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My Boyfriend Watches Gay Crossdressing Porn?

Okay, so I know snooping is wrong and I don't agree with it but with my kind of background in relationships I almost feel a need to do so. Anyway, I know my boyfriend masturbates all the time, I do too that's not an issue, but my concerns are that he watches Gay Crossdressing porn and that's the only kind of porn he watches and it's the only kind that will get him off. I also found that he has problems staying hard with me when we make love. He told me that he had issues with it to begin with when we first started dating and that he felt he needed to be in love with a person before he could have sex with them. We've had sex on several occasions without much of an issue so I know he finds me attractive. He has had experiences before where he has had or tried to have sex with a transgender or transsexual person but according to him only the first time he could finish, all the other times he couldn't get aroused. Every time I bring up something he thinks is "gay" like me hugging him from behind when we're laying in bed together, or pinching him near the bottom part of his butt (in a playful manner I'm not really into that kind of thing) he gets all defensive-like and says he's not gay or that's gay or it feels gay. Which i don't understand because I'm obviously not a dude except in partial mentality. I'm concerned that he isn't being true to himself, or that maybe he hasn't done enough self exploration for him to know if he were attracted to men who dress like women. From his experiences it sounds like he hasn't really delved into that part since transgender/transsexual and crossdresser are two different things. The reason I have concern for this is because my porn habits tend to go hand in hand with what I like, I know I am Bisexual and my porn habits tend to lean towards guys masturbating, shemales, and lesbians which goes along with me liking when guys send me videos. There will be the occasional thing where I like to watch it but i don't like it in actual sex but a good amount of it is directly related. So If he can only get off to crossdressing porn maybe he's not just into women? When I talked to him about something he thought was gay, he told me to let him know if i thought he was gay so we could just end things right then. But it wasn't that I thought he was gay, so much as I feel like maybe he likes women but maybe he also likes guys who dress up as women. So I guess my question is, can guys be completely straight and still watch gay porn?
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Avatar universal
Girl!!!!!! I'm an emotional freaked out disaster! It almost like I wrote this myself.  I need your info
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1 Comments
It's possible that the original poster won't see your request, since her post is from 5 years ago. Also, people on MedHelp rarely share any 'info', with the exception that some people will be willing to carry on the conversation by personal message if things feel like they can't be said in the public arena.

If she writes back, that will be nice of her, it sounds like you will find it helpful if you are an emotional freaked-out disaster over this same issue in your own life. But if she doesn't, it wouldn't be a surprise because a lot of posters do post once and then move on with their life.

Please try to put into your processing of the information in your mind about your partner that if he is conflicted about his taste in porn, it's up to him to figure out what it means, and that's where you should throw your support. As I said above, he might be straight and like gay porn or he might be gay or he might be bi or he might be something else. The question is what it means in terms of his own peace of mind and understanding of himself, and then in terms of what relationship with you he wants.

The poster's boyfriend above sounded *very* conflicted about the possibility that he was gay. If I had been his girlfriend, that I would encourage him to get counseling about the conflictedness, not the taste in porn. You could tell she was going that direction too, she didn't seem to care as much if he was or wasn't, as she did that he was so incredibly jumpy about the possibility. Guys now in their 20s aren't as frightened of gay or maybe being gay as they were a generation or two ago, in those days someone would stay closeted out for life out of fear. But some guys even now were still raised to think it would be almost the end of the world if they realized they were gay. It sounded like her boyfriend was in that boat.

If rhis situation is what you are dealing with, and your boyfriend refuses to consider what his sexual identity is (as I suggested, with counseling, or just talking with you), you also do have the option of ending it. Anyone in a relationship that makes them an emotional freaked-out disaster has every right to stop being there. I will suggest, though, that if the problem is you think there would be no life together if he does finally decide he's gay, you might reserve that decision for a bit while he decides. Some gay men marry women and are happy with that, or, maybe he's a straight guy who just likes gay cross-dressing porn. You won't know until he figures it out.

Good luck.
Avatar universal
A heterosexual person is attracted to people of the opposite sex. Boys who like girls and women who like men are heterosexual. Being heterosexual has long been considered "normal" in our society. When you think of a married couple or parents, it's usually been a man and woman — in other words, a heterosexual couple.That in my opinion is related to ur bf's case
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134578 tn?1693250592
Probably.  But that does not mean anything about your friend.  He might be straight and like gay porn and he might be gay and he might be bi and he might be something else.  It's really up to him to figure it out, not up to you to analyze unless you're asking because you think you should leave the relationship because of it.  If you like the relationship, stay, but keep your eye on whether or not he is really that into it.
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