1312898 tn?1314568133

OT: Please pray for my family

First, I'm sorry I haven't been more faithful on the forum for the past 6 months, it seems like it's one thing after another lately.

My much beloved nephew is in need of prayer.  He has been in and out of ICU and regular wards now for a month.  He had two surgeries this past Summer to repair damage from falling off a cliff.  He had a systemic UTI and we thought we would lose him.  He had two surgeries last week and is now a paraplegic.  My heart is truly broken for him, I used to take care of him when he was little and he lived just next door to us.  

Our home has become a place of such sorrow.  We don't know what to do or how we will help him when he comes home.  It's just devastating.

My son that my partner adopted at 4 months and that I took care of for 8 years is now facing his third open heart surgery.  We are in the process of setting that up and finding a surgeon that can fast  track him off a ventilator.  I'm so worried about him.

On top of that my central apneas have increased so badly that I need to be changed from BiPap to an in home ventilator that requires more sleep studies.  The machine will cost $10,000.

When I'm not at the hospital, I sit with my sister and we are just devastated.

We are all just bewildered and confused about how we can take care of him.

If you can, can you please pray for us that we will have the strength and courage to get through this?

20 Responses
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1253197 tn?1331209110
Hi Red

Good to hear from you again and thank you for updating us about your nephew and son. It sounds as if your nephew is desperate to try and retain some control about what happens in his life and that it is important for him that he has input into his rehabilitation. It is hard to watch from the sideline and feel helpless but there is only so much you can do when you are struggling with your own health and personal family challenges. You are there for your sister and by providing her with support you are helping her deal with this enormous change and loss in her life. But your nephew is still alive and I am a strong believer in being positive. However none of us can tell or understand how your nephew is feeling and all we can do is join together with the power of prayer that he is given the strength to make the most of his life now.

Thinking of you and hugs as always

Sarah x
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1225331 tn?1333365769
Is your nephew staying at your sister's, or is he in a rehabilitation place or some sort of nursing home now? I'm guessing since he stopped therapy that he's still a paraplegic?  It sounds like he's in depression mode. It must be very difficult for someone who was so active, to instantly lose all of that. Too bad he won't let you all help him.

I hope Drew's heart surgery goes good once he does have it. Hopefully, this will be the last open heart surgery that he will have to endure.

I'm sending good thoughts that you and your family will find some relief soon.

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1523516 tn?1330044257
It;s so hard to understand why some things happen the way they do.

My family and I will be praying for peace, comfort and healing!!!
Much love,
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572651 tn?1530999357
No apologies needed, Red.  We know all of us only have so much time to spread across our days and you certainly have had your time filled with these problems.  I am so sorry to hear about both of these young men, what tragic turns for them both.

Stop through when you can and keep us up to date.
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1816210 tn?1327354884
I am soo very sorry for all the sadness.  My heart goes out to you.

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1312898 tn?1314568133
I want to thank all of you who sent your suggestions and heart-felt support for my nephew and for my Drew.  

I followed through with all your suggestions and referrals, some of them he refused and others at least helped me understand.  In the end, he left the hospital AMA and then stopped his physical therapy after only a week.  He won't let us help him or see him for the most part.  When I saw him at Christmas, he had huge pressure sores and his legs were about five times their normal size.  So, I worry that his outcome will be very poor.

The heart surgery was again postponed at the last minute.  Now they think we may be able to postpone until next Summer.

Thanks to all of you and your faithful prayers.

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900662 tn?1469390305
Sending you the best of wishes & prayer

Take care
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1437229 tn?1296070020
Hi, Red,

It certainly is difficult when we have to watch someone we love go through rough waters, but God has a way of bringing us strength and peace when we need it most.  I believe it will be the case for you and the rest of your family.  We are told that all we need do is ask.  So, there you are, you have asked---He will answer.

There is a ton of good information on Christopher Reeve's website.  I investigated it recently, and was amazed at the depth of help available for spinal cord injuries.  Check that site out also.  You may find answers there to many of your questions.  It is: www.christopherreeve.org .   I hope it serves you well.

I will be praying as well for your son.  Are you still in Ann Arbor?  Is there help at U of M for him?  Is he young enough to qualify for Mott Children's Hospital?  I believe they treat through age 18 or 21, or something like that.

