Aa
Do you ever feel like you're in the Twilight Zone?
This is an oldie of mine and I'm not sure it has been aired in the last couple years. If a repeat - please forgive.
Patient walks into doctor's exam room and nurse asks, "Why are you here?"
Patient - "I've been diagnosed with ADS - Appendage Dropoff Syndrome."
Nurse, "Okay, the doctor will be in shortly."
Doctor - "Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pfufinek. What can I do for you?"
P - "Well, I was diagnosed two months ago with ADS, but now my insurance has changed, and I'm worse, so I'm coming to you for care"
Dr. - "How was the diagnosis made?"
P - "Well, first my pinky and ring finger on the left fell off. Then, a month later my left nostril fell off. And shortly after that I lost my right earlobe."
Dr. - "I don't diagnose ADS until 4 appendages have dropped off."
P - "Well, that is four, a nostril, an earlobe and 2 fingers!"
Dr. - "I would count the two adjacent fingers as one appendage."
P - "Okay, that's why I'm here. Yesterday my right arm dropped off, and I'm really worried! That makes 5 appendages, or four by your count. Shouldn't I be on some Disease Modifying Drugs to slow all this down?" The Patient lays the arm down on the doctor's desk.
The Doctor puts on gloves and distastfully sets it aside. "Hmm...Does your urine glow in the dark?"
P -"No, but they said that only about 60% of patients' urine glowed in the dark."
Dr. - "I won't make the diagnosis without glowing urine. Besides you're too old"
P - "But, there is no upper age limit. Lots of people older than me have been diagnosed with ADS. I've already been diagnosed and I'm getting worse. I'm desperate! Every morning I count everything to see that it's all still there!"
Dr. - "Ahhhhh, I see...Yes....Do you have a history of anxiety?"
P - "Only since things started falling off on me."
Dr. - "I think you should have a psychiatric evaluation. This all is just probably a stress reaction.
P - A STRESS REACTION!!!! MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!
Dr. - "Have you had all of the mimics excluded? "
P - "I think so, I was checked for Farm Equipment Accidents, Gangrene, Motorcycle Crashes, Recurrent Ninja Attacks, Machine Shop Malfunctions, and evidence of Werewolf Infestation. And of course, I was checked for Absentmindedness, but there was no evidence that I merely mislaid something and didn't notice."
DR. - "Is that all?"
P - "I think so. What about a DMD?"
DR. - Well, I don't think you're bad enough off yet to begin treatment. And there is no evidence that your disease is progressing.
P - What!! MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!
Dr. - "Any number of things could have caused that."
P - I don't understand how you can say that. Other people with less disease than I have get the DMD's. That's the current recommendation. How can you say I'm not "bad enough?"
Dr. - "You can still walk and have full full use of your left arm, except for the two fingers. They really aren't that much help anyway. But, you should be evaluated for Leprosy. Many people don't know that this, too, can mimic ADS. It's rare, but someday I will find a case. I have a contact at a leper colony in Brazil." The doctor walks to the door, "Nurse, Please quarantine our patient here and make preparations to ship him immediatley to Brazil."
The Patient is led away in shock and bewilderment.
Sound familiar to anyone?
The Quizzler
Patient walks into doctor's exam room and nurse asks, "Why are you here?"
Patient - "I've been diagnosed with ADS - Appendage Dropoff Syndrome."
Nurse, "Okay, the doctor will be in shortly."
Doctor - "Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pfufinek. What can I do for you?"
P - "Well, I was diagnosed two months ago with ADS, but now my insurance has changed, and I'm worse, so I'm coming to you for care"
Dr. - "How was the diagnosis made?"
P - "Well, first my pinky and ring finger on the left fell off. Then, a month later my left nostril fell off. And shortly after that I lost my right earlobe."
Dr. - "I don't diagnose ADS until 4 appendages have dropped off."
P - "Well, that is four, a nostril, an earlobe and 2 fingers!"
Dr. - "I would count the two adjacent fingers as one appendage."
P - "Okay, that's why I'm here. Yesterday my right arm dropped off, and I'm really worried! That makes 5 appendages, or four by your count. Shouldn't I be on some Disease Modifying Drugs to slow all this down?" The Patient lays the arm down on the doctor's desk.
