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Avatar universal

Is this normal or am i just crazy

My situation isnt as serious, i didnt know where to ask. Here is a little back story; I had battled depression and suicidal thoughts for atleast 3 years in the past since i was 15 and i am now 18, and now free of depression, i beat it all on my own, but the way i beat it was the motivation to be better version of myself, in this world no one is getting give a damn about a guy who is depressed, well in my case thats how i thought, so as a guy i tough myself up and keep motivating myself to the point where i cant be sad or depressed for too long, so here is what im wondering, its been happening for a while and i was wondering if this is normal. I have a bad acne, i looked in the mirror today and i hated myself for about 2 mins and my brain fight it off like it was nothing and im back to being motivated to wash my face again or recently i online dated a girl for 8 months, and we broke it off i felt sad but my brain didnt allow me to be sad or depressed!! It just told me "dont dwell on it, work on yourself and be better", i just want a day to feel depressed or sad but my brain wont allow it... is this normal? I can name a few more but this is just an example of how my thoughts and brain works now. 2019 - present day
2 Responses
Avatar universal
First, sadness and depression aren't the same thing.  Everyone gets sad, everyone suffers grief, not everyone suffers chronic unexplained darkness, which is depression.  Suicidal thoughts are a lot more severe than sadness.  Neither is pleasant, but they are different.  As for the two examples you mentioned, neither is all that important to you, is probably the answer.  It sounds like you either kept yourself so busy you couldn't be depressed because you had no time in your life for it -- I did that once myself, by going to graduate school -- and I think for most people if you just communicate with someone online and never meet and are never intimate, it's not really that close a relationship.  Obviously, some people do really bond online, but I still think that for the vast majority of us if we never actually meet someone and spend a lot of actual physical close time with them, they were more of an idea than a concrete relationship.  That doesn't mean corresponding with someone, which is what you were doing, they used to do it with letters but now we do it online, isn't a relationship, it is, and it can be close, but I'd say, if you meet an actual human on the physical plane and you get close and it ends and you feel nothing, then it might be time to worry.  When people go overboard on not caring at all about others, it can be a mental disorder, but so far that's not what you're describing.  So I'd ask, has anything bad happened to someone you actually know personally in your life, such as in your family, and you didn't care at all about that?  
973741 tn?1342342773
Wow, I'm actually impressed!  You've found a way to self talk and use grit and determination along with resilience to overcome things.  I think, really, that is fantastic.  What you'd want to make sure is that you aren't just burying deep feelings that will eventually catch up to you and you'll crash emotionally. But it doesn't sound like that is the case.  You have found a way to work yourself out of that as bad feelings come up.  But if there ever is something that routinely is bothering you (such as the break up, a major disappointment, etc.) then talking about it with someone is a good idea. That can be a therapist, a trusted confidant or even just yourself in a journal.  To me though, it sounds like you have a bad feeling (sad feeling) and acknowledge it, feel it briefly and then move on to more productive things.  That's really a pretty awesome strategy.   I personally don't think you are saying you don't care but that you care and are just not going to let it drag you down.  This is strength.  
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