Your story fits perfectly with the thought that this roller coaster ride really never ends - just when you think it has leveled out, you can face another hill or dip.
Did your fiance recognize the cruelty of the comments? I hope so, otherwise it might be time to cut if off and not subject yourself to the verbal abuse again.
The crying might be delayed mourning over the things you have lost, including the feeling of safety in your fiance's presence. That would be a big thing to get over. If for some reason you find yourself still struggling with the tears, please reach out to your doctor for help. I would hate to know you have sunk into a dark place that can be difficult to get out of on your own.
hugs, Laura
TLC gave you really great advice! I will continue to keep you in my thoughts, please message if you ever need someone to listen!
Lizzie
If my fiancee were to leave me, or die, or even if I were to leave her, it certainly would be traumatic emotionally. And those of us with MS have emotional lability piled on to the problems that “normal” folks face. There's nothing "stupid" about it.
When the dust settled, I might suddenly realize that I didn’t have someone to reliably give me shots each week, watch and entertain the kids when I’m exhausted, prepare healthy meals for me, etc. Yes, my case is relatively benign, but I’ve still become dependent, and it would really hit me that I have MS. Especially with having to self-inject again. I feel pretty crummy just daydreaming about it. Nothing "stupid" about that.
Your MS may have progressed over time, and you might even have some symptoms flaring up today, but your condition is really no worse today than it was yesterday, last week, or last month. The disease doesn’t move that fast. You’re the same person that you were before your fiancee got stupid.
Make a point to set up lunches and other outings in the next few days with the people you care about, friends and family. Rekindle some relationships that might have gone dormant because you were busy with a financee. Soon you again won’t think about your MS as much.
Jenny,
Nothing you stated was stupid. I just wanted you to know that I care and will keep you in my my thoughts. I hope that you are able to connect with others who are or have traveled down the same path you are currently on.
Best Wishes,
Lizzie