Do you know what type of genital herpes you have - type 1 or 2? I ask because transmission rates for genital to genital is really different for each type. If you don't know, ask your doctor for a type specific IgG blood test.
However, it is really rare for herpes of either type to go from genitals to the mouth. It is really common for it to go from the mouth to the genitals, resulting in genital herpes type 1 (the number indicates the strain, not the location). There is less virus present with shedding than with blisters or sores present.
I'm a little confused by your timeline. When she performed oral, you had no symptoms. You then had the handjob, and the day after, you had the symptoms of what you consider your outbreak? And all of this was 5 days after treating an outbreak?
Whatever the timeline, the virus doesn't travel through the body. If she only performed oral on you (nothing genital to genital), then her infection would be oral. Herpes infects nerve groups, and stays in those nerve groups. It isn't a systemic body infection.
If you didn't do anything genital to her, and she had some pain and burning, perhaps she is getting a yeast infection or something, but it's not herpes from this encounter, based on what you describe.
You should check out the herpes handbook, written by Terri Warren, who is one of the world's leading experts on herpes. It's free :) https://westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/ It may provide you with more info than your doctor has. (Doctors typically suck when it comes to herpes.)
I hope this helps, but please feel free to clarify anything I missed.