Avatar universal

Sex question - partner is transgender

I have started to date a transexual.  We are getting ready to take things to the next level.  Will see have difficulty in achieving an erection?  We have discussed this and we want to be intimate.  We both agreed that we want to have intercourse with her penetrating me.  
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127596 tn?1210922622
Hi, GGHJ! This sounds great! If you two are both ready, I’m sure it will be a beautiful and memorable experience. Are you nervous? Did you have a question? If there’s any erectile disfunction, you can simply address it on the spot (if it even happens at all). If you two love each other and you both want the same thing, whatever happens will occur with love and support. I wish you both the best of luck - I hope your next level is everything you imagined and more.
Helpful - 2
I am a little nervous.  I do have some questions.  I notice I misspelled "she" (I spelled it 'see').  Our concern is will she have difficulty in achieving and erection and will she be bale to ejaculate?  We are really looking for to having this happen.  
You haven't completely explained why you're concerned.  You say "she" so I can only assume you're talking about someone who has decided to identify as a woman but still has male genitalia.  If that's what you're saying, if she has taken or is taking female hormones, yeah, there could be a problem there.  But wouldn't she know this?  The other issue is, the more concerned someone is about having an erection the more the mind can get involved and cause problems.  Assuming the mind is fine and the body still male and not transforming to a female body, again if I get you right, it should work.  But those are two ifs you'll only find out by asking her all the details and the mind goes along with the desire.  You'll only truly find out when you try.  Peace.
First of all, I want to thank-you for the responses.

Yesterday, the last day 0f 2021 was a special day.  

My girlfriend and talked about her, our relationship, and me.  I told her that I had grown up as a male and had lived in the hetero world.  I also told her about my disastrous marriage.  I spoke of how my ex-wife had used me and treated me.  After we split I stayed single for a long time.  Occasionally I would have a date, nothing that would be called steady until I started to go with her.

She told me about herself.  As a child she had been raised as a boy because she had a penis.  It wasn’t until she was about 12 when she started to grow breasts and started to feel inside that she was a girl.  She said her parents had split and she was with her mother.  They had moved far away from where she had spent her early years.  She talked to her mother about the feelings she had and her mother said that if she wanted to be a girl that would be all right.  So for many years she was a girl.  Still she had a reminder of being a boy, her penis.

She said she never dated for fear of “being found out.”  The when she went to college she dated but soon college was over.  She had told very few people about her “situation.”  As the years went on, she just went about being the person that made her feel most at ease.  She said that even though she had a penis, she identified as a woman.  She had never thought about transitioning.  She was happy with her body.

Fast forward to when we met.  When I first saw her, I said to myself, this is someone I would like to date.  She had stunning looks and so much more.  So I asked her out.  She said yes.  We found we had a lot of common interests.  About a month after started dating she told me about being transgender.  This was all new to me, I knew little about this, so I asked her to educate me as best she could.   It didn’t bother me that she was transgender, no one knew anyway.  My friends said we made a good looking couple.  (I think many were happy that I was seeing some one.)  

After we talked yesterday, I told how much I loved her and wanted to be with her.  As I said in my first post, we wanted to be intimate.  So we had a nice, quiet New Year’s Eve.  It was getting late, so instead of watching “the ball drop” we went to bed.
We snuggled and kissed for a while and then we decided to make love.  My concern about her ability to have an erection proved to be unfounded.  Much to my surprise, I discovered that her penis was actually bigger than mine.  I am totally okay with that.  I recognize we are all different.  It was also first for me as I had never touched another penis before.  I have to say that making love with her was so wonderful.   I love that we can be open and honest with each other.  Something I didn’t have in my marriage.  
20620809 tn?1504362969
Why do you think she will have trouble having an erection?  If she is aroused she will. However, if she has medical reason for why she may not, that must be considered. Does she have erection problems in general? It's hard to talk about sometimes but you two seem good at conversation so talk about it. If she is taking hormones to feminize herself, that should be considered.  https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/feminizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385096.  (copy/paste that link).  They usually block testosterone and add estrogen.  A fix for that are the ED drugs such as viagra, cialis, etc. Your friend can talk to her doctor about that.  Enjoy. Life is short, live happy.
Helpful - 1
Guitar, just curious, as I have ED but I think it's from having prostate surgery a few years ago.  Been off and on since and now mostly off.  But I'm curious about Viagra and such.  If I understand them, they only affect nitic acid which opens the blood vessels and allows blood flow.  The don't affect testosterone, as far as I know, so would they be of any use in someone who has suppressed their testosterone?  That's not a blood problem, that's a hormone problem, or not a problem as if she is taking female hormones she doesn't want to have male expression anymore.  Just asking, because I've been reluctant to take viagra because I do get spontaneous erections when I'd rather be sleeping as they wake me up and push on what the surgery didn't fix and they can last a long time but I don't get them during sex.  Which makes me worry about the actual cause of the problem and that 4 hour erection thing!  
Avatar universal
It has been a while, so here is an update.  We (my girlfriend and I) got married.  Our love life could not be better.  My worries about her a ability to have an erection where unfounded.  In fact, it turns out her penis is bigger than mine.  A further plus is that she is able to ejaculate.    We could be happier!
Helpful - 0
great. congratulations
Well, that's a lovely story. Congrats! :)
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