The Doctor puts on gloves and distastfully sets it aside. "Hmm...Does your urine glow in the dark?"
P -"No, but they said that only about 60% of patients' urine glowed in the dark."
Dr. - "I won't make the diagnosis without glowing urine. Besides you're too old"
P - "But, there is no upper age limit. Lots of people older than me have been diagnosed with ADS. I've already been diagnosed and I'm getting worse. I'm desperate! Every morning I count everything to see that it's all still there!"
Dr. - "Ahhhhh, I see...Yes....Do you have a history of anxiety?"
P - "Only since things started falling off on me."
Dr. - "I think you should have a psychiatric evaluation. This all is just probably a stress reaction.
P - A STRESS REACTION!!!! MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!
Dr. - "Have you had all of the mimics excluded? "
P - "I think so, I was checked for Farm Equipment Accidents, Gangrene, Motorcycle Crashes, Recurrent Ninja Attacks, Machine Shop Malfunctions, and evidence of Werewolf Infestation. And of course, I was checked for Absentmindedness, but there was no evidence that I merely mislaid something and didn't notice."
DR. - "Is that all?"
P - "I think so. What about a DMD?"
DR. - Well, I don't think you're bad enough off yet to begin treatment. And there is no evidence that your disease is progressing.
P - What!! MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!
Dr. - "Any number of things could have caused that."
P - I don't understand how you can say that. Other people with less disease than I have get the DMD's. That's the current recommendation. How can you say I'm not "bad enough?"
Dr. - "You can still walk and have full full use of your left arm, except for the two fingers. They really aren't that much help anyway. But, you should be evaluated for Leprosy. Many people don't know that this, too, can mimic ADS. It's rare, but someday I will find a case. I have a contact at a leper colony in Brazil." The doctor walks to the door, "Nurse, Please quarantine our patient here and make preparations to ship him immediatley to Brazil."
The Patient is led away in shock and bewilderment.
Sound familiar to anyone?
The Quizzler
Yep, I remember this one!!!
Still made me laugh....haha I'm soooo glad you're back!!!!
Finally after brain and c spine lesions showing on MRI, Evoked Potentials Dr saying to me......MS, huh? Can you see anything at all out of your right eye?
Me to MS Neuro: What do you really think is wrong with me, doc?
MS Neuro: I'm sure it's MS, but I still don't have enough clinical proof.....If your devics test comes back negative, I will dx you then.
After Devics testing is negative, next visit..........
MS Neuro: I can't dx you, you only have 1 lesion.....
Me: What?, can I please see the films you were showing me last time I was here? Yep.....still see a bunch of lesions....guess the MS Neuro must not be able to see out of either eye!!!!!
Getting a diagnosis? Depends on being lucky enough to chose the right neuro? My first 2 choices, not so great.....haha
Still made me laugh....haha I'm soooo glad you're back!!!!
Finally after brain and c spine lesions showing on MRI, Evoked Potentials Dr saying to me......MS, huh? Can you see anything at all out of your right eye?
Me to MS Neuro: What do you really think is wrong with me, doc?
MS Neuro: I'm sure it's MS, but I still don't have enough clinical proof.....If your devics test comes back negative, I will dx you then.
After Devics testing is negative, next visit..........
MS Neuro: I can't dx you, you only have 1 lesion.....
Me: What?, can I please see the films you were showing me last time I was here? Yep.....still see a bunch of lesions....guess the MS Neuro must not be able to see out of either eye!!!!!
Getting a diagnosis? Depends on being lucky enough to chose the right neuro? My first 2 choices, not so great.....haha
That's a great addition!
As the patient is being lead away, stunned and bewildered, he turns and demands desperately, "I want a second opinion."
Dr. - "No problem. I fly down to Brazil next month."
Q
As the patient is being lead away, stunned and bewildered, he turns and demands desperately, "I want a second opinion."
Dr. - "No problem. I fly down to Brazil next month."
Q
that is a grand slam with me... I relate to this completely..
