Off to group therapy

[Rena705]

Well I am off to another session...maybe I will open up and let them know just how much of a waste of precious health care dollars it is to have me there...I am not depressed...I need a NEUROLOGIST!!!

Lots of Hugs,

Rena

[doublevision1]

So my friend...how'd it go today?  Good news......yes?

It's hard to type with my fingers crossed.  :)  

[doublevision1]

I understand where this therapist is coming from.  He is probably missing some key elements in understanding what is going on, and is thinking that by simply 'apologizing' to your neurologist, the effect would be to disarm her and get her on your side.  Disarming your opponent is a means to an end, and can be very effective in getting your needs met.  It doesn't in any way mean you are appeasing the other party, or giving in.  In fact, this approach actually gives one greater control over the situation, by manipulating the other party and playing up to their need to have their ego stroked.  I know it sound disingenous and would feel like kissing a$$, but so what, if you win in the end.


Having said that, knowing your history with this dr in greater detail than this new therapist does, it sounds like the situation has broken down to the point where this approach wouldn't be effective, because:

1) it is not even clear exactly what you would be apologizing for [...for getting a 2nd opinion?...give me a break, doctors should ENCOURAGE this, not get mad about it!]

2) it would be really really hard for you to apologize with any appearance of sincerity, given your intensely negative, and justified, feelings toward her

and most importantly,

3) she won't see you!  So even if it was clear what exactly offended her, and even if you could stomach apologizing, she won't see you!  Talk about a breakdown in the dr/pt relationship.


The bottom line is that she is of the opinion that it is possible for MS to be inactive, that so-called inactive MS does not require treatment, and that you fall into this category.  So the issue of an apology in this case is a moot point.  

I think you are pursuing the appropriate course of action by requesting your GP to refer you to the MS clinic.  I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for the best possible outcome.

[Sunnytoday]

Rena, the last thing you need is a lesion counter for a neuro...and I understand. We 'are good' as my youth group says. I'm glad that you are ok with what I said. I'm also glad that you are able to smile through this and hang in there, just think only one more time and then you are out of that group therapy thing, okay! :)

I have to sigh, it's kinda sad when folks give Christianity a bad rap when they say that just praying and believing in God makes everything good. It doesn't... now does it? Personally, He helps me by walking through the tough times with me. I had to laugh when you talked about the singing.... that's me favorite part of church.... if you don't like anything else, at least show up for the singing.....

I like your mom's line of thinking Rena, she had a good thought there, sometimes you do have to stand up for what you belive no matter what. :)

I hope that you had a good night, and I'm quite happy to know that I'm safe and not going to be eaten, and that you are happy with my sunshiney self no matter what.

much (((((hugs))))))
~Sunnytoday~

[Rena705]

Sunny....as if I would eat you!  You are my SUNSHINE honey and you don't ever make me angry!  I look at this website as being more theraputic than anything else I can imagine and if I were to eat all the members here then where would I be!?  hehe

Anyway, I have been in situations in the past where I have had to bite the bullet and cough up an apology regardless of whether I was in the wrong or not but in this situation I can't, with a clean conscience, apologize to someone I have absolutely no respect for because that would be lowering myself to her sleazy standards and that is a rule that was ingrained in me from a very young age by my Mom.  "Don't ever lower yourself to someone else's standards just to appease them or appear that you agree with their beliefs!"  So I won't apologize to her and I really don't want to see her again anyway (truth be told) because I think she is a lesion counting neurologist with beliefs that stem from the dark ages.  I need someone that knows that MS is never benign and I don't think she would ever admit to the statement that "MS is never benign".

I agree Lulu...I will appease the therapist and all the other doctors that think I need this waste of time and go again next week but after that...forget it...I can't honestly see myself sitting there and being preached at...if that is therapy I would rather go to church and I don't particularly believe in "God".but at least at church you get to sing!!

Lots of Hugs,
Rena

[Lulu54]

Hey Rena,
It sounds like another fun  round of therapy - pretty gruesome if you have to hear that God cures and then told you have to treat your doctor like God as well.... A double punch to the psyche I would say.  So you get out of this purgatory after one more session, right?  Just do it the final time and then you can check this off of your doctor's request list and appear to be the compliant patient.

Hang in there - you can do this to make them all happy.

Lulu

[Sunnytoday]

oh gracious. I don't know what to say. I definetly think they just didn't know how to handle you and were grasping for straws. Unfortently that line about apolgizing probably wasn't said at the right time. I know that saying sorry has a time and a place, but if you feel you A)aren't in the wrong and B) don't need that doctor .... then an apology probably will do more harm than good becuase it will tell the doc. that you know you were wrong and he/she was right. BUT, (Rena, please don't eat me) I've had to apologize just to get the care I needed when I realized that I needed that doctor to work with me and there was no other way to get that without an apology, whether I or she was wrong.... I just apologized and we went from there (basically, say what you need to, sort of thing) i'M NOT SAYING THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO!!!!! I'm just saying that I've done this, other people have too and that's probably where this therapist was coming from.....

Hang in there, don't give up, and remember, we are always here for 'group therapy' whevener you need it!
~Sunnytoday~
PS, you still love me, right?

[Rena705]

Well  I went to group therapy and decided to "share".  I told them from the beginning what I was dealing with and how the whole story went and I was asked all the same questions that I am asked over and over...i.e. why don't you get a new gp, why don't you get another dr. to refer you to a neurologist, why don' tyou just walk in to the neuro's office and ask straight out what the problem is...and on and on...

I told them about the letter from the MS Society stating that the gp may be concerned that I am doctor shopping and that I may be wasting precious healthcare dollars and then I asked the therapist if this session was being paid for by healthcare and he responded that he hoped so....I then asked if perhaps these healthcare dollars might be wasted with me being there since I would probably feel much better if I was just seen by a neurologist that would take me seriously!

I know they were trying to help but the icing on the cake was when the therapist advised that I APOLOGIZE to the neurologist even though I did nothing wrong in my mind other than to seek medical help from a different neuro when she refused to help me!!!  He said I perhaps "I should swallow my pride and apologize because after all the neurologist is human too"   HAH...what a joke...I didn't do anything wrong and I tried and tried to explain that to him but he had his mind set!  One other "patient" advised that her friend has MS and she just puts her life into the hands of God and she has been fine for years...well I am sure some of you know what I wanted to say but I just responded that I was very happy for her friend and suggested that perhaps it was just the course her disease had taken and that MS treats everyone differently and there is no way of knowing what course the disease will take in each individual.

I have to go back next Wednesday to see a different therapist and then I think that will be the last time.  I can't justify spending and hour to get there and an hour to get home and $7.00 for 3 hours of parking every time!  I can't see where it is going to help me and if they tell me that I am angry then I will let them know that yes I am with good reason...now get me into see an MS Specialist will ya?!?!?!

Hugs,
Rena

[Wobbly]

Oh yes... it's so frustrating when you have to do things like this when you know how your body feels and when you want to see a Neurologist...when do you see your GP?

hope the session goes well... hang in there and chin up...

take care
wobbly
undx