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Avatar universal

Am i a bad person?

Okay so i’m a minor. Awhile back i was looking at some pornography and at the time i had fantasies (the usual) student teacher type stuff (etc) and i always thought it was cool bc i was picturing myself as the student and not the other way arond aka fantasizing ab being a predator bc that would be gross. I thought it was cool bc i was the age the erotica was written about or the role play was about aka whatever it was it featured a girl my age (a minor) and since i imagined myself in these sexual senarios anyways i didnt see the difference ab reading ab a girl who was my age. Then a couple weeks ago i was looking at a sexual picture and it was an adult but the owner put a #teen in the caption and i realized that by clicking like on the post (the erotica or pictures etc) that i was supporting the people on the other end of that fantasy aka the people who imagined themselves as the predators and i started FREAKING the hell out out like crying for hours about how i accidentally supported that **** and how i was a bad person who deserves to suffer for it. I unliked and reported the post of course (i also started freaking out ab if i did it bc it was the right thing to do or get rid of the ocd feeling but i came to the conclusion that it was guilt and thats what happens when u do something wrong so i did fixed it bc reporting it) but i started remembering ive liked erotica or stuff in the past that featured someone my age and an adult and thats when i started thinking “i deserve to suffer like his god what if i go to hell im not deserving of redemption” bc i have strong morals and frankly theyre amplified bc of my ocd. I talked to my therapist and she said basically you know whats right or wrong so just reboot ur mind and forgot about the old stuff and go forth. I’m like okay and now i just tell myself i didnt know any better and i wouldnt do it now. I then remembered an episode of buffy the vampire slayer and two dudes who put a girl under a spell and were gonna sleep with her and the spell wore off before anything happened and she told them that thats rape and the two boys were like “what? Omg we didnt- no we werent trying to-“ whatever and i thought **** them attempted *** rapists but now im like i didnt know any better just like they “didnt” so like am i just as bad as them? I think they deserved to suffer so should i? What if any person saw that post with likes on it and thought yea this is cool i should do this in real life ppl think its okay. I mean i can go thru all my tumblr likes and try to find them and report them but the first was probably years ago and i probably have double didget thousands in between it and i just dont ******* know what to do
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Avatar universal
P.S I just realised your name is Hannah too! Yay us and our cool name!

Be kind to yourself!

I used to think by watching lesbian porn it made me a lesbian! It’s easy to overthink things! Meditate, breathe and research psychology it helps with these things.

Best of luck :)
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Avatar universal
Please, you need to chill the **** out. You aren’t going to hell for any of that, hell and heaven are just ways to scare you into doing good although you don’t need religion to do good. If god punished you for that then he is a wanker. That aside..

Fantasising is different to reality that’s why it is a fantasy. Being the teacher or student in this situation is no better then the other. It is a fantasy and so it is not real!

It is easy to really freak out and feel like you are gross or not a normal human if you get turned on by something taboo or something out of the norm. But unless it is harming anyone or really immorally wrong (child pornography etc) then please be less hard on yourself. People need to think more about the psychology behind why they are doing something or enjoying something.

Eg. Watching and enjoying role-play rape pornography does not mean you actually think rape in real life is acceptable behaviour. It is most likely simply a fantasy you enjoy because it is appealing sleeping with someone you don’t know and that person having their way with you. The rapist most often has control over the person too so maybe you like the idea of being controlled or feeling powerless.
All very common.

Also each to their own but if religion makes you feel guilty about enjoying life or makes you hate yourself then I don’t see the benefit of that.

Hope that helps! Good luck!
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