Breakdown

[Tahiri_Veila]

I guess I am having a breakdown right now.  One my mother seems to think that all of this is in my head.  She thinks that I think it is MS because my friend(who has all of the exact same symptoms) has MS.  In truth, I have been worried about these symptoms since before my friend was diagnosed, we both were worried.  It is just it wasn't until she came down and told me that I needed to get in to a doctor that I did.  I guess she just kind of gave me the push to start looking.
I guess with all the tests coming back negative I am beginning to believe my mother.  My husband keeps telling me that it is real, and what is happening is not in my mind and he is very supportive, but what if he is wrong, what if I am wrong.  What if all we are doing is throwing away money that could most definitely be used elsewhere on something that is just me?
Sorry to dump all of this on you, but I have had it.  If it is all in my mind, I just want it to go away.  Sorry.
Tahiri

[Tahiri_Veila]

Thanks I just went to my PCP with all of my tests and notes and everything.  He read through everything looked at MRI's and tests and all that.  I actually watched him read through my notes of symptoms.  Then he told me it was one of two things and he would need a spinal tap the next time symptoms flare really bad in order to be sure one way or the other.  The two are MS or fibromyalgia.  He is not sure as I am atypical for both.  In the meantime, he gave me a prescription for neurontin (yes, finally someone who listens) and is going to watch.

So I guess it is darkest just before the dawn.

Tahiri

[Wobbly]

We all know how you are feeling, being in Limbo land is not fun and alot of family and friends will tell us that eg:

it's only in our head...

you are making it worst by being online...

just because you know someone who is sick doesn't mean you are...

get a puppy you will feel better...a nurse told me that one..hehe

walk more, it will help you feel better and help with your weight...

they would say quit smoking,,,but I did three years ago

We have all heard the same type of remarks...from lovely family as well.  They are concerned and dont' want us to be ill.

But we know our own body's and know when something is not right...We do not want MS or anything else that is so bad....we want a Dx...and treatment so we can get our lives back to how they were before all these horrible symptoms and pain.  

I think you feel the same way all of us do here in Limboland...this forum is here for all of us...includes you too...you know..

sometimes, we take breaks away from Drs...time outs... and breaks away from the forum... just to clear our heads... but we all need to have friends that understand where we are coming from and understand things that other might not...so I know I'm rambling...sorry...

hang in there...take some time to feel how you feel...and you know your body and how it has changed...

keep us updated OK... I'm still not Dx...it's been over 3 years..

andie

[jensequitur]

Heck, tell your mom that if it's MS, it really is in your head!  That would stump her.

Symptoms are symptoms.  Even if you can't get a diagnosis, at least you can get treatment for the symptoms.  Not to be too much of a downer, but the only thing you really have to worry about if it's MS is disease progression.  Symptom management can be administered to you whether you have a diagnosis or not.

[aiMelissa]

(((((((((hugs))))))))))

Don't EVER give up.  5 years ago I started having abdominal pain and was hurting a lot.  I had tests that showed and enlarged liver and spleen but the doctors just said that I must have been born with it (?) although my liver continued to enlarge.  I saw several doctors but since I did not have insurance and was going through a free clinic, they just dismissed my pain as "in my head" or "stress".  

They were wrong.  I finally got good insurance and 8 months and 11 doctors later I had a dx of an autoimmune liver disease.  And this was only 3 weeks after a local GI doctor told me, "there is nothing wrong with you, why do you keep coming to see me?".  Jerk!  I knew something was wrong.  I finally got my answers when I went to a big teaching hospital.

Now I am going through the same with with MS.  I know what I feel, and, like you, so does my husband.  The tests are iffy and I'm not sure what they are going to say but you just have to keep on going.  It *****.  It's sad that we have to push to get answers and often a diagnosis that we don't want.  I agree, if it's all in my head I would just stop, I mean...I don't want to be "sick" anymore.

You will be in my prayers.

Melissa

[aura3]

Have faith in your self and don't give up!!  

There is one thing I have learned is that you are the only one that knows how you feel 100% of the time. You know there is something wrong, so do not give up until you get it figured out.  We all feel like giving up at some point and I know it is harder when you have those loved ones question you.  I am in the same boat with my husband to an extent.  

Doesn't everyone know that we do not want MS!!! Perhaps it is the only thing that makes sence of it all and, if it is what any of us have in limboland, we want to know!!
You keep you chin up!!!
Vent anytime you need because I am here to listen,

God Bless you,
Aura

[Tahiri_Veila]

I am not saying that I am sure it is MS, I am not.  I don't even want it to be believe me.  I hate shots and I would not want to be giving myself one everyday.  I HATE needles.  I am looking at other things with my symptoms, but they are all turning up negative.  So what do I do?  Yes I am worried, but am I the only one.  Do you get what I am saying?
Tahiri

[debral09]

Hey you!!!!  Don't you EVER give up!  If you feel that something is wrong then do something about it!  Keep searching for answers.  I agree with Doni and when your body tells you something isn't right than you need to do something about it.  It might seem like throwing away money but I think that is better than not knowing what could be wrong.  Yeah it might not be MS but it might be something else and if you give up now you will never know!

I am here for you!  PM me if you ever need to just vent because believe me I understand.

Take care of yourself in the meantime!  Sending you lots of hugs!!!(((())))

Hugs,
Debra

[syndismilez]

Keep your chin up sweety. It gets hard sometimes. I often feel the same way
you do. We just have to keep ourselves from letting it get us down.
Sending you a big cyber hug :)
Cyndi

[doni54]

Hi, it sounds like you are doubting yourself.  Well, all of us on here have probably doubted ourselves 100's of times when told there was nothing wrong.

Only you know how you feel, how your body feels, and if you think that something is wrong then, I would guess that something is wrong.

It might not be MS, but it could be something else that you need treatment for.  I did a post on Sunday about not giving up the fight to find a dx, no matter how many drs or how many times you get told nothing is wrong.

Your husband sounds like a great guy.  If even he sees the changes in you then I know that makes you feel better to know he is supporting you.  It has taken my husband years to admit that something is wrong with me, but since he has, it makes it much easier to deal with.

Don't give up on the search for your dx.  If you know something is wrong then keep going until you have answers.  I didn't, and now I wish I could go back about 10 years and demand answers.

You take care of yourself and know we are all here for you.

Hugs
doni