I think that u did very good by just saying thank you nothing more. So, that's good. I think that if he tries to continue to keep communicate up which it does sound like a start. That u simply need to say I'm sorry but, I'm not doing well right now I can't talk. That way no feeling r hurt and u keep working on your health because that what's important. Not, what family think or feel even though they should be supportive. It's not always the case. There needs to be boundaries set up. And, maybe in time they will see and understand why u did what u did. It's sad to say but sometimes people don't realize things until they r completely out of the picture. I think that he needs to get his life fixed before things can ever really be fixed with u and him.
This is only my opinion but, I can relate to this because my family is in denial of all my health issues and don't support me in any way. But, I can honestly say its ok because I refuse to surround myself around negative people and things. It's out of my life and will continue to be like this. I don't feel bad anymore because the truth is I have tried many, many, times to fix my family.
So, I know in my heart I've done everything I can do to change it and above all god know that I have and so at the end he is the only one we have to answer to. Nobody else.
Do what's in your heart and what you need for your health. Do not get wrapped into this u have a enough to deal with...... He will come around in time on your terms if he really cares about u and your health.
Your doing the right thing....... Stay positive, and stand your ground... It's called tough love
Hugs, hugs
Misty
Thanks for your comment Misty.
I hoped I handled it well; there can be so many self-doubts when things are so emotionally charged.
I do need a break from every part of this for a while and I know I have to find a way that works for me to keep him at a distance. So lack of friendliness is going to be my continued path along with ignoring phone calls when or should they come. If it is something that truly has to be addressed I will only respond with an email of very few words. Again, anything to impress upon him I do not want the contact.
If I tell him I am not doing well now and can’t talk then he will just call the next day or in a couple days so it will not stop the cycle, unfortunately. Besides, I have also learned it doesn’t matter how I am feeling in the end, all things will stay the same. Sad as that sounds. I went through this half of 2010.
I am sorry to hear your family reacted to your MS the way they did. That is horrible. I applaud your strength. I can only imagine how hard that was to live with and separate yourself from. Thank you for sharing..
You’re right some distance for a while and my brother may finally really get that our relationship has to be on my terms if it is at all. I have set all the boundaries and he more than understands I do not want to be so close or talk/see each other more than occasionally as it used to be prior to him moving to town. Then it was Holiday’s, other special events, and other sporadic occasions
Man I so don’t want to get wrapped up into this. I have been setting the boundaries for more than a year and it is hard to be heard. I had been nice and it went nowhere and then by this fall my nice approach turned into hurtfully blunt – that tough love thing - hence, all the tension around Xmas.
Well that’s where I am at, I didn’t get a response email today so that is a good sign..
One more thank you-thanks for weeding through my terribly long, winding, difficult to follow post.
Appreciate your being there for me
Do what is best for your health! I have excluded all who are negative and do not try to support Jordan and our family. Lost what I thought were friends but kept the real friends. Hurt for a while but in the end it is all about making things better for Jordan and our family. Positive influences. It has made things much easier all in all. It's hard to put your foot down and stand strong when you are really nice inside!lol Hang in there and just keep concentrating on you and what is important. Wishing you the best!
Thank you for your support and sharing your experience.
You're right it is sooooo hard to put that foot down and stand strong. I find I think of him frequently and the feelings are so mixed. But I know I have to do this no matter what.
My best to you.