I have identical 5 year old boy as your 3 yr girl

[annford]

Have you found any solutions?  My 5 year old boy is under drs care and takes meds for bi polar, occd, hyperactivity,and moderate autism, but his meanness, hitting, hating, biting is all directed to me.  I have tried everything.  Everyone says I am just "too easy on him", but I swear I could kill him with spankings and tie him in his room forever and it would still be the same.  He has, right before I am to pick him up from school, told his teacher "he is going to tell me he hates me when I get there".  
Anyone got any info that helps.  I feel so bad, guilty and there seems to be a fine line between love and hate.  I would never hurt him, but there are many many times I am frustrated enough to consider letting his father have full custody (I forgot to say my son is from divorced parents)
PLEASE HELP.

[spiritwolf31]

Wow that would be a hard struggle. Amazingly since school started and he is on ADHD meds he is actually pretty calm most of the time. The only instance at school was another little boy kept staring at him and he told his teacher to make him stop and the teacher did get on to him but the little boy kept on so finally my little boy told the other, "If you dont stop staring at me I'm gonna whoop your butt!" This was literally on the note sent home by his teacher. After that the teacher made the little boy instigating the issue sit in a "time out" for a little bit but to this day my son will tell you how he really does not like this little boy and out of a classroom of 18 he is the only one my son does not like and unfortunately he makes it well known.

We did put him in football and that seems to help as well...maybe because it helps him to get his frustrations out. I dont know but the doc said we'd just have to keep readjusting our routines as he readjusts his behavior. I am hoping it stays mild as it is now cuz I honestly dont know if I can handle the bad to worse you have    ><

[theather299]

Hi I just read your post on your child. I have an 18 year old that had and still has the same emotional problems as your son. At the age of 6 he stabbed a boy in the eye with a pencil, why because he wanted to . From their it was every week going in and talking to the school. We did all the doctor things we even had him placed in the mental health ward for three weeks to have him evaluated. They came back with bi-polar, and a few other things. They put on lithium.and a few other things some to help him sleep and something to wake him up. We took him off the lithium way because it made him even worse. If you can believe their is a worst. Come to find out bi-polar disorder can not really be diag. until after the child turns a certain age. so we took him off at the request of the school. It been a bumpy ride to say the least. And still to this day he has anger issues and wants what he wants when he wants it and if he does not get it he gets angry. But with all the docs and clinics i have gone to see and tried different approaches to his "problem"  nothing have rally worked except not giving in and standing your ground. This not only helps the child realize their r boundaries that they can not cross but helps to keep your own peace of mind. What this means is not giving in when the child starts hitting and throwing this and fighting with every one around them.
I bin their and done everything u haven't tried yet.

[spiritwolf31]

Even moderate autism can be hard on a child and from my understanding, children afflicted with this lack empathy. He loves you in only a way he can, never doubt that regardless what he says or how he acts. My aunt adopted her son's son who is autistic and he fights her sometimes and he is a big 16yr old boy. It can be hard to the point she has to walk away and even then he sometimes follows to continue striking her. I remember once when she came to the house and sported a black eye from one of his rages and I felt sorry for her. We have to watch him around others but he seems to calm down and just play when I bring my sons around. Though they are much younger (7 and 5). I think his emotional level is around theirs and they interact very good. The doctor told my aunt that it may be a good idea to get him into a program during the day interacting with other children instead staying at home because with all children with or without the syndrome, they tend to get bored without interaction and it may benefit him and her. She has since gotten him into a program at the local Easter Seal in which he spends the day (even during the summer) at the building with other children and since they have punching bags, trampolines, and so much more he spends all his pent up engery (and sometimes anger) there so he rarely has tantrums at home anymore.

I hope this helps you  =)