Aa
am i getting mad..
hi, i am scarlet.. i don`t know whats wrong with me.. but sometimes i feel like nobody loves me.. even i don`t love myself.. i m good at nothing,. my friends say that i m very intelligent.. i have always got good grades but still i feel like a very important part from my life is missing.. as if i mean nothing to anyone.. i keep on weeping for long hours but i don`t know why?? i feel like everything is falling apart.. as if . i don`t know what.. but i am a poet also.. a writer.. i have written many poems and short stories.. but now suddenly i have stopped writing.. i lack words.. as if my words are betraying me.. they are cheating on me. i am feeling like the main character of Dostoyevsky`s novel crime an punishment... i don`t remember his name.. but i have committed no sin.. i have a best friend.. but now i feel that even she does n`t loves me anymore.. i don`t like her talking so frankly with others.. am i jealous.. is loving someone is jealousy? i hate eating.. i don`t eat for many days.. i don`t drink or smoke.. i love reading novels.. i love tragedies... i don`t know why i am writing all this.. its just ********.. nut i am feeling good after writing all this.. i don`t have any boyfriend.. i believe in platonic love.. is that also wrong?? i want an answer.. should i consult a psychologist.. is this because of over reading.. am i going to die... please help me.. i need my answers.. i am suffering...))
I agree with the doctor, I think you need to see someone, you shouldn't suffer in this way, it sounds like you are in a lot of emotional pain...
I can relate to the reading, and especially being drawn to tragedies.. I have found this hard to understand about myself but I have come to the conclusion that my feelings and thoughts are so deep that other people can't understand, so I feel like I am lacking in people with the depth of empathy that I need for emotional support..so I turn to such tragic stories as the events I read about make me feel that someone out there feels as bad as I do...it's very sad.
I think the feeling of being unloved comes with depression aswell, it makes you feel very bad about yourself, its a cycle that you can't get out of easily, especially with how dark your feelings are right now..
A lot of good writers and poets are very emotional people, it is a good thing that comes out of such suffering, when you are better you will be able to use these debilitating emotions in a positive way, but right now everything is too foggy, don't expect too much of yourself, humans aren't perfect and if you expect too much of yourself you will worse.
I hope that you can get to a doctor soon and get some treatment, I think someone to talk to would be a good idea too, you emotions are so strong that it must be chaotic in your mind.
You seem like a fantastic person to me and don't deserve to suffer!
I can relate to the reading, and especially being drawn to tragedies.. I have found this hard to understand about myself but I have come to the conclusion that my feelings and thoughts are so deep that other people can't understand, so I feel like I am lacking in people with the depth of empathy that I need for emotional support..so I turn to such tragic stories as the events I read about make me feel that someone out there feels as bad as I do...it's very sad.
I think the feeling of being unloved comes with depression aswell, it makes you feel very bad about yourself, its a cycle that you can't get out of easily, especially with how dark your feelings are right now..
A lot of good writers and poets are very emotional people, it is a good thing that comes out of such suffering, when you are better you will be able to use these debilitating emotions in a positive way, but right now everything is too foggy, don't expect too much of yourself, humans aren't perfect and if you expect too much of yourself you will worse.
I hope that you can get to a doctor soon and get some treatment, I think someone to talk to would be a good idea too, you emotions are so strong that it must be chaotic in your mind.
You seem like a fantastic person to me and don't deserve to suffer!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Dear Scarlet,
I definitely think that you should go see a doctor. It seems quite likely that you may be suffering from a major depression. Of course, I am sure that there is a lot else going on, but you should at least get someone to thoughtfully evaluate what can be done about your suffering.
Let me know if you need help finding a doctor... If you do it might be useful to have some information about your health insurance...
Take good care of yourself!
Peter
I definitely think that you should go see a doctor. It seems quite likely that you may be suffering from a major depression. Of course, I am sure that there is a lot else going on, but you should at least get someone to thoughtfully evaluate what can be done about your suffering.
Let me know if you need help finding a doctor... If you do it might be useful to have some information about your health insurance...
Take good care of yourself!
Peter
Have you ever felt loved?
What might it be like to love yourself?
What might it be like to love yourself?
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