Please some advice!

[muxo_xoxo]

Hello we'll I have a 8 year old daughter she was diagnosed with ADD about 3 years ago.besides that she also has a speech disorder and she is quite behind in school . She has some special ed classes. Anywho we'll the doctors haven't been able to diagnose her with anything helpful for her. What worries me is that she has turned into a big liar. Last year alone I caught 2 CPs cases cause she went and lied about me hitting her. Another time she went and said she had blood on her panties. The school of course calls me immediately, me as a concerned mother immediately thought of sexual abuse. I was driving 100 mph lost wrecked just to make it there and she lied about the blood. Another time she came home and said a little boy had asked her to get naked for one dollar and that she did , in recess, and that her teacher saw her and asked her to put her clothes back on. Which I immediately figured had to be a lie since I never got a call about such incident. And I asked her a few weeks later about it she said she lied. I don't know where to go from here I don't know what to do. I don't know who to take her to I'm lost. How could I ever trust her? Please help me I'm completely lost :(

[muxo_xoxo]

Thank you so much Dr Resnik! I just get so sad because I don't know how to help her. My daughter seems to have multiple problems. Besides her add she cannot read, she is in second grade and will be held there this coming up year. She gets additional classes some sort of special ed but I haven't seen much improvement. I personally think she might also have dislexya. She still writes stuff backwards. But even though she has been seen by several psychologists they still were not able to help her. I don't see how they could due to get speech impediment which she is getting therapy for. I'm just so desperate. Her lying has gotten me 2 cps cases due to her saying I abused her physically, they did investigate and ruled that out, sent her to a psychologist who did nothing but put her on Strattera. Well I just have to wait and hope for the best!!

[Tali Shenfield, PhD]

Hello,
It sounds your main concern right now is your daughter’s lying. Many children go through a period of mild dishonesty around the age of 6 to 9 years, which usually resolves on its own. They start lying because they discover that it can help them avoid punishment or get what they want. For some children, however, it becomes a chronic problem which is a red flag for the parents as it tells you that your child has some unmet needs which she is trying to meet this way. From the examples you’ve given, it seems that she is trying to get attention from adults, both yourself and the school personnel. See if things have changed in the family or your personal life and you are not as available to your daughter as you were before. Try to give her daily positive attention, spend time together, play, talk, etc., without her asking for it. You can tell her that you understand that she made up these things so that you’ll pay more attention to her, and that she does not have to make up stuff, but can simply tell you that she wants some personal time with you. It is concerning that some of her fantasies are sexualized in topic, and i would strongly advise you to investigate what might be the reason. Is she watching some programs on TV that are not for her age? Does she get information from the Internet? From older friends?
It is possible that you will be able to resolve the problem by following the advice above. However, keep in mind that ADD children can be very impulsive and do things they know are wrong without much thinking about the consequences. If this is the case, see if your daughter is receiving a proper treatment for ADD. In any case, if these incidents do not stop you need to get help from a child counselor or psychologist.
Hope this helps.
Kind Regards,

Dr. Tali Shenfield
psy-ed.com

[Rebecca Resnik, PsyD]

Hello, Lying is a fairly common behavior in young children. Typically, children lie to avoid disappointing adults or to avoid punishment. Sometimes there will be lying for attention or to try to get some extra TLC from adults. In your daughter's case, however, it does sound like her behavior is beyond the sorts of typical lies children tell. It is possible that she has been exposed to things that she should not have--perhaps through another child, television, or from someone in the household. Children with ADHD tend to be impulsive, and may have trouble understanding things they encounter. They may act without stopping to think. To be safe, I would encourage you to have her work with a licensed child therapist for a while. Whatever the causes of this behavior, it would be in her best interests to learn more about what is motivating her, and help her get what she needs through more appropriate behaviors.

Best wishes,
Rebecca
Disclaimer: The information in this post is for educational purposes only. It is never intended to replace face to face medical, psychological, or psychiatric care.