43 year old male; sudden and total loss of libido

[Lonestar71]

Good afternoon all and happy Monday!

I'm a 43 year white male. 6'1" 196lbs. In decent shape and work out 3x a week. I am a smoker (legal stuff) and enjoy bourbon 3-4x a week in moderation. I've been divorced for almost a year from a 19 year marriage and actively dating. During my divorce I usually masturbated daily and actually got horny daily with little or no effort.

Something happened this past February (2015). I literally woke up with no sex drive. I haven't watched porn nor masturbated since March.  I simply have no drive or desire. I'm currently dating an attractive woman and we are sexually active however it's "not the same". It's not an ED problem. I still have morning wood and can perform. It's like everything has changed. Even my fetish no longer works. I have scoured the Internet with no luck. Tried several supplements....etc.. Went to my doctor (of 17 years) and he gave a script for Viagra! Huh? Told me to work out more often!

Yes, I have a stressful job and I don't get enough sleep but this has been my MO since coming out of college. I'm guessing LOW-T? I'm going for a full physical in two weeks (it's my annual thing) that will include a T test.

Any thoughts or suggestions? Thanks for your time and God bless.

TJ

[ScalpMassager]

If a TRT trial has promising results you could see it as motivation to boost your testosterone naturally, through losing weight [your present BMI's 25.9, just into the overweight category unless your waistline's quite trim at say around 34-36"], and increasing muscle mass through resistance exercise.   Weight loss plus muscle gain should also be heart healthy.  

I think now is an excellent time for you to take a supervised stress test (treadmill workout hooked up to an ECG), to get a sense of just how heart healthy you are.  A good indicator of your risk level for sudden cardiac death is your heart recovery rate (your heart rate drop one, and two minutes after high exertion), so I urge you to ask about that if you're taking a stress test.

[AndRynne]

Never mind a T test. It will tell you nothing. Instead take a trial of Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT) and see what happens. That's the only way.

[YardBull]

Since you are gaining erections and ED is not your problem, I therefore suggest you avoid all ED drugs and supplements.  I advise you to stop smoking to avoid any negative future health outcomes even beyond your current problem.   Try to change your sleeping habits for the better, since that is the time our bodies heal.   Here again, this would be for your overall health.  Anything you could do to lower your stress would also be beneficial.  Your checkup with your doctor is worthwhile, and you might discuss this problem with him at that time.  It's possible that you may be experiencing some mild depression due to events of the past year.  Obviously, this is not a diagnosis, but just something to ask your doctor about.    

[ScalpMassager]

Our brains are the biggest sexual organ.  If something's off balance in our minds or moods, our libido can plummet to rockbottom.

I'm suspecting, considering the timing, that the divorce following a 19 year marriage was more unsettling than you realized.  You're also under fairly high stress and not following the healthiest of lifestyles.  My suggestion is to take more 'you' time, cut back on self-indulgences, and try to re-awaken the earlier, easy-going you.

Whatever works at calming anxiety, may prove helpful to you imo.  And you may find at this point in your life (if your heart's up for using them safely) that a lower dose of erectile dysfunction drugs can make up the difference until you're fully back on your emotional feet.