Do you know the results to post here - ie hsv1 igg 3. 5 and hsv2 igg 4. 9 or whatever they are? I'm guessing your gyn is going by the igm results as how they are saying you contracted it recently and that is wrong. The igm herpes test is a crappy test and we don't recommend its use at all. You can not ascertain the length of infection from the igm results.
So you don't mention how long the two of you have been together but I'm guessing another question is why now and not X number of years ago when we first met and were going at it like rabbits in the bedroom? Well it's as much about bad luck as anything. If your igg was + for hsv2, there's no telling when you contracted hsv2 from him. You might've contracted it long ago and it wasn't until you knew you had it and started thinking about it that you started noticing symptoms of an ob ( or it could be related to vaginitis too - hard to tell from what you've written ). There is absolutely no reason to take valtrex for a year either. You obviously haven't been bothered by frequent recurrences of the virus so unless you really feel the need to, you don't need to treat your herpes. Same with hubby - if he's having recurrences frequently and bothered by them and wants them to stop he can go on suppressive therapy. Otherwise just continuing to treat ob's when he has them as he has been is fine. Same as if his ob's aren't all that bothersome, he doesn't even need to treat them since you both have hsv2. Treating ob's just helps them to heal faster, nothing else.
Dumbfounded shared her story with you and there are many, many others who have had similar experiences. It really is as much about bad luck as anything when the virus gets transmitted and many couples have the virus in their lives without knowing it for many, many years. It's far more common than most folks suspect. No reason to suspect your hubby cheated since this has been going on for so long. He just now has a proper name for it that's all. It's unfortunate that the providers you've seen so far aren't as knowledgeable about genital herpes as some of us are :( Could've saved you the 2 hour trip if you had only found this forum first!
Hang in there and keep asking questions :)
grace
I'm assuming you had a blood test done? Do you know the results to post here - ie hsv1 igg 3. 5 and hsv2 igg 4. 9 or whatever they are? I'm guessing your gyn is going by the igm results as how they are saying you contracted it recently and that is wrong. The igm herpes test is a crappy test and we don't recommend its use at all. You can not ascertain the length of infection from the igm results.
So you don't mention how long the two of you have been together but I'm guessing another question is why now and not X number of years ago when we first met and were going at it like rabbits in the bedroom? Well it's as much about bad luck as anything. If your igg was + for hsv2, there's no telling when you contracted hsv2 from him. You might've contracted it long ago and it wasn't until you knew you had it and started thinking about it that you started noticing symptoms of an ob ( or it could be related to vaginitis too - hard to tell from what you've written ). There is absolutely no reason to take valtrex for a year either. You obviously haven't been bothered by frequent recurrences of the virus so unless you really feel the need to, you don't need to treat your herpes. Same with hubby - if he's having recurrences frequently and bothered by them and wants them to stop he can go on suppressive therapy. Otherwise just continuing to treat ob's when he has them as he has been is fine. Same as if his ob's aren't all that bothersome, he doesn't even need to treat them since you both have hsv2. Treating ob's just helps them to heal faster, nothing else.
Dumbfounded shared her story with you and there are many, many others who have had similar experiences. It really is as much about bad luck as anything when the virus gets transmitted and many couples have the virus in their lives without knowing it for many, many years. It's far more common than most folks suspect. No reason to suspect your hubby cheated since this has been going on for so long. He just now has a proper name for it that's all. It's unfortunate that the providers you've seen so far aren't as knowledgeable about genital herpes as some of us are :( Could've saved you the 2 hour trip if you had only found this forum first!
