Automatic involuntary intrusive thought

[webfootlover]

I am going