Hi, thanks to anyone who can help me with these questions.
I'm a male in a committed relationship who had one or two brief encounters outside the relationship. I've since been plagued with guilt and anxiety and regret. And maybe also some physical symptoms of something NOT caused by anxiety, but who knows?
In my episodes, I never had oral sex (either way), had no intercourse (vaginal or anal), and I don't believe my genitals ever touched hers. I also have no idea if she had HPV.
What I know I DID do was finger her vagina, lay naked next to her, hug her, have general making-out full-body contact, and allow her to grind her very wet vagina on my thigh, up near my waist, to get her off (I was trying to avoid intercourse). So there was direct skin-to-skin contact, although I'm not certain it was in what I would define as my genital area.
There were two experiences. I think the second was mostly hugging and sleeping, but I can't say for sure.
I began feeling little itches about 5-10 days after. My real-life partner suffered extreme vaginal bleeding after that, although she's menopausal and that's happened before. I developed what seemed like a rash in my groin, on my upper thighs, although I am prone to an occassional fungal infection there. My partner got a rash on the top of her buttocks (it looked different than mine--mine was just some red areas, hers were a series of isolated circles) but she put cortisone on it and it went away. I've felt an occassional periodic dull pain at my anus and something similar at my tailbone. I now also have a sore lymph node on one side of my groin that's gone on for about a week.
All this has happened within the first 45 days of my exposure.
The other woman had been tested for STDs before we were together and was nice enough to do it again. So I know it's not HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or HSV2. I'm not sure if she tested for HSV1 (I've never had either HSV1 or HSV2, so I'm in the minority at least with HSV1). I don't believe she tested for things like trich or BV, I'm not sure if she was visually inspected for warts recently although she has a nice job with insurance and I bet she gets her yearly check up, but I know that's not fool-proof for warts.
So what I'm trying to get is some form of accurate guess as to the chances I got HPV from these two episodes, which did include finger/genital contact (my finger to her genitals) and did include her rubbing her vagina on my thigh, but which included no intercourse, no genital contact, and no oral sex. Each episode was short--an hour or two tops.
I have seen no warts on me but of course I know i can get HPV without getting warts and I also bet I could have some and not see them.
I know there's a lot of conflicting information out there about transmission--I've read quite a bit in the forum ,through Dr. Handsfield, through the CDC, through the Journal of Infectious Diseases, etc.Some places make it sound like it's a 20 percent chance of getting HPV if you have sex with your partner for six months (that's a University of Hawaii study I think). There's also a CDC study that seems to put it at 5-17 transmissions per 100 "people months," with female to male being 17 and male to female being 5.
But I'd appreciate the opinion of one of you knoweldgable, objective, not-plagued-by-anxiety forum moderators.
I appreciate your time. Thanks.