Natural Miscarriage VS D&C What To Do???

[jamnavywife]

I found out at 10weeks that my twins did not have heartbeats (they measured 7weeks6days). And now Im left with making the hardest decision of my life. I dont feel a D&C is right and want to do things naturally, but im scared of the risks involved. I know if I do the D&C I will never feel comfortable about having it dont, but if I try to do it at home and something goes wrong I dont know if I can live with that either. I have a 15month old daughter and I just want to be there for her no matter what. Has anyone done this at home with twins? Any info would be greatly appreciated. Another concern I have is that if I have the D&C they send the babies off to a lab and then "dispose" of them. I want to be able to have any remain cremated and I feel doing this at homke is the only way to feel right about this....

[AndieA]

Last august at my routine 13wk scan, the u/s said there was no heart beat and that my baby had stopped growing between 9-10 wks, i was distraught and didn't believe her so she got another lady in for 2nd oppinion, i was still conviced they were wrong.
I was sent home to let it sink in and was told to come back in few weeks for confirmation again by u/s.

Again the u/s said my baby had died, she was still in my tummy, i felt physically fine!
I decided against the d&c incase of error, and i didn't want them taking my baby away to dispose of,By the time i should have been 16-17 wks i began to bleed. i passed my baby at home. this was the best decission for us we burried her and had a memorial.

she was beautiful, not a scary sight just so tiny and heartbreaking.

I went to the hospital when i knew she was at home safely, as there was a blockage i couldnt pass and i was haemoraging badly. it was the placenta that had kept growing, hence the pregnancy symptoms hadn't gone.

im so sorry if this was a little too much info, if you need to talk feel free to msg me, talking and really helped me.

[MARIS78]

it can take weeks for it to occur naturally, and at 7 weeks i think your babies would be about 1 cm long, if you start bleeding, you might not even notice when they pass.
It is very hard, I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks, got a pill to induce and everything came out at home, which was not a nice thing, and then i had to go to the hospital to get a d&c and get everything cleaned up in there.
sorry for you loss.

[mjmom69]

I'm so sorry for your loss (all of you). I found out at 10w that my babies HB had stopped just after 7 wks. I waited a couple of days and then opted for a D&C at 11w2d I think. I just couldn't sit and wait for it to happen knowing the baby had died. 1 thing I wanted to mention is that when we did the 10w ultrasound, we saw no baby really, it was starting to absorb I guess. I'm not sure if there was anything to cremate except for the lining and, I'll call it a mass for lack of a better word. It was not the same as when we saw the HB at 6w. I don't know if that will help you or not but I just wanted to tell you my experience just in case. I'm sorry it sounds harsh. It is just a horrible thing to have to go thru. Whatever you decide, it will be what is best for you. Take care.

[jamnavywife]

Thank you, for the responce. I am so sorry you have gone throught this more than once. I cant imagine doing this again.
I will keep you in my prayers and I truly hope everything turns out well!

[confused3rdtimer27]

i'm so sorry. i've been in that situation myself, only with a single baby, i was given three options when at 9 weeks and 6 days mu baby died.option number one was to have a dialation and curretage.  option number two was to have two lots of tablets 48 hours apart to "induce" a natural miscarriage or option number three where i could go home and just wait! for me at the time the d and c was the first and only option i wanted to go for, i was 18 it as my first miscarriage and seeing the baby on the screen was hard enough for me without seeing it and feeling it leaving me. for several reasons  i had to have the two lots of tablets and stayed in hospital as a  after i had passed the baby i went home. i went on to have a baby girl, then got pregnant after her, that baby died at 6 weeks and i had a d and c. because for me at THAT time it was what i thought best. i agree with everybody else,  it's a very  personal decision. even if in ten years time you look back and disagree with the decision you made now atleast it was right for you at the time. whatever it takes to get you through  :-)
i am currently (by lmp dates) 9 weeks pregnant, but on the 26th of june i had a scan after some slight spotting and it showed a sac with no baby only a white dot which the doctor said COULD be baby, i'd have to g o back in two weeks for another scan (12th july) to make sure. they also took two lots of blood 48 hours apart which showed my hcg levels had gone from 12700+ to 12300+. i am now in a situation where i may have to make the decision again, and to be honest i judt DON'T NOW yet, all i DO know is it WILL be whatever feels right to me at the time. my thouhgts are with you. xx

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, I lost twins at 9 weeks, and waited to miscarry naturally.  It felt better to me to do it like that.  I then had the twins cremated, which also felt more natural than leaving them at the hospital.  I'll send you a private message with the details and the decision-making and all that happened.  It took about 4 weeks for my body to pass the babies naturally.  

[prettygirl87]

First let me start by saying I am so sorry you are going through this but as the other ladies have stated it's a very personal decision I had a D&C in early May it is a very quick, easy and painless procedure and you recover quick depending on your body it put my mind at ease to look at the procedure on YouTube first do what you think is right for you ask your doctor about ANY concerns you will be in my prayers

[aowens]

I am so very sorry for you loss....I agree with ariesgirl..I just had a d&c June 25th....is was the best option for me as well...being able to move on quicker did indeed help me..but as mentioned it is a very personal decision..I was asked to sign a paper telling the hospital how to handle the remains I was given the option to let them handle it or to give the babys remains to me so I could have a funeral...Im sure you will be able to do the same...

I am so so sorry for your loss my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

[ariesgirl411]

I am VERY sorry for your loss hun :(

Only you know what is right for you....and it sounds like you have already made up your mind. I personally had a D&C mainly because it allowed to move on (somewhat) in a quicker way.  My body was not doing anything to miscarry fully on its own and i have heard in cases like that it can take weeks to occur naturally at home.  For me that would be most difficult to still know my baby was in me and I couldn't do anything to help it.  I too already have a daughter (17 months) and like you said I needed to be at my fullest, all things considered, for her sake.

I am not sure if during a D&C they allow you to take the baby home or to have it cremated.  But, I do know they don't always send them off so it may be possible if you were to request it.  

There are probably risks associate with either way....so at this point it's just about what makes you most comfortable.  We go through so much emotionally during these times...best to do what puts your heart a little at ease :)

I wish you all the best, please let us know how you are doing.