So I asked my MS Doctor, Doctor should I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
take care
JB
So I asked my MS Doctor, Doctor should I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
take care
JB
I can happily say that I cannot relate to this very funny tale :-) My very first neuro said "I'm 85% certain you have MS. You need to see an MS specialist." The MS specialist filled in the remaining 15% :-)
Kyle
Kyle
Brilliant! And far too close to home :-P. It does help to keep a sense of humour about the crazy ...
Wow I've just laughed so hard I'm crying. Thank you I really needed that today....a laugh I mean.
I also love the lies my Neuro told me & before I read this one above.... it was a favourite. I've had a rotten morning (australia) of Vertigo & I know you know how that feels. It's settling now I'm slumped into my recliner but I really needed a good laugh.
I have had a bad Neuro who told me what I don't have just as I walked in the room & put my butt on the chair. You could say my mouth fell open & I looked like a gold fish. He had never met me before, done any examination or asked a single question. I never saw the first Neuro again to say the least. I can thank you for that easy desicion as I had already read some of your health pages etc.
It took a while but I am now seeing a new Neuro & so far so good. Thanks again for the laugh. karryon.
I also love the lies my Neuro told me & before I read this one above.... it was a favourite. I've had a rotten morning (australia) of Vertigo & I know you know how that feels. It's settling now I'm slumped into my recliner but I really needed a good laugh.
I have had a bad Neuro who told me what I don't have just as I walked in the room & put my butt on the chair. You could say my mouth fell open & I looked like a gold fish. He had never met me before, done any examination or asked a single question. I never saw the first Neuro again to say the least. I can thank you for that easy desicion as I had already read some of your health pages etc.
It took a while but I am now seeing a new Neuro & so far so good. Thanks again for the laugh. karryon.
Have you read "Lies My Neuro Told Me"?
Yes, Door #2 was the winner! Neuros #1 and 3 went to school with Dr. Pfufinek.
Quix
Yes, Door #2 was the winner! Neuros #1 and 3 went to school with Dr. Pfufinek.
Quix
COMMUNITY LEADER
It's never going to be too old lol still right on and still very funny!
Lol. Yep. "You have no lesions, You can't be numb, tingling, or burning" said the first neuro.
Second neuro showed me the lesions on my mri and took wonderful care of me. He does not take my new insurance though.
Third neuro with Vanderbilt on first(and only) visit. "What is Aubagio? I've never heard of that. MS does not cause pain and I don't think you have MS after having me walk the whole 3 steps across the examining room". Ordered new MRI and then calls me a week later and says, "you don't have MS. Stop taking your medications". When I ask what might be causing my symptoms, he had no suggestions.
Paying out of pocket to see neuro #2. He read my new MRI and again showed me the lesions(a few brain but mostly spinal) although 1 brain lesion was gone and another was diminishing to which he was thrilled and attributes to the Aubagio! He specializes in MS. People that are hard to diagnose come to him from a five state radius. He is also an accredited neuro-imager, a pharmacologist, and something else, psychiatry? He is leading several clinical trials(I am not participating), he teaches and constantly attends conferences to stay "cutting edge". He is passionate about MS.I trust him. He told me that he was going to call neuro #3 and educate him. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall!
I choose the neuro behind door #2!
Colin
Second neuro showed me the lesions on my mri and took wonderful care of me. He does not take my new insurance though.
Third neuro with Vanderbilt on first(and only) visit. "What is Aubagio? I've never heard of that. MS does not cause pain and I don't think you have MS after having me walk the whole 3 steps across the examining room". Ordered new MRI and then calls me a week later and says, "you don't have MS. Stop taking your medications". When I ask what might be causing my symptoms, he had no suggestions.
Paying out of pocket to see neuro #2. He read my new MRI and again showed me the lesions(a few brain but mostly spinal) although 1 brain lesion was gone and another was diminishing to which he was thrilled and attributes to the Aubagio! He specializes in MS. People that are hard to diagnose come to him from a five state radius. He is also an accredited neuro-imager, a pharmacologist, and something else, psychiatry? He is leading several clinical trials(I am not participating), he teaches and constantly attends conferences to stay "cutting edge". He is passionate about MS.I trust him. He told me that he was going to call neuro #3 and educate him. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall!
I choose the neuro behind door #2!
Colin
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