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Missed Miscariage, what caused it?

I went for my 3 month scan yesterday and found that my baby had died at 7 weeks gestation.  My boyfirend and I are devistated.  We are planning on trying again but I am a little afraid of going through this again.

I have been under a tremendous ammount of stress and I am just wondering that caused my baby to die.

What causes missed misscariages?  Does anybody know?  I just need to have a better understanding of why my baby didn't stand a chance and maybe when my boyfriend and I do try again, I can try to do things better.
18 Responses
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589816 tn?1332976771
I don't think I went a minute without crying for over a week. My poor DH didn't even know what to do. Everytime I did anything and I mean anything I was crying... That is okay though. I know you don't believe that it will get easier right now I know I didn't. You are going to be grieving for a long time and that is the only way to feel better. So cry, scream, hit some pillows...do whatever makes you feel better..You are in my thoughts..
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Avatar universal
Well, I went in yesterday morning for the D and C.  I feel crampy but all I have done since yesterday between the D and C and going home is cry.  I just can't stop it.  I feel empty and cheated that went through the early stage of pregnancy for nothing.  It's the worst feeling ever.  I wish I could have changed things, I fought the general anestetic, I just can't cope.  I don't know what is happening, it's like they tore something away from me and I can't get that feeling back since I found out my baby had died on friday.  I feel really confused and moody too.  

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Avatar universal
Just hang in there and take one day at a time.  That is all we really can do.
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Avatar universal
I think it is a little too soon for me to try again but my boyfirend and I do want to.  I think this loss has really made us see what is important in our lives right now.  I know that this can't be changed and I am trying to deal with it in the only way I can.  I have had a lot of bad luck recently and I hope that after this year is through, I can feel confident enough to try again.
I have already cut out caffine and I am attempting to quit smoking again.  I just started on friday when we got the bad news.  Theres just one thing after another.  
I just don't know what else I can do for myself at the moment.  I really don't know how to thank you people enough.
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182926 tn?1273012392
my dr just told me that prior to 12 weeks it is almost always chromosomal or genetic..  if this is your first then I would go with the first.  I also had one of these and it took me by surprise..  but the baby had stopped growing 4 weeks prior..  I went on to have a healthy baby boy..  good luck..  its worth the heartache.  believe me I've lost 4 and have 4
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Avatar universal
Sometimes it's just easier for us to vent our frustrations to our anonymous friends here in this forum.  I have very few close friends, none of whom have had a m/c.  While my DH did as well as he could, we have yet to really talk about what happened.  He tries, but he just can't understand how a bond can be formed so quickly.  Also, he wasn't at either of my u/s, so he never heard the heartbeat.  He is being a real trooper by taking all the vitamins that I ask him to, so I know that is his way of showing support and that he really wants a baby.  It's perfectly ok to be sad and to cry and to mourn your loss.  But I promise, it does get easier as the days go by.  You will never forget but eventually the wound on your heart will get less raw.  I wish you the best of luck and if you decide to TTC again, we are right here for you!!
ps - if you do decide to TTC again, make sure you stay on your prenatals and are getting at least 800mg of folic acid.
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589816 tn?1332976771
Don't ever forget that you are not alone..After my m/c I never felt so alone in my life! I really don't know what I would have done before the internet because all of the ladies I talked to lifted me up out of the hole I was in. I didn't want to go anywhere to talk to anyone and it seemed like everyone in the world was pregnant but me. Both of my best friends were also pregnant and as much as they wanted to comfort me it didn't really help. Before my m/c I had no clue that it happened so much. It is such a tragedy and I know right now it seems like the pain will never stop, but I promise it does get easier. The pain will start to fade and you will still have some sad days but you will rise above it.
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Avatar universal
It's getting up to the day where I have to go in.  I hate the waiting.  It's like I can't move on until this is over.  It is just the thought of my baby still being in there, it is hard for me to cope at the moment, I have been unable to see anyone and talking on the phone to my friends and family just gets harder as the days go on.
My boyfriend isn't taking it too well and I just don't know how to support him.  He has been great with me and I feel a little selfish for shutting out the world and him.
I am just terrified that I will start bleeding before the D and C.  I have already lost my baby, I don't really want to go through having to pass it while I am awake and aware of what is happening if you know what I mean.
I have been unable to talk to anyone about what is going on because all I do is well up and become uneasy talking about it so you lot have given me the support that I need.  I thank you all for posting here and reitterating the painful experiences you have had or are going through, it means a lot to me and I kind of feel a little bad for you all, it is so hard for me to express how I am feeling and I can imagine how you are feeling.
I have tried to get a better understanding of what has happened but I doubt that I will ever really know exactly but you have helped me think about my future and made me realise that I am not alone.  
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Avatar universal
I would like to say i am so sorry for your loss for i to had a missed m/c at 10 weeks and 1 day, i was suppose to b 10w and 3 days, i no my body very well and just new something was wrong 2 days later and went to er to get a u/s and it showed baby died 2 days ago so i no how you feel. My ob told me same thing, MOST likely it was chromosonal, but if you have another m/c i will do a blood test on the remains to really see what the specific cause was.  Im also going in to my Primary Care Physcian this month to have blood drawn to check for blood clotting disorders.  My m/c was in june and i have been currently ttc since then and not preggo yet. I had a d&c after waiting a week to see if it would pass naturally but after a week i didnt want to wait any longer.

