Anxiety or Delusion?

[anxiousherr]

Hi all, I am a 30 year old male with anxiety symptoms from my younger days. Recently i met my love of life and i am going to marry her soon. However when i started talking to her, my mind started remembering my ex with whom i broke 3 years back. I never thought of my ex before for 3 yeras but when i met my new girl friend, my mind started ruminating thoughts. I dont have any feelings for my ex, but i love my current GF very much. I went to my GP and she gave me Zolsoft for anxiety + xanax when severe, she said zolsoft would take time for giving the effect.

However from last 2 days my mind started saying that what if i would imagine and see my ex everywhere even when i am seeing my GF, or any other girls outside when i go out or even while having sex with my GF? And when i think like this my mind shows up the image of my ex everywhere. I am loosing my mind and getting very scared and anxious when this thought comes to my mind which does every now and then. i feel the shivers and trembling, i started CBT yesterday with a private psychiatrist in stockholm. I get many scary thoughts daily which take control of me and currently this thought is driving me crazy, Also i noticed that when i get a new worry i give low preference to the old worries

i dont understand if i am suffering from severe anxiety with ruminating thoughts or any other illness? I went to the doc and they did some blood and urine tests, i am awaiting results soon. Any one could please suggest, if i would ever recover?  I am getting married soon and i want to lead a happy life. Any suggestion would be highly appreciated

[Peter Forster]

Dear Anxiousherr,
I am sure that you are going to recover from this very disturbing experience.
First off, you have done all of the right things. Second, as scary as these thoughts and feelings are they are not a symptom of delusions.
However, the treatments are going to take a bit of time to resolve the symptoms.
You didn't say, but I would love to know how long you have been on Zoloft, and at what dose.
There is a demonstration that is done in many psychology classes that may be relevant to your situation. The teacher asks everyone in the class to make sure that for the next 30 seconds they DON'T think of a white bear. Needless to say, all of the students immediately find that they can't stop thinking about white bears. The point is that not thinking about something is not an effective way of approaching this kind of situation... the mind just doesn't have that kind of "off" switch.
The best way of thinking about your ex-girlfriend less is to do two things - first is to think of something else - to draw your mind to other thoughts. The second is to accept the thoughts of your ex when they occur - to say to yourself - yes, there is another one of those thoughts - and then to let go of it (sometimes people like to imagine that the thoughts are like bubbles rising up in a clear pond, passing through their awareness).
The problem with telling yourself "STOP THINKING ABOUT MY EX" is that that message comes with a strong emotional message - thoughts about my ex are important and potentially dangerous. And our brains are setup never to ignore things that are important and potentially dangerous. So you want to replace that view with the notion that thoughts about your ex are not important (they can be recognized without fear) and not dangerous (you can easily let go of them and move on to other things).

[anxiousherr]

Dear peter, thanks alot for assuring and giving a simple solution. I completely understand the explanation you gave. I am using zolsoft just for 3 days now at25mg dose. But i feel my anxiety doubled with the dose. I started using .25mg xanax from yesterday and today i didnt take zolsoft because of severe early morning anxiety. I am getting married soon and i would like to do every thing from my side to relax and cool off the situation. I have one question about accepting the thoughts of my ex, when they come, they come with intense fear in my heart. Can you please elaborate how to do this, Thanks alot for your help and reassuring response. I already started feeling a little better after reading your answer

[anxiousherr]

Also i am taking omega 3 capsules 4 per day, Would you suggest any natural herbal supplements for relieving tension and a better night sleep?

[Peter Forster]

With regard to the Zoloft, one of the problems with the medication is that, for a short period (usually less than four days) it can make the symptoms greater and that effect has nothing to do with the ultimate effect, the therapeutic effect, which is often delayed by one to three weeks.
I hesitated about talking about acceptance because it was a bigger topic than I had the ability to fully address in an email message. And it can sound like a crazy idea. One thing that can be useful with these kind of intrusive thoughts or images is to write down something on a card that you carry with you - something like "This thought is not real, I have nothing to fear, I can accept is as a thought and move on."