Have you had these recurrences cultured to make sure they are hsv2? You could have MRSA or something, and it just looks a lot like herpes. Or you could have MRSA or something that is triggering the hsv2 outbreaks. Secondary infections are well known for triggering outbreaks genitally - think another STD or yeast, bacterial vaginosis, jock itch, etc., so it would make sense that it would on your hand.
You have antibodies now that would prevent you from infecting another location on your body, though obviously you should be careful with your eyes - not obsessively careful, just aware. The rest of your body's skin is too thick for the virus to penetrate anyway, so you don't need to worry so much. I'm sorry you have been.
Your body developed antibodies within probably 6 weeks, give or take, of your initial infection. You don't need to "train" it, and clearly, that isn't working. I'd suggest getting it cultured to make sure there isn't anything else going on here, and if there isn't, take the meds.
Honestly, I haven't seen much saying that the recurrences of whitlow is rare. It shouldn't be like this, though. Let me know what happens, and I hope you get some relief.