Hang in there and keep asking questions :)
grace
No he says he did not know he had it for 20+ years. For some reason asked the doctor in 2007 to test him. I had told him about the feelings I was having like worms and I was counting the days and would have to go to the doctor if it didn't go away. Then he made arrangement to get a specimen tested. When He brokeout early July he went and was tested and we waited for about 3 weeks and the test came back positive. He told me I needed to be tested and that I would also be possitive. He said that I had to have it if he did. He had breakouts for like 25 years. We never had sex during breakouts. He told me one time the dentist years ago gave him something for coldsores. I was tested about 2 months after his test results and waited several weeks to find out the blood test was positive and I freaked. My husband said he had only had realation with 2 people before we were married and none since we were married. No he says he did not know he had hsv2 at all. He had spots come up for those 25 years and really was never concerned about them an neither was I because he said the doctor told him it could be jockich and gave him cream in which made them go away he said. The Gyn said I recently contracted the herpes. I asked him if this could happen after that many years and he just starred me in the face. We traveled 2 hours for a meeting with a specialist in infectious dieases and she taked to us individually, checking my lungs, throat, ect. I don't know what he spoke with the specialist about, probably the same things he told me because he spent only 5 minutes with the specialist. I know she ask both of us if we cheated. MY anwser was NO. The specialist ask me if the gyn gave me meds and of course he had given me Valtrex. She agreed I needed to take them for about 1 yr and that I had contracted the hsv2 within the last 6 months as stated to my husband and myself. Yes I am asking could if be possible to contract hsv2 after 20+ years or is it impossible and my husband had to of cheated. I need the truth. My husband says we may never know what happened. I hope I have given you more of what I'm asking. Can people go years without contracting or someone has cheated. I was also asking if the gyn and specialist not really know. After the blood test I was really stressed and started having redness, hurting in the vagina and my anus was swollen inside for a very long time. I had to take pain meds couldn't wear jeans or anything tight. I have already been treated for a yeast infection that lasted 4 months after being diagnosed. I NEED to know whether partners can spread the infection in later years. I hope I have given you more specifics of what happened. Thanks in advance.
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also you are asking if hubby really could've had it all this time and just recently transmitted it to you but thru reading you think that couldn't be the case and he had to have cheated on you at some point that you recently contracted it?
grace
grace
Ok I just need to clarify some things from your post since I"m a bit confused reading it.
Hubby had hsv2 since before you met him? is that right? You knew this or didn't know it? Did he know it? I"m confused about that part.
You were told you have it too recently thru a blood test? after finding out thru the blood test that you have hsv2, you started noticing symptoms?
grace
Hubby had hsv2 since before you met him? is that right? You knew this or didn't know it? Did he know it? I"m confused about that part.
You were told you have it too recently thru a blood test? after finding out thru the blood test that you have hsv2, you started noticing symptoms?
grace
Hi,
In August of this year, I was diagnosed with HSV 2. I had what my Dr thought was shingles, and she did a PCR culture. It came back positive for Herpes.
I have been with my husband for 17 years, and I was married before and had only been with him while I was married to him. I haven't been with anyone else besides my husbands. (sounds bad huh?..;lol)
ANYWAY. After I was diagnosed, my husband got tested and his first test was equivocal, but when he tested again a couple of months later, he was negative.
So, I have had this for years and so far, I haven't given it to my husband in all of this time.
I never had an outbreak, at least one that I recognized, so yes, it can be there for years and never make itself known.
When I was first diagnosed, I thought it was the end of the world. I thought for sure that my marriage would be over and that I would become a hermit for the rest of my life.
It's been a few months, and I have, mostly moved on.
I hope you will be able to do the same.
In August of this year, I was diagnosed with HSV 2. I had what my Dr thought was shingles, and she did a PCR culture. It came back positive for Herpes.
I have been with my husband for 17 years, and I was married before and had only been with him while I was married to him. I haven't been with anyone else besides my husbands. (sounds bad huh?..;lol)
ANYWAY. After I was diagnosed, my husband got tested and his first test was equivocal, but when he tested again a couple of months later, he was negative.
So, I have had this for years and so far, I haven't given it to my husband in all of this time.
I never had an outbreak, at least one that I recognized, so yes, it can be there for years and never make itself known.
When I was first diagnosed, I thought it was the end of the world. I thought for sure that my marriage would be over and that I would become a hermit for the rest of my life.
It's been a few months, and I have, mostly moved on.
I hope you will be able to do the same.
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
