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I need a solution soon

I really need some help. Me and my gurlfriend have been dating for past 2 and half years and we both are 17 year olds.. we have made out for a lot of time and it’s time we do the real thing. I wanna have sex with her within another 6 months or 8 months but the problem is I *** too fast and end up soon even before foreplay. I don’t want to disappoint her. Please tell me what I can do? I’m 17 and is it necessary for me to take pills to have stability or is there something else I can do.. please give me a solution. I wanna have sex for atleast of 15 mins.. please help
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134578 tn?1642048000
Well, sweetheart, it's nice that you want to give her a satisfying time. Is she on board with the "it's time we do the real thing ...  I wanna have sex with her within another 6 months or 8 months" plan? Or has this been sort of unilaterally decided by you? My first suggestion would be to talk with your girlfriend about the plan, or you might find yourself having sex in 6 months or 8 months with thin air. The check needs both signatures, as my now-husband once said to me. (One of the reasons he is now my husband. A considerate guy.) The reason I mention this is that you didn't say "We have talked about it and we agree that we should be having sex in 6 to 8 months."

You're a teenager and obviously hormones are pretty much in the driver's seat. It isn't too surprising that you come fast. I assume when you are making out, you don't bother with a condom? You might be surprised how much longer wearing one will make you last. And of course in the I wanna have sex with her within another 6 months or 8 months plan, you and your girlfriend intend to use condoms along with her being on some other form of birth control when having sex, right? (Riiighhht?) My friend Wayne, who paid child support every month from age 17 to 38, would be glad to explain to you the importance of birth control. As would my friend Olivia, who got herpes from her first sexual experience.

Anyway, it is quite possible that merely wearing a condom will take the pressure off in both physical and psychological ways. If that does not do the trick, you could try masturbating prior to having sex (but you do have to be ultra careful about your condom and her birth-control if you have sperm in your urethra when you enter her vagina). Get some sex education about when and under what circumstances pre-ejaculatory fluid can carry sperm, and get some education about STDs, and think deeply about what it means to be a gentleman around sexual issues with your girlfriend. No bragging, no strutting, no pressuring her, and absolutely no unsafe sex. If you get tired of the relationship after having been sexual for a while, let her know and let her go, do not continue to sleep with her as a booty call. Basically, put her concerns as high as yours, and her first concern has to be preventing pregnancy. In short, treat her properly. This is your chance to learn to be a good boyfriend in a relationship that is quite grown up. Lessons practiced now will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life, and if you learn well, all your future partners will love you.

ps -- 15 minutes is not usually necessary, you can let go of the reins once she has had an orgasm or two.
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4 Comments
THank you very much for replying. Yes having sex is not just my decision. We both have talked about it and we are just waiting for a perfect time. And I want to be prepared by then.

I’m a no supporter of unprotected sex Cz I’ve been reading articles of it. I’m wondering if it’s ok if I only had had the condom and she had no birth control? Could you  please tell me more?
You might look up some of the education-oriented (not porno-oriented) websites designed to help teenagers understand birth control and sexuality. It used to be that one could go take a class at Planned Parenthood, and it would not surprise me at all if Planned Parenthood has good webpages with information. Be sure to look for any lists of myths kids believe about sex. (No," pulling out" does not work as contraception. No, having sex standing up doesn't work as contraception. No, the woman running to the bathroom and peeing after sex doesn't work. Etc.)

It is said that condoms are only 80% to 85% effective. This means you would have a 15% chance over time of getting your girlfriend pregnant if you went with condom use only. It is possible to use condoms with the lady using a contraceptive foam or sponge, the odds improve when both things are used at once. But these are again things you should look up from a site that has up-to-date information. Condoms are important (not just to prevent pregnancy) for you -- if you are going to be a sexually active male, you should be concerned about STDs, herpes, not spreading HPV (have you had your shot) and genital warts. A barrier like a condom is the way to protect yourself from those as well as from suddenly finding out that you are going to be a father.

If your girlfriend does not think she can get on the pill or get an IUD, she might have to wait until she is 18 and then go to Planned Parenthood or her family doctor. Both of you should care a lot about this. Condoms alone are historically not enough.

Your girlfriend can do what she wants at 18, since she is then legally an adult. And I am quite sure her doctor is prohibited from telling her parents what he or she prescribes.

Finally, I do really mean it that the way you go about this, with as much consideration for your partner as for your own desires, will set the pattern for a happy sex life as an adult or not for you. We all know guys who are scornful or borderline insulting to the women they are involved with. There should be no such guys in the world. You will do great if you are not one of them.

Take care,

Annie
Thanks a lot Annie.. I never knew I had so much to take care of before sex.. yes I’ve had my shot and yea I’ll check the websites for much more information.

I think I’ll wait for some more time and we both get prepared and do it. I don’t want much risk in life. And yea I’ll talk to my girlfriend today about all this.

I just want to please my girlfriend as she wants and as she enjoys and will never force her into anything..

Once again thanks a lot Annie

Nivedan
You're miles ahead of other guys your age just by asking. Take care.
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