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572651 tn?1530999357

Fuel for thought - Friends

Fuel was writing to this community looking for advice and information for his good friend, who was recently dx'd with MS. A number of the responders commented on the value of having such a friend on his side.

Fuel has me thinking about those friends I count on to be there when I need a bit extra help or just some extra TLC.

I'm fortunate that at the top of my list is my husband of 36 years - we truly are friends and partners and we know the other will be there if we need the extras.

I have four sisters and we are all adults and still like each other - that should be enough said about those friends  LOL

My coworker is also a great friend.  We've been together for almost 10 years and she continues to have my back when I mess up, never complains about my seemingly endless doctor appointments that pull me away, and always greets me with a smile and kind words and concern about me


These friends all make a great pit crew for me - when I'm out of gas and need more, or when I'm running flat I can count on them to keep me in the race.

Who can you count on  in your pit crew?  I would love to hear about them and this is your chance to sing their praise.

Waiting for your replies,
Lulu

  
9 Responses
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Avatar universal
>>UF2, This isn't directed solely at people with an MS dx - I'm just reflecting on the value of the people in our lives who are like Fuel, and have an abundance of compassion for our situations.

i mis-read, mis-understood, or was bummed out when i read it, or all the above.

with that said, i am way over blessed witht the quality of friends and general life support from friends i have these days. including a couple of God's guardian angels. happy that Heaven put them in my life.

i could never have made it this far without their being around at the right time and right place.

i have a friend here, former Army who has had my back since i moved here. he and a few of his friends are like heros to me considering there type of service to our country and how they take care of their friends and families.

i have another friend, former Marine, always has the right words of wisdom to get me back on track when i wonder.

i have my aa friends who are pillars for me to lean on for support.

i have the unknown/unseen people who come and go from my life that are there to help. though it is only when looking back that i "see" that.

blessed? beyond belief, and probably underserving, but i'll take it!



Helpful - 0
620048 tn?1358018235
I have my husband who will always be here for me and helps me in so many ways, although he doesnt  do housework like I do.

Just right away two of my friends come to mind, a girlfriend who has some knowledge of MS and she also has lupus...she is a great advocate and has taught me how to be more assertive.  She will travel 3 hrs just to come visit and help me a bit with the house, take me out shopping and give me more suggestions to help myself.

And the other person is a man we know, he has leukemia and he was given 2 yrs and it now has been 8 yrs.  He knows his life will end at any time but he is the most positive person I know and is busier than anyone I know. He is a poster child  for Life.
I just spent some time with him and he has helped me out of the depression I was in lately.  

meg
Helpful - 0
1040373 tn?1273687488
I am lucky enough to have 3 sisters who I can count on if I need ANYTHING. I live with one of them and the other 2 (who are twins) are close by. They always ask how I'm doing and go out of their way to be helpful when they know I need help but aren't asking for it.

My parents still aren't sure what to say or do. Sometimes I get the vibe that they don't understand MS and/or don't believe it should affect my abilities at all.

I don't have many friends who get it either, maybe only 2 of them. The rest either ask me "how ARE you??" and act all weird when I start explaining it and some just pretend it doesn't exist.

This should be interesting next summer when I take a mini-vacation with some friends. I'm curious how they'll react when I have to excuse myself to inject my Copaxone. I hope they understand that just like our last vacation, I will most likely not be able to join them while they walk around & shop.  
Helpful - 0
667078 tn?1316000935
There are times I feel I can't make it and at those times I have too many on the sidelines cheering me on. This is one of those times. I can't give up I have too many folks I would hurt.

I am fortunate to have great support. My only family is a brother but he is the best brother ever. I was born on his eleventh birthday so he sees me as his.

Then there is my husband who is my best friend,

I have good friends from many stages in my life. I have a high school teacher and a college professors I still talk to. I was at my Latin Professors house last week.

I have many friends in the artist community and the animal community.

I know my neighbors well. I even know everyone at my local stores well. Polly and I even know the maintenance and security at the mall.

I also have several support groups. One for over 28 years. I am a person who helps people so it comes back.

True story, in college I helped a guy at night in a not so great neighborhood when his car broke down. The guy turned out to be deaf. A few months later my parents in a near by town had car trouble. This deaf guy stopped to help them, he wrote a note saying he did it because a college student went of her way to help him.

Alex

Helpful - 0
645800 tn?1466860955
Top on my list of Pit Crew is my friend Dave. I have only known him about 3 years but more than once he has taken me to the doctor (ER) or shopping when I have not been able to do it myself. Of course I have done the same for him many times as his health is worse than mine due to expopsure to Agent Orange. If it wasn't for him I would probably not be here today.   Other than Dave I have no one else that I can call a friend (good or bad) locally.  

Next is my brother and Mom. Yhey both live on the other side of the country in Oregon, so not of any immediate help when needed. But they both understand my health problems. Probably because they both have a lot of health problems too.

I'm not sure where to place my daughter or Ex on the list mostly because I almost never hear anything from them. After I first developed my symptoms my ex was definitely not someone that I could place on my side hence my divorce within 3 years. But she has seemed more understanding in the last couple of years. Maybe because both her and here new husband have developed a lot of health problems. As for my daughter she just has never been one to be very communicative about anything.

Dennis
Helpful - 0
572651 tn?1530999357
UF2, This isn't directed solely at people with an MS dx - I'm just reflecting on the value of the people in our lives who are like Fuel, and have an abundance of compassion for our situations.  

Mary, I love "hundreds of miles and one phone call awa."  It says it all - you and I are lucky to have sisters.  Sorry men, but I feel for anyone who only has brothers!  :-)

GG - Yours sounds like my work situation - isn't it great to have coworkers who really understand those challenges for us (like wheeling machines around) that take little effort for them to achieve.  

my best,
L
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i don't know anyone who truly believes i have ms. except for the non-va doctors,  i think my aunt does.
Helpful - 0
1045086 tn?1332126422
My pit crew is in the learning curve about supporting Mary with MS.  But they have been there for me before my needs had a name.

Number one was my mother.  She's gone now over a year and a half but I still feel her concern and love for me.  There wasn't a single part of my life she didn't care about yet she always waited patiently for me to be ready to share.

I also have a committed husband of 36 years (37 in April).  His adult ADHD makes a striking contrast to my snail's pace energy conservation efforts.  He may have a hard time relating to my struggle but that doesn't stop him from offering his help daily.  I'm working on the best way to channel his exuberant help.

My dear daughter is the light of my life.  She is the one who helps me through doctor appointments, listens to my vents, has already signed us up for the local MS walk and lets me know SHE still needs MY support too.  She cares enough to educate us both about this disease.  And she keeps me grounded in the real world of our family activities.

My sister lives hundreds of miles and one phone call away.  She is a three year survivor of breast cancer.  She knows how to keep fighting.  She helps me focus and explore possibilities and try new things.

My son, Dr. Jill, Bella Baby Dog, relatives, neighbors, friends, people at work, people here......more who care than I realized.  Thanks for helping me take stock and not feel quite so alone.

Mary
Helpful - 0
738075 tn?1330575844
Wow - where do I begin...(I'm truly blessed in this department)...My husband is totally there for me.  We've been together for 26 years, and we've known each other for 29 years.  He would go to bat for me any old day.  

My neighbor and cycling partner has such caring concern for me, but doesn't ask in such a way - "how ARE you?" with any condescending terror in her voice.  I don't feel bad when she passes me like I'm a fence post even though she's 10 years older than me.  We both know we're on our own paths.  She's WONDERFUL!

My daughter and son-in-law would do anything for me if I just ask.  And they keep reminding me to ask ;^)

My bosses at both hospitals give me lots of time to rest between patients.  If there are portable studies to be done, my workmates will wrestle the big machine into the patients' rooms and do them.  They're all great, and harbor no resentment that I can perceive.  

Cool thread, Lu!
Cheers,
Guitar_grrrl
Helpful - 0
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