Aa
Transmission risk question
Im a 25 year old man. Went out with someone I ment via a dating app. We kissed on Saturday (2 days ago) and yesterday (sunday) she told me she has hsv 1 and "forgot to tell me". At the time I didnt notice a d sores and she said last outbreak she has was in 8th grade. We just kissed. Does this mean I have herpes too now? I dont have any symptoms currently, although I think it's too early for symptoms.. its day 2 after kissing her.
I'm really worried and cant focus on anything else.
I'm really worried and cant focus on anything else.
COMMUNITY LEADER
No, it doesn't mean you have it, but you could. You could have already had it - about half of the adult population does, and 90% of those will never get any symptoms. You could have gotten it from her if you don't already have it.
You can find out if you already have it by asking your doctor for a type specific IgG herpes blood test. Do that now. It can take up to 4 months to develop antibodies, but most will by 6 weeks. If you do it now, you'll know if you already had it before kissing her.
If you already have it, what changes? Not very much, really. You should probably decide to inform partners before oral sex, at least, if not kissing, but not everyone decides to tell before kissing (if they even know they have it). Statistically, you've already kissed people with it, including your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. You've likely shared drinks, eating utensils (forks, spoons, and the like) with someone who has it, too.
If you get symptoms, it will be oral. Herpes doesn't travel through the body to another location, so you'd only have oral herpes if all you did was kiss.
If you liked her otherwise, this is NOT a reason to stop seeing her, considering that about half of the women you date will have it. If you have a germ phobia, though, and will panic every time you kiss, then perhaps let her find someone who won't, and you can find someone who won't cause panic with intimacy. That's only fair for you both.
You can find out if you already have it by asking your doctor for a type specific IgG herpes blood test. Do that now. It can take up to 4 months to develop antibodies, but most will by 6 weeks. If you do it now, you'll know if you already had it before kissing her.
If you already have it, what changes? Not very much, really. You should probably decide to inform partners before oral sex, at least, if not kissing, but not everyone decides to tell before kissing (if they even know they have it). Statistically, you've already kissed people with it, including your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. You've likely shared drinks, eating utensils (forks, spoons, and the like) with someone who has it, too.
If you get symptoms, it will be oral. Herpes doesn't travel through the body to another location, so you'd only have oral herpes if all you did was kiss.
If you liked her otherwise, this is NOT a reason to stop seeing her, considering that about half of the women you date will have it. If you have a germ phobia, though, and will panic every time you kiss, then perhaps let her find someone who won't, and you can find someone who won't cause panic with intimacy. That's only fair for you both.
2 Comments
Thank you for a quick response. I've kissed a lot of people over time. I get tested every 6 months or so. Last one was in November. I was negative for everything.
I've had ingrown hair by my lip before. I know that because there was a hair inside the pus filled blister.
I just feel like this is something that shouldve been disclosed before kissing.
After I kissed this woman.. few hours later i kissed my little nephew. I'm more worried about him getting hsv 1 because of me.
I'm going to wait 6 weeks and get a test done. Or go to a doctor if I see any symptoms of hsv.
How long before I would see symptoms, if I'm infected.
I feel like such a dirty human being now. I'm praying I didnt get it.
I've had ingrown hair by my lip before. I know that because there was a hair inside the pus filled blister.
I just feel like this is something that shouldve been disclosed before kissing.
After I kissed this woman.. few hours later i kissed my little nephew. I'm more worried about him getting hsv 1 because of me.
I'm going to wait 6 weeks and get a test done. Or go to a doctor if I see any symptoms of hsv.
How long before I would see symptoms, if I'm infected.
I feel like such a dirty human being now. I'm praying I didnt get it.
Oh we have so much to unpack here.
First, I'm assuming you kissed your nephew quickly, even if it was on the lips. It's highly unlikely that would transmit anything. There is no need to worry about there, especially just a few hours after kissing her. IF you had gotten hsv1 from her, the infection wouldn't have time to do anything yet, meaning you weren't infectious yet.
Make sure your November testing included herpes. Most STD testing doesn't, especially at clinics, because of the cost.
People with oral herpes, genital herpes or any STD are not "dirty". You've said you've kissed a lot of people - statistically, half of them have hsv1, whether or not they know it. Some of them probably did. Your mom or grandmother may have it - are they dirty?
"Dirty" people need to bathe. That's it. People with STDs have infections they got from sex. These infections are no different than strep, the flu, the measles, etc., except for the mode of transmission. If you got strep or a cold from kissing her, would you feel dirty? Herpes is just another germ doing it's biological thing, reproducing and transmitting, just like a cold or strep.
I've had hsv2 for over 10 years. I promise you I am not dirty.
I know you didn't mean anything offensive by it, and you are buying into the stigma, but don't let yourself do that.
First, I'm assuming you kissed your nephew quickly, even if it was on the lips. It's highly unlikely that would transmit anything. There is no need to worry about there, especially just a few hours after kissing her. IF you had gotten hsv1 from her, the infection wouldn't have time to do anything yet, meaning you weren't infectious yet.
Make sure your November testing included herpes. Most STD testing doesn't, especially at clinics, because of the cost.
People with oral herpes, genital herpes or any STD are not "dirty". You've said you've kissed a lot of people - statistically, half of them have hsv1, whether or not they know it. Some of them probably did. Your mom or grandmother may have it - are they dirty?
"Dirty" people need to bathe. That's it. People with STDs have infections they got from sex. These infections are no different than strep, the flu, the measles, etc., except for the mode of transmission. If you got strep or a cold from kissing her, would you feel dirty? Herpes is just another germ doing it's biological thing, reproducing and transmitting, just like a cold or strep.
I've had hsv2 for over 10 years. I promise you I am not dirty.
I know you didn't mean anything offensive by it, and you are buying into the stigma, but don't let yourself do that.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
