Regret over childhood sexual play

[hello_334]

When I was 9 I was shown a porn website by a friend, we both went through the videos confused and curious.
A couple weeks later me and my cousin, who was 6 were having a play date. Nothing was planned but I remember we saw this porn video of a woman receiving oral. For some ******* reason we decided we would act it out.
We dressed up like the girls in the video and tried it. Also started playing a movie to watch after. I remeber we used cling wrap to cover our privates because we didn’t want to touch them. Didn’t last long and I felt sick to my stomach afterwards. I didn’t know why I felt bad but I realised what we had done was wrong & told my parents.
I think about it often and I can become physically sick thinking about it. It never happens again, even though my cousin tried to. Life moved on and it’s been over a decade but sometimes i remeber it and feel unwell…