What would help?

[anonymous0796]

Hello, I myself have been through depression, and have ended up getting over the majority of it by myself, because I realise that it is all about you and how how your brain works. I do also realise depression changes between each person and that each person see's depression differently, and feels it differently. My question is, I have a best friend who is suffering quite badly at the moment with depression - I try to help her and explain, but she never seems to understand and pushes me away. It almost feels to me as if she doesn't want to get better? I Would like to know, what people from the outside think I should do, and how I should get her to open up to me? would be very helpful. Thank you x

[ajduck]

Hi!

I would think back to your depression and think how you felt and did you always want to talk about. Or sometimes, just feel that you couldn't get your feeling out there to where someone would understand. One of best things you can do, is just continue to tell her that you are there for her, even if she just wants to cry on your shoulder. She may need professional help or she may need a combination of things. Everyone handles things different. One of the things that helped me was writing it down in a journal. That was the only time I wrote in a journal and now when i think back on it or have read what I had wrote, I realize what I was feeling wasn't always rational or as important as what I thought at the time. It has helped me now, when I start feeling down and get better perspective on life. One of the biggest things that has made huge difference in my life is finding Faith in God. I am not saying be a Christian is going to make everything perfect and you never feel down. We are human, we don't always let God help us. He will help us find that inner peace we need, if we let him. We have raised our daughter in Church and she is depressed at the age of 14. We have started her counseling and she is opening up to him. sometime, we need that stranger to listen and be totaling focused on you. We know it will take us to be understanding and listening too and letting her know we are always there. Let her know she has many options of getting help and you are there for her through it all.   AJ

[evewisewoman]

Hi anonymous,

You probably know there are what I refer to as degrees of depression.
Some people can get through depression by themselves, like you did.
However, some people, myself included, needed help to recover
from depression. Yes, I would agree. Each person experiences depression
differently and feels it differently although most people who are depressed
experience common symptoms to one degree or another. You say your
best friend is suffering through a depression and you're trying to help her.
You feel like she is pushing you away. It seems like she doesn't understand. I don't know if you ever experienced this. But I do.
When you're going through a depression, for lack of better wording,
you're not thinking straight. I had great difficulty focusing. I felt paranoid
which is also a common symptom of people going through a depression.
When you're in a depression, your mind is like it's in a fog. I had trouble
following a conversation, keeping even simple directions straight in my
mind. I'm sure your best friend wants to get better. Okay, has your best
friend made an appointment to see her family doctor yet? If she hasn't,
she should see her family doctor. Perhaps your friend could benefit
from some kind of medication, an antidepressant comes to mind.
Wellbutrin is a good choice of medication as it has the least number of
side effects. Although you're trying to help your friend feel better, cheer
her up etc., it sounds to me like your friend would benefit from talk therapy
either one on one counselling. There is also something called group
talk therapy. When I was going through my depression, I choose to do
group therapy. It seemed less threatening than one on one with a counsellor. In the group therapy in which I participated, every one in our
group was going through a depression and we had a terrific counsellor
who guided the group through the sessions and it was a very positive
experience. I hope these suggestions are helpful. Trust me. Your friend
want to get better but she needs professional help from her family doctor
and possibly a group therapy approach. I wish you both luck and healing.
Eve