Most dr's tell you its chromosonal, but you dont no for sure unless you got a blood test on the remains of the baby. Like leighan said, it could be chromosonal or YOU could have a blood clotting disorder. Most ob dr's dont like to do m/c test unless you have had 3-4 m/c's which i think is unfair, bcuz if you have a blood clotting disorder that is an easy test to check for.
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342988 tn?1299782356
again i am so sorry, like you, i know the pain and do not ever want anyone to feel it.  it wasnothing you did and nothing you could do to prevent it.

the d and c is pretty fast.  the prepping and the aftercare wait room take the longest.  they will put you out and within 20-30 minutes wake you back up.  you will feel some cramping afterwards.  they will give you some heavy pain meds in your IV and send you home with some for a few days plus motrin and usually an anti-bitoic.  you may bleed or spot for a few days also.  i only spotted but some women have period like bleeding.  your doctor might have you come back in 2 weeks to do a check up and to check your hcg levels to make sure they are going down and that he/she did not miss anything.  the doctor will tell you, and each doctor varies, to wait between 1-3 months to try again because with the d and c, it makes your uterus lining very thin and you want to have at least a couple healthy periods to make sure you have a thick lining for a baby to attach and feed off of.  you will need like 2 days off of work.  I would say if yours is on a wed, that going back to work Monday would be fine.  I am a trooper, because MC are so draining and so sad, i could not stay in the house and cry all day so the day after my 1st d and c, i went out apple picking.  i made my mom and my friend bring me.  It felt better for me to get out and stop sitting in a  shell of pain.

with my first MC and d and c, i only waited a month and then got preg again and had another MC.  with my 2nd, i waited 3 months and here i am almost 25 weeks along.  so the best advise i can give you is give your body a little time to heal but most important, give yoursefl time to heal.  MC are very emtional and at times can take over you.  try to heal your mind.
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Avatar universal
Thank you all for this.  I have been questioning myself since friday, wondering if I had done something wrong.  I go in for my D and C on wednesday to get it removed.  I kinda knew something was up before the scan, it didn't feel right to me.

I honestly thought that I had killed it.  I mean, I quit smoking when my boyfriend and I were planning, I did everything by the book and it still happened.  It is upsetting that I am not the only one to go through this, it's horrible and wouldn't wish this on anyone.

After the D and C, what will happen?  I just haven't planned anything from there.

I feel kinda empty but it had made me feel a little better knowing that I did not kill my baby.  Thank you.  You have helped me more than you know.
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342988 tn?1299782356
they honestly do not know what exactly causes specific MC's.  sometimes it it a chromosomal problem and your body "does what it is suppoed to" because if the pregnancy contiued, your baby would not develop.  other things are blood clotting D/O, hormonal issues and other things.  sometimes they just happen.

I am sorry that happened to you.  I myself had 2 MC's in a 5 month span and when i went in for all the testing, they said there was not cuase for the MC's, they just happened.  I had my last MC in Feb 08 and i am now 24 weeks along with a healthy baby boy so you can get pregnant again and have a very healthy pregnancy.  keep your head high and hang in there,
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Avatar universal
I just want to say I'm very sorry for your loss. It's heartbreaking to experience a loss at any stage in pregnancy. If this is your first miscarriage, chances you will have a healthy, normal pregnancy the next time are the same as if you've never had one. I know too well the confusion and frustration of not having answers to why this has happened. I have had 2 consecutive pregnancy losses, the first at 18 weeks, the second at 17 weeks. I have gone through every test imaginable and while I'm glad things keep coming back negative, I still have no answers. Sadly, in most cases, we may never know why. However, in your case, a very early loss is most likely a RANDOM chromosomal abnormality that will not happen again. It was most likely just bad luck. Believe it or not, it is so much more common than you'd think. Don't live your life in fear that this will happen again. I know it's easier said than done, but your chances of having a healthy baby are still very very good. I wish you the best in your next pregnancy.
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Avatar universal
      I KNOW how you feel it been almost month after my miscarriage. I still wonder what caused it. I dont think you or I will ever know! You just have to  to get over it as best as you can. I know its hard and everyone has their own way. HOPE you feel better.  Wish you luck on your next pregnancy...
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589816 tn?1332976771
I'm so sorry for your loss...I was 9w3d and found that my baby died at 5 weeks...I questioned my ob and the er dr.'s like crazy and they all said the same as what the ladies above have said...
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662447 tn?1333296146
i know it may sound like a broken record but you didnt do anything wrong. stress is not a reason for m/c. my dr told me the most common cause of m/c is chromosomal abnormalities and you would be surprised how many women have m/c. after mine i found out my mother in laws first preg ended in m/c but she went on to have 6 children and my best friends mothers first preg was a m/c but she had 2 children after that and the same for another friend, 1st preg m/c then 2 children and she only had 1 working ovary. there is hope. it may not feel like there is but all you have is to try again and work with your dr.
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Avatar universal
I'm so sorry for your loss.  We all know how devastating this can be.  I think nickswife is right.  My baby stopped growing at 6w and my dr said that typically anytime it happens in the 1st trimester is just because it wasn't meant to be.  He also said since this was our first m/c, that next time I get pg there is no greater chance of it happening again.  I have the exact same percentages as any woman who hasn't had one.
http://www.pregnancyloss.info - this website has been a great comfort and has some very good info.
There was nothing that you did wrong.  Try to stay positive.
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669150 tn?1320687133
you didnt do anything wrong..i just had my second missed m/c in 4 months. all they told me was they dont really knowwhat caused it, but usually a chromosone defect. my dr told me that when conception happened and it wasnt going to be a perfect baby then it wasnt going to happen. im 35, and next time i get pregnant i have to let the dr know right away and hes going to put me on baby aspirin, prometrium and heparin injections and hopefully it will stick. i already have 2 boys, i had with no problem so i know it can be done. they also did lots of tests on me and all came back fine. all you can do is try again when you are ready, and stay positive. i know its hard..
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