I think the stress of being sick exhausts us both mentally and physically. I stay as active as I can even though I often don't really have the energy.
yes, I know what you mean - having the 'will' without the 'power' !
I also have thoughts - often - that this is all down to anxiety/depression - but then those are lyme symptoms. I wonder how 'we' here - were before all of this - for instance - I am/was a bit of a perfectionist [O.T.T] when it came to keeping things organised - you know having a place for everything - keeping the house neat and clean - etc;
I used to get so 'stressed' if things got too messy! - I am learning to relax a bit about it
now - I don't beat myself up - like I used to - now if I do the hoovering and don't put the hoover away - it's no big deal [except when I trip over it!!!]
When I am feeling 'heavy' - like 'wonko's' bag of concrete - I also feel like I have swollen-up - my creaking/cracking/headaches/stiffness are all intensified - enter 'anxiety' + 'fatigue'. etc, etc,....
I am not a doc. but here is some treatment: ingredients : trees/grass/only natures sounds - dog [if available] - dose : as often as needed : walk untill 'anxiety subsides' - push past the 'pain/fatigue' - gently - but push past it - feel the difference - hold that feeling - refer to it during the 'rough' times. Only good side effects - guaranteed.
in my experience I have found that the above is one of the best ways of 'treating myself' - I highly recommend it .
Perhaps I'm just going easy on myself, but I usually think of it as lassitude as opposed to laziness.
I often struggle with self-doubt and question whether some or even most (all?) of my symptoms could stem from depression or if I am over-reacting and becoming lazy.
I do deal with fatigue. I've been in a flare for about the past two weeks and have been waking up feeling exhausted and feel like I am heavy and pulling a 50 lb bag of concrete behind me. I missed a lot of work and was feeling very cranky and worthless.
Then this morning I woke up and somehow, that heaviness was gone and I knew before I even got out of bed that I was going to have a much better day. I worked out, went to work, and even did housework in the evening.
Often on my bad days, I will still have the desire to do things, but lack the energy to complete them. I'll do the laundry, but won't hang it up. Or I'll buy the groceries, but only get the perishables put away while the rest sit on the counter. While I missed some days of work this week, I often go on days even when I know I'm not going to be capable of productivity.
So sometimes I fail to complete something I've started, and sometimes I hesitate or don't do something I've planned or should do. Again, maybe I need to try harder, but I try not to call myself lazy since I do still try and truly desire to do things.
I've been sick for some time, it's been "bad" for maybe 1.5 years. I'm in my 20's (barely anymore!) and it's been a real adjustment to be limited in these ways. I'm very hopeful for a recovery that will allow me to get past these issues. In the meantime, I try to cope with the situation as best I can by trying to stay active, but accepting when I can't be.
I don't know if this addressed your concerns or just turned into my own vent! Either way, don't be too hard on yourself.
I think it does have something to do with lyme - I have to push myself to do things that used to be an enjoyment even.
and I know exactly what you mean about -'feeling rushed' - I put a lot of this down to anxiety - anxiety can drain you - it can creep into your life/mind and drain your energy.