Depression is taking over my life....

[worriedfiancee]

My depression has gotten worse over the last 8 months and I have been a few different medications but I don't think its working. The things that I have been going thru have destroyed me more than I ever thought possible. I can't function a full day at work without crying, I have these thoughts in my mind and I cry more just thinking about them, I am sooooooo lonely inside and my husband doesn't see that I am hurting. Most of what I am going thru is because of my husband, my kids and my mother the closest people in the world to me. I feel like I am going to break and I can't do it anymore. I need help........I just want someone to listen and talk too. I can't do this anymore.....is there anyone out there who cares? I feel so helpless today, I feel like I am in another world. Thanks

[Nighthawk61]

I'm glad that I recognized your name from a post on the Substance Abuse forum because I think that your husband's addiction may have alot to do with your depression. Let me ask you, have you gotten to Alanon or Narcanon for yourself. You say that you haven't gone to your own doctor to manage your own meds, so I doubt you have taken the time out to learn what alanon can teach you, about looking after yourself. The thing is this, you're a mother, and that has to trump being a wife. You need to learn how to let your husband's problems be his own, and worry about your own life. That is, your kids. They are too young to fend for themselves and they need you to be strong. In other words, you don't really have the luxury of not making time for yourself. You've said that you need to talk, and be listened to, and I appreciate that, that's what we're here for, but you need tools to cope with what's going on in your marriage, with your kids and your mother, right? Nothing changes if nothing changes.

I'm sure if you speak of the specific details of your problems concerning your marriage kids and mother you will get alot of support here. Sometimes it only takes one or two good people to converse with through private messaging to make a person feel supported, but ultimately there are other things that you need to do to change your situation. You see? You are your own worst enemy, moreso than anyone else, if you refuse to spend the time doing the things that you need to do to get feeling better.

You need to spend some time exercising, for stress relief. You need a personal hobby, mine is Pyrography (wood burning/carving). You need girlfriends to work out with maybe, or have lunch. You need a therapist, to talk about the things that are happening that are out of your control, and you need to check out Alanon so that your husband's problems remain his, and not yours. I hope that you are not offended by my tact, but it's important for you to accept that just like your husband needs outside help with his addiction, so do you, for your problems. Taking a magic pill can never take the place of a good therapist. IMO they should almost always go hand in hand. I hope that this has helped. I'm here if you need to talk. Liz

[Bubulous]

I'm back...

Sorry I have been gone so long.  If you want to fill me in I will be on here nearly everyday.  Send me a message with as much or as little as you want to share, missed you.

Larry

[Sfx95901]

You need to have your depression managed by a good psychiatrist, it sounds like this is beyond what a GP would want to tackle.  You need to make the time, if you feel not for you, then for your family.  This can and will get better, there is hope, but you need to start taking control and make those first steps so that others can help you the rest of the way.

[worriedfiancee]

Thank you for responding back to me. I haven't been back to the doctor because I am so consumed by my problems that I am not making any time for me. I feel like my world is crumbling around me and I don't know what to do. I am not a big pill person and its hard for me to take meds like that. I want to be strong but I don't know how to do that.

[4Maddie44]

We on the depression site are here to listen to you.  We all have depression so understand what you are going through.  Have you been back to doctor to change your anti-depressant medication?  Some work for some people and not for others.  I have been on many different ones, and some worked, and some gave me side effects.  It does take time to find the right one for you.

I am so sorry you are hurting so much.  I myself, and other people here will listen to you, of course we will.  We will support you all we can.  I was in a really bad place when I first came here, and found so much comfort.