Rest assured that there is much prayer and many good wishes out there on your behalf, mine included.

Most sincerely,
Helpful - 0
1225331 tn?1333365769
Before all of this, you were already having a rough time, and now you have all of this to work through as well.  
I'm sorry for all of these problems.

I hope you & your partner's son will find a good heart surgeon. It is always scary pulling them off the ventilator afterwards. My brother's wife had a heart attack about 2 yrs ago. Each time they went to try to take her off the ventilator, she got nervous, & couldn't breathe on her own, because she was freaking out. They decided what they would do is take her off of it, but not tell her that's what they were doing. She came right off of it then, without any problems.

With your nephew, I wonder if your sister can get a live-in nurse for him once he's out of the hospital?  My mom & dad were in a horrific car accident when I was a kid. In the accident, my mom broke her neck. The insurance company paid for a nurse to live with us for about a year/year and a half, until she was able to start doing a lot of things on her own again.  

You are a strong person, and you have been through so much. I know that you will all find the strength to get through all of this together.

love & hugs,
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198419 tn?1360242356
If you are not already apart of united spinal association - sign up there for the action mags - there is so much good info there
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198419 tn?1360242356
Red, I'm so sorry for such a blow to your family. Much will need to be done for your nephew as I know you already know. How old is he, and does he live alone? At what level is the injury? Will he need a vent?

Regardless, he'll be in rehab for quite sometime. I'm sooo very sorry. I can relate to what you are going through. Both Udkas and I have family members who are quads or paras - please hit us up privately if you need to chat in depth.

How recent was the accident? And, has the house been outfitted for SCI yet?

I will pray your son comes through this strong.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for telling us and allowing us to be apart of the prayers.

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1312898 tn?1314568133
Beema, Sarah, Ku and Bairdy,

Thank you so much for your thoughts, prayers and inspirational words.  We will remain strong as we can particularly when we are with Bryan.  Everything will take time to learn and get used to.

Sarah, thanks for your always loving spirit.  I will look up your your husbands friend and watch the youtube videos.  Hopefully, they will give some solace and inspiration to him.


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1168317 tn?1330262837
dear red
so sorry to hear of your truobles
stay strong and look after yourself and your family
best wishes
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1548028 tn?1324612446
I am so sorry for everything you and your family is going through.  I will say many prayers and know you are in my thoughts.  Just love each other and take one day at a time.
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1253197 tn?1331209110
Dear Red

I am so sorry to hear the tragic news about your nephew and cannot imagine how I would feel if I was in your shoes. It is particularly challenging when you are dealing with your own health issues.

Your nephew is going to need the support of his family which is clearly there to help keep him strong and help him to accept and come to terms with his disability.

An inspirational person is a friend of my husband and he is a journalist and the BBC Security Correspondent. In 2004 he was shot by Al-Quaeda in Saudi Arabia and nearly died. He was left a paraplegic but has turned his life around and achieved many things that normal bodied people have not done.  You can hear him talk on the internet if you google him and find him on You Tube. He speaks with honesty and inspiration and it may just help you and your nephew to listen to this to give him some hope.

You will remain in my thoughts and I send positive thoughts and prayers to you all.

With love and hugs

Sarah x

PS I have not been around a great deal either recently as I realised I was spending too long on the computer and not getting on with my life.
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Avatar universal
I am so sorry. Praying for you all.
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1312898 tn?1314568133
thank you Jen---that means allot to me

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338416 tn?1420045702
I'm so sorry, sweetie - this sounds horrible.  Nothing to say that can help - just my sympathies.
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1312898 tn?1314568133
Thank you so much Ren.  I haven't looked into that facility but am going to search it tonight.  It sounds so hopeful.  Since the family is going to be paying a great deal of money for his aftercare, this may be a real option that wouldn't cost much more.


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739070 tn?1338603402
I am sorry for all the tragedies in your house. As for your nephew, have you  looked into care at the Shepherd Spinal Center in Atlanta? They are fantastic!! Look up their web site. they do  miraculous things with such injuries and have a wall of fame for all the service personnel sent there to recover from  tragic wounds in the war.

I'm not sure about cost, etc but I do know they just built on site apartments for those who live out of town.

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