From bad to worse...Off topic

[michelleric]

Well, woke up and couldn't move my neck. Horrible neck, shoulder and going down my arm pain. Went to the surgeon who operated on me 8 weeks ago for 2 herniated discs in my neck. He examined me, and is treating me for a muscle spasm (prednisone, muscle relaxant) over the weekend. He said to call Monday, and if no better, will need an MRI. It is likely there is another herniated disc above or below the ones he fixed. WHAT!  I was SO upset by this news...cant imagine having to have another surgery. THEN, I got home and my husbands car was in the driveway. He was laid off today from FedEx. No notice, not warning....boom. This is such a scary place to be at the moment. I have not stopped crying all day. Too much at once. I also had to call my job and tell them I couldnt go in tomorrow and dont know what is going on with my health. The doctor gave me a note today to give them, but I am just feeling sick to my stomach about all of this.  I know it can be worse, and I am trying to see the silver lining, just having a hard time achieving it so far. I already have a brain MRI scheduled for Monday, but guess if my neck isn't better I will have to do the cervical MRI instead? Plus I don't know about insurance at this point. We have never been laid off before, thank goodness, so this is all new to us. My husband is in a state of shock, and I am just losing it. I am in so much pain, and just overwhelmed with it all. He told the kids about it tonight, and my oldest said he can bring napkins and ketchup packages home from school.  So sweet and so sad.
Got to go for the moment,
Thanks,
Michelle

[michelleric]

Yes, I am trying to be more positive. My husband has turned the corner (or for the moment anyway), and is seeing his lay off as an opportunity for improvement. He would like to work for a smaller company, and wants it to be more rewarding. I know tomorrow will be a bit of a difficult morning, getting up without going to work. One day at a time...

It was my fathers bday a couple days ago, so my siblings and my family brought dinner to their house. He was in the hospital recently and signed himself out. He is really doing poorly, very short of breath, a bit dementia, although that could be due to lack of oxygen. I worry for him, but am grateful at the same time he is here. Things can always be worse. So, yes, thanks, I guess I am trying for the 70% as this time with positive things.

My boss called me tonight, to see how things were going. She assured me that I was most important, and whenever I can make it back to work is fine with her. If I want to come for 1 hour or a whole day, will be great. They will be "lucky to have me" whenever I can make it. I have the best job with the most flexible and loving co-workers. I am very lucky. If they know I am coming they will put patients in, and have no problem canceling them if I cant make it. So, it is all good...

Thanks for having me count my blessings,
Michelle

[Lulu54]

Hi Michelle,
My new philosophy toward my life is something I have picked up from Tai Chi - our instructor urges us to follow the 70% rule.  If we get the form 70% correct he is pleased.  It is not about the perfection, but the trying.

Being an overachiever at times, I have picked up the number a bit and am applying the 80% rule to my life.  Yes, I have heart disease, MS and a husband with multiple chronic medical problems, along with 3 elderly parents in various forms of declining health.  

But then I look at everything else in my life - my children and grandchildren are healthy, well provided for, we have elderly parents still with us (86, 87, and 92 y/o), I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach unlike so many millions in this world that aren't so fortunate,  I'll stop with my list there but you get the idea.  

When I do the math, I figure about 20% of my life stinks from the complications, but that leaves about 80% that is pretty darn good.  Hence my 80/20 rule.  


Try to focus on the good and see if that will help you stop the tears,
Lu

[michelleric]

Thanks for your support. Yes, this just stinks. When I think I am doing better, I break down and cant stop crying. I know when day at a time, and I pray things will "feel" better for me. I have a question for you. My vision is SO blurry since yesterday in the right eye. I had ON Jan in the right eye, and a previous episode in the left eye in September. Is it possible the vision can still get blurry in the right eye, even though I thought it had cleared? I think all this stress and crying certainly can not be helping. I will call the doc tomorrow, as I have lots of calls to make tomorrow.

Yes, I wish you could come here and help me cry, not that I need help in the crying department. I cant say how much it means to come here and feel all this love and support. To just take a few minutes out of my disastrous life and feel the warmth and kindness that is so easily given out here.

Love,
Michelle

[Quixotic1]

I just tuned in here and I am so upset for you.  I wish I could come and just help you cry a little.  The wonderful people here will give you great advice like trying to get the brain and the cervical done at the same time, if you can handle that long in the machine with your post-op neck.

You and your family are in my thoughts and meditations now.  I believe that things will be okay.  Cry all you want, but also let others lift you up.

Quix

[michelleric]

Kathy, thank you for your words of encouragement. I tried to watch Oprah, but they were talking about foreclosure, Shut it off, I need some humor, as u said. Switched to Malcolm in the middle, which is my kids favorite show(they DVR it), and it was good. I am trying to see the "softer side of Sears". Dont know why that jingle is running through my head...I am a bit less teary, but just still in pain and don't know if the physical and mental are relating too much together. I am not even making sense, am I?

Heather, yes we will have Cobra. My husband wanted me to read it today, but my vision is particularly blurry today, couldn't do it. I think it is from too much crying. He said the paperwork should come within 30 days, but we are covered now. Just need to authorize it before I go for MRI on Monday. Although I am going to wait and see if I can get the "2 for1"special , with the Cervical and Brain MRI for 1 copay, as someone suggested.

Amy, thanks for your input too.

Thanks everyone for being here. I don't recall ever being so low, and it is nice to know I can come here for support. Means the world to me,
Michelle

[Amyloo]

Hi,  I don't know if this has been said in the above thread, but if your husband worked at least one day in April your coverage (should be) paid for till the end of the month.  Cobra should start (you start paying) eff. May 1st.  They cannot just cover you as an active employee for a couple of days a month and then drop your coverage mid month.

Best to check, (obviously) but companies pay premiums for a full month for their employees if they are working.  So maybe you could get your MRI's and such done all this month. God bless you Michelle.  I am really sorry, but the new Cobra law should be of great help to you.  Amy

[Heather3418]

Oh gosh girlfriend, when it rains it pours.  I cannot imagine what you and your husband are going through.  You with continuing health problems that you THINK would have been resolved with your surgery and now your husband layed off.

I have heard this so often lately, it really troubles me.  People with health problems, gets laid off from their jobs or their spouses getting laid off from theirs.  I know that you can get what they call "COBRA" insurance from FedEx for 12 months to around 16 months - I think- until you can find new insurance.  The premiums are high.  I hope at least that your precious hubby will be getting a good unemployment check from the State.  Does he have any profit sharing with the FedEx or stock?  If he does, I hope that he can get those from the company with no loss.

I am so sorry to hear everything your family is having to endure.  It's scary.

I hope you get some answers soon about your health.  I would think that your hubby has health insurance through FedEx through the end of this month.  But I DO know that you can apply for COBRA.  It's a law that you are elgible.

Please keep us updated.  I will be saying prayers for you and your family, if you dont mind.

Big Hugs and a soft shoulder,
Heather

[Fluffysmom]

Life is really hard sometimes.  

I woke up this morning not wanting to wake up, and then I noticed the sun was shining, and the dang birds wouldn't shut up.  I shuffled into the bathroom, looked out the window, and noticed the buds opening on the tree right outside.  I started to think that maybe I wanted to wake up after all.

I hope both you and your hubby are doing better today.  Focus on the good stuff in your life even as you try to figure out what to do next.

My roommate, the insurance expert, said that big companies like FedEx often will continue your insurance coverage through the end of the month.  See if the paperwork says that, or call Monday and check it out.  It would be great if you didn't have to delay your MRI .

If you're still having a hard time with crying and worrying, you could try watching a funny movie, see if you can get yourself laughing.  I can sometimes feel better by focusing on doing something creative, like making jewelry.  

Now that I've got myself up and showered, I'm thinking about a 15 minute ride on my recumbant exercise bike.  Exercise always makes me feel better, even when I feel like I can hardly crawl.  I just have to crawl down to that bike!

You take care, and remember that things will get better, and you have a caring support system here.

Hugs,

Kathy

[michelleric]

Thank you for your support. This board is a savior. I just went back and found very good information that Kathy gave slightlybroken about Cobra. I will reread it this weekend, and look through the papers hubby brought home. It is now almost 2:00 A.M., and I am still crying. I think something snapped inside. I just cant stop. Wish I had some xanax or something to take the edge off. Plus, I am just in severe pain it is hard to sleep anyway. My heart is breaking for my husband, he was just a lost soul tonight, and had a few too many... Life is hard sometimes.
Michelle

[rendean]

So sorry to hear of the newest developments. Please take care of Michelle. If you are strong then the boys will find comfort. Personally, my favorite is a good cry in the shower. No witnesses and no guilt about the crying jag that you have most assuredly earned and it''s effects on the rest of the family.

Lots of hugs and hope that the situation turns around soon!

Ren

[michelleric]

Thank you so much for all your kind words and support. You don't know how much it means to me right now. I am still crying as I type, typing a bit slower due to the neck brace, but typing regardless. I am just plain exhausted and will be heading up to my recliner soon. Thank you for the info about Cobra. yes, that is what we will be using, my husband has some paper work he brought home. Once my eyes can see better without the tears, I will read it and get some info. I will call the insurance Monday morning, and find out what is covered. Perhaps I will have to wait, I will find out. I feel like Forrest Gump, life is like a bowl of cherries, and today I got the pits. Hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight, and wake up feeling physically and mentally better. My 4 boys are now getting nervous, which is something I didn't want to happen. I must get better control of myself and have them not worry about all these grown up things. I will do better tomorrow...
Goodnight,
Michelle

[Fluffysmom]

I'm so sorry for all this pain and fear that you're going through.  My heart goes out to you.

It seems like my knowledge of insurance matters is finding more use lately.  I don't know if you read any of the posts about slightlybroken's situation, but if so, forgive me for repeating form what I said there.

I'm assuming you had insurance through your husband's job.  FedEx has 14 days to get COBRA paperwork to your husband.  As part of the new stimulus package, FedEx will be required to pay 65% of you insurance premiums for up to 18 months; you will need to pay 35% of the premium to FedEx.  They pay the whole amount to the insurance company.

You won't have a lapse in coverage, but until the paperwork and your premium are in, the insurance company will not pay for any appointments or tests, so it's best to get it taken care of as soon as possible.  It will probably be a bit of a shock just how much those premiums can be, but having no coverage would be a lot worse.

You should probably check with your insurance company before you have that MRI, just so you won't have a surprise bill.  Or, talk with the hospital where you'll have it done; maybe they can work with you on billing after your COBRA coverage is in effect.  It never hurts to ask.

I think there have been extensions added to unemployment, too.  Things could be worse, though they probably don't seem like it right now.  I hope all that cryng didn't tighten things up and make you hurt worse.

Try to relax, take you medications, use an ice pack if that works for you (I have a cervical one; it's my friend), and know that I empathize and care.  If you have any more questions about insurance, send me a note or PM.  My roommate is an insurance expert.

gentle hugs,

Kathy

[biowham]

Wow, that is just a crappy day all around. I'm so sorry for your news, and I will be hoping for some kind of light at the end of what we all wish for you is a very short tunnel.

Bio

[Janette2836]

Dang Michelle
My heart hurts for you!  The pain was more than enough then to find out about the job.  I am so sorry that you are going through all this right now.

Take care & know that we care so much for you & your family.

Janette

[Lulu54]

Dearest Michelle,
When you run out of tears let me know, because I have plenty to shed for you as well.  I can't believe this is happening to you and your family.  It seems like this story keeps being repeated everywhere we look these days.

Please put your arms around your shoulders as best as you can with all the pain, and giveyourself a loving hug from me to you.

give us all strength,
Lulu

[Sunnytoday]

OH wow!!! That's just way too much to handle at once!!!!!!!!

I could only think one thing- is there anyway that they can schedule the brain and cervical MRI together so you only have to pay one fee? I know that my doctor did that several months ago and only had to pay one co-pay instead of 2. It was very nice.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
(((((((((hugs))))))))))))
~Sunnytoday~