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how does hpv work and what do i do?

i wanted to ask this in the experts section but it wasn't taking new questions...

i got genital warts from my boyfriend (i know they were from him because previous to him i had literally only ever kissed a boy) when i was 21.... i am now 30. i got them removed as soon as they appeared i have never had a problem. I stayed in this relationship for longer than i wanted to because i was sure no one would ever want me again. I cried about it almost everyday my boyfriend really didn't care....we had obviously been told different things by different doctors. I was told by the first doctor that really there was nothing she could do, she couldn't even remove them for me and that i would have this for life and i would have to tell all future sexual partners. I then got the vaccine even though i had already got warts, I figured it would still protect me from the other types. A few weeks later I saw another doctor about it, when I told her what the older doctor said she laughed, took a look, and said that she saw this all time, all day, and that she could easily remove the small warts I had. She did. Since then I have never had a problem (like i said i was 21 i'm 30 now) but I still cry and get horribly sad about. I have a mental illness so in the past I have brought it with my psychiatrist...she said she didn't think it worked like how the old doctor had said but that really wasn't her area and referred me to another medical doctor at the university i was at at the time. this other doctor told me because it had been so long since i contracted it that i most likely did not have it anymore and i should "keep on keeping on" and that i had no obligation to inform any future partners because i didn't have it anymore. i didn't believe her because what i had previously been told so i constantly went back to see her and brought it up with her and she always said the same thing. eventually she gave me a test and it came back negative. that still didn't quiet my mind because of what i was first told. eventually i got a new doctor and i asked her about it, she said same thing that i didn't have to worry about it anymore since it has been like 9 years and not to be so upset. and that my body had either "cleared" the infection or it was dormant and my body was supressing it so it didn't matter any more..this was a few months ago...however recently i've been having a lot of anxiety about it. i can't sleep, i can't eat, i cry about it. so i went back to her and asked her straight up what t is all about and how it works and what i have to do. and she told me a different answer...within the span of a few months...she said to me that i would live in me forever and i would should always tell potential partners because I could always infect them. I am so freaking confused...then i'm reading the expert section here and the expert is saying the same thing that she previously told me and i saw told by the other doc that it is basically not around and i don't need to worry. i am not currently in a relationship but i would like to start dating and i'm scared because i don't know what to do. and if i was to tell a potential partner i don't know what is the accurate information to tell them! I would absolutely die, I would not be able to take it if I put someone through the emotional pain i went through. I really wanted to ask the experts but I figured i might as well post here and see what people said. I am going to see her again soon, so i will probably bring it up again.
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Avatar universal
I read everything you wrote.

The reason for the negative test result is because it is at such low levels that the test cannot detect it. In the past, some GYNs told their patients that they cleared it and no longer have it. Things have changed. Based on what I've read online, doctors now say that it is dormant but that it lives in the body forever. Infecting others will be a low probability but it's only for partners who have never been sexually active.

Unless you date very innocent men who have had very few partners in their lives (virgins or almost virgins), saying anything at this point is not recommended. It is assumed they have it too. Since men cannot be tested for it, most don't even know. The guys who think they don't have it but have slept with more than 4 partners in their lives are ignorant of the facts or delusional.

After 9 years, you have made it dormant and are not infectious at this time. No one can say for how long but it could be forever. If you feel guilty, you would need to educate future partners on the virus and why they probably also have it. It isn't a death sentence or the end of your sex life. Please move on and understand that 8 out of 10 men you meet in real life, probably have it too!  
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Thanks for reading all that and leaving a comment! It makes me feel better....for now. I'm sure in like 2 weeks I'll be freaking out again. But at least I can get a little respite.
Avatar universal
I PM'd you
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