Aa
Have you notified your families?
My friend's father died recently and we had a heck of a time finding certain paperwork. I have always been an organised person and would hate for my kids to have the stress of looking for my will, bank accounts etc. So I listed them all and printed them out and gave them the info. I have told them where my log-in book is with all my usernames and passwords etc (which is in a safe!)
I wonder if many of you have done the same? It is also important if your house burns down, tornado hits, flood, what ever, to have this certain information away from your home as well.
Cheers!
I wonder if many of you have done the same? It is also important if your house burns down, tornado hits, flood, what ever, to have this certain information away from your home as well.
Cheers!
Yeah good idea!! Thanks to you all XX
If you have 'Enduring' P.O.A then that is both financial and medical.
My sisters had that for my Dad who passed away in January this year.
Spend as much time with her as you can and find out if she has a will (usually kept at the bank in her file) or at home.
This way..the Executors can do a lot of the work that causes headaches and heartache afterwards.
My sisters had that for my Dad who passed away in January this year.
Spend as much time with her as you can and find out if she has a will (usually kept at the bank in her file) or at home.
This way..the Executors can do a lot of the work that causes headaches and heartache afterwards.
I have all that in place but i cant get the medical one they as in oncologist said that i dont need it as i have enduring POA anyway ressus is out i already know that,but i would like her to tell me about who she wants to have her treasures.We did most of it many years ago i even know the name of the coffin she wants,and every now and then she asks me the name of it and the undertaker.she has already got what she wants on the plaque as its a double plot with my dad waiting for her.
My daughter and daughter in law and me of course,have done an intercession prayer to Sister Mary McKillop have you heard of her? Well we are trying everything at this time.
My mum is still very chirpy and i joke around around with her. HEY Red whats wrong with Frankston hosptial??
My daughter and daughter in law and me of course,have done an intercession prayer to Sister Mary McKillop have you heard of her? Well we are trying everything at this time.
My mum is still very chirpy and i joke around around with her. HEY Red whats wrong with Frankston hosptial??
I'll tell you honestly, whilst she is able to still be in charge of her mental faculties, get her to sign a Medical Power of Attorney and more importantly a Financial Power of Attorney. You can get these from any bigger newsagency.
You need to say to her, Hey Mum, I was just thinking, what if you happen to fall down in the street and hit your head and be in a coma? You need to sign this so they let me make the decisions I know you would want. Then by signing the financial one, I can get your money out of the bank for you so the bills can be paid. Or words to that effect.
I have had to do the 'sneaky' like that on a few people, and believe me! When they do go, it makes life so much easier. The Medical one is very important if she does slip into a coma or she loses her mental faculties. You need to know what she wants. Like Do not Resuscitate...or Do everything you can for me...or I do not want drugs toward the end...or I hate Frankston Hospital don't put me there...( that was MY one....hee hee!)
It is something you need to ask casually over a period of days, then she won't be suspicious. My friend and I decided to do one on each other, as my family is too stupid and demanding I do things their way, and my friend has no one left in his family to make decisions. I know what he wants and he knows what I want.
Just casually say things like, You know if I was on death's door, I wouldn't like (fill in the blanks) How about you Mum? Then you write it down. Then encourage her to sign the forms.
Hope I explained it properly, if not PM me and I will try to better!
You need to say to her, Hey Mum, I was just thinking, what if you happen to fall down in the street and hit your head and be in a coma? You need to sign this so they let me make the decisions I know you would want. Then by signing the financial one, I can get your money out of the bank for you so the bills can be paid. Or words to that effect.
I have had to do the 'sneaky' like that on a few people, and believe me! When they do go, it makes life so much easier. The Medical one is very important if she does slip into a coma or she loses her mental faculties. You need to know what she wants. Like Do not Resuscitate...or Do everything you can for me...or I do not want drugs toward the end...or I hate Frankston Hospital don't put me there...( that was MY one....hee hee!)
It is something you need to ask casually over a period of days, then she won't be suspicious. My friend and I decided to do one on each other, as my family is too stupid and demanding I do things their way, and my friend has no one left in his family to make decisions. I know what he wants and he knows what I want.
Just casually say things like, You know if I was on death's door, I wouldn't like (fill in the blanks) How about you Mum? Then you write it down. Then encourage her to sign the forms.
Hope I explained it properly, if not PM me and I will try to better!
Don't ever take that hope away from her. Miracles still can and do happen and doctors aren't always right. Let her hold on to that hope. This would be a difficult subject to broach. I'm not sure the best way to do it. The only thing I can think of is to gently and calmly talk to her and say something like 'Mom, I love you and will stand with you and help you through this. We're going to pray and put all this in God's hands. But even if God does not choose to call you home right now you know we all need to make sure we have things settled and taken care of so that some day when it's needed we will have peace knowing it's been taken care of. Won't it give you peace of mind knowing it's all settled and taken care of now while you're able to do that rather than somewhere down the line and maybe not be able to do it? This is as good of a time as any to get things taken care of so that we won't have to worry about it further down the road."
I don't know, that was just off the top of my head. It would probably be a good idea to get advice from a few people, a pastor, family members, hospice even. Hospice is a good one. They help the families so much. I'm not sure if I was much help. I'm sorry you're mom is not doing well. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.
I don't know, that was just off the top of my head. It would probably be a good idea to get advice from a few people, a pastor, family members, hospice even. Hospice is a good one. They help the families so much. I'm not sure if I was much help. I'm sorry you're mom is not doing well. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.
Cant cope with stuff at the moment but i know it has to be done and soon, the oncologist said that my mum has approx 3months.I havent got the guts to ask her what she wants to do as she the doc isnt going to give her the bad news till she starts asking questions.She think she is going to get better and its breaking my heart when i know different.
Any suggestions??
Any suggestions??
My aunt was like that, but then she knew she was dying. She made sure she had everything in order, made her peace with God, picked out what she wanted at her memorial, songs, etc. It does make it so much easier for the families and they have the comfort of knowing they abided by their loved one's wishes.
My grandma also had an easy way of taking care of things before she died. She didn't want anyone fighting over her stuff so she asked people before she died what they'd like and wrote it down. She also would put our names on every gift we bought her so that we'd get it back after she died. Once I bought her a little stuffed mouse when she was in the hospital and she promptly wrote my name on the bottom of it. Of course I rolled my eyes and exclaimed "Grandma! I bought the mouse for YOU!" Lol. She was such a character, my grandma. :)
My grandma also had an easy way of taking care of things before she died. She didn't want anyone fighting over her stuff so she asked people before she died what they'd like and wrote it down. She also would put our names on every gift we bought her so that we'd get it back after she died. Once I bought her a little stuffed mouse when she was in the hospital and she promptly wrote my name on the bottom of it. Of course I rolled my eyes and exclaimed "Grandma! I bought the mouse for YOU!" Lol. She was such a character, my grandma. :)
Great Great Aunt Swampcritter actually planned her own funeral when she was 90. She wrote instructions with what songs she wanted sung and what Bible verses she wanted read.
When she did die, Swampy's family just gave her little book to the minister. It was a simply service but it really came from her.
When she did die, Swampy's family just gave her little book to the minister. It was a simply service but it really came from her.
Me and my DH have discussed this numerous times but we have yet to sit down and organize everything. I need to get him and myself on the ball and get everything organized.
It's a very good idea to have a will too. I know we don't like to think about that, especially when we're young but let me give you a good idea why.
Several years ago some friends of mine were in a terrible car crash. They were 25 and 26 years old. They're two little girls were in the car in car seats and only suffered minor injuries. My friends were killed at the scene. They had no will. It was a terrible time. Their parents flew out and a good friend kept the kids until the grandparents could get there. Since they had no will they had to decide what to do with the kids. I believe his sister wanted the kids but the kids wound up going back to be with the grandparents.
The whole thing was so sad. We never want to think something like that could happen, especially when we're young but I think once you have children you should make up a will to decide who you want to raise your children. It's so important once we have children to do this. It's not morbid. It doesn't mean we think we're going to die any time soon, it's just being careful and being prepared, just in case.
Several years ago some friends of mine were in a terrible car crash. They were 25 and 26 years old. They're two little girls were in the car in car seats and only suffered minor injuries. My friends were killed at the scene. They had no will. It was a terrible time. Their parents flew out and a good friend kept the kids until the grandparents could get there. Since they had no will they had to decide what to do with the kids. I believe his sister wanted the kids but the kids wound up going back to be with the grandparents.
The whole thing was so sad. We never want to think something like that could happen, especially when we're young but I think once you have children you should make up a will to decide who you want to raise your children. It's so important once we have children to do this. It's not morbid. It doesn't mean we think we're going to die any time soon, it's just being careful and being prepared, just in case.
Swampy thinks, although this is a morbid topic, that everyone should have a "death book". It includes all the immediate information: who to call in what order, in Swampy's case, how to keep the house (where, for instance, is the spare mailbox key. What bills are paid online? etc), and other details.
I dont know where anything is ?? Maybe i ought to get organized !!
redhead...you raise an excellent point. I have most of my important documents in a safety deposit box (vehicle ownership; deeds; birth certificate; passport). However, much of my private/ personal information... i.e. user names; passwords; account numbers and the like are stored in my computer files. So, (God forbid) if my house were to burn down, crumble from an earthquake or if something were to happen to me... this info couldn't be accessed.
I'm going to print it now... and include it with my safety deposit box items.
Thanks for the insights.
I'm going to print it now... and include it with my safety deposit box items.
Thanks for the insights.
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