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620877 tn?1282764097

Let the games begin - an update

Oops -sorry - this isn't related to the Olympics - those are over!  :)  This is an update on what's happening with my divorce.

First let me say to the group - so many of you have been so supportive, either in the posts or via PM.  I am so proud to be a part of this group and I feel blessed to have your support.

So "the toad" as some of you have labeled him....has begun to show his true colors.  His promises (when he asked for the divorce) of spousal support, equitable division of the assets/debts, etc....have gone out the window....not sure why.  He sent me a "financial proposal" spreadsheet yesterday that was a complete joke.  

I have hired an attorney - who I really like - and his paralegal is awesome - and the attorney is now offically engaged in the situation.

I expect that I will be served with the petition for divorce next week, and the fun (negotiating) will begin.

For whatever reason, my husband is not looking at the "big financial picture" and what all there is to divide, nor is he thinking or being advised about HOW it will be divided.  Washington State is a community property state - people assume that means that everything is split 50/50.  That is not necessarily the case.  It is an "equitable division of assets and debts" - meaning that if one person has the better salary, they may be required to pay more of the debt etc...Since my husband makes almost 4 times what I do.....you get the idea.  For him to "propose" that I take 1/2 of the debt...yeah that "proposal" went straight to the attorney.

I will be moving on 3/13.  After telling me that "You can take as much time as you need to find a place", I told him last weekend that my moving date was 3/27.  He then asked me to move out sooner because he is "uncomfortable and doesn't like feeling like he has to live in 2 rooms" (the guestroom and bonus room)....keep in mind HE is the one who asked for the divorce out of the blue......

So to save my own sanity, I am moving out 2 weeks earlier than I had originally planned.  I can't stand being in the same house with the selfish Toad any longer.

I am hanging in there - just taking as it comes.  I have just found out that I have gallstones - which my GI doctor now believes is what has been causing some of the abdomen pain - so Monday I have a HIDA scan to see how my gallbladder is functioning.  Like I need something else going on right now.....sigh...

I hope all of you are well & sending you hugs!

Chrisy
6 Responses
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751951 tn?1406632863
Yeah, what everybody else said!

Tell that toad I still want to hear from him, but that I don't think he has sufficient testosterone to dial the number.
Helpful - 0
987762 tn?1671273328
COMMUNITY LEADER
Over here we dont like toads, they are toxic invaders, most people with a toad problem, do what ever needs doing to eradicate them from their environment!

Its really really great that your doing whats best for YOU, not sure i would of moved out earlier than planned, i would of told him if he wasnt comfortable there was nothing stopping him from moving into a hotel until he could have the house to himself. I'm gob smacked at his audacity, but as you said he's showing his true colours!

ahhh just a word of warning, a just in case but considering i wouldnt put anything past him after being underhanded already, just be careful of what you disclose on an OPEN forum, it wouldnt be good for you if he knows more than you would like him to, you just dont know these days do you?!

Keep your chin up and stay focused on your needs, now and in the future.

Cheers......JJ
Helpful - 0
739070 tn?1338603402
Sorry you have abdominal pain on top of "toad pain". Hang in there and be tough with the legal aspects. Don't give in to any offer you are not comfortable with. In my former career as paralegal,  I've seen offers being exchanged numerous times (8, I think, was the record, from each side). Don't settle for anything less than you deserve!

We're here for you anytime!!

Ren
Helpful - 0
147426 tn?1317265632
Chrisy, it's good to hear resolve and some anger in your voice.  Anger carries us through bad times much better than depression does.  I know this is still hard.

I hope your attorney also makes and keeps making the point that "equitable" also includes the notion of each spouse's potential earning capacity.  With your diagnosis, it may be equitable that your deserting toad take all of the debt.

We are certainly here for you.

Quix
Helpful - 0
667078 tn?1316000935
Chrisy,

Hang in there sister.

Alex
Helpful - 0
293157 tn?1285873439
Boy are you going through alot, hang in there friend and I'm glad you got a good lawyer.  keep us updated and know we are here for you.

take care and Hugs
wobbly
Helpful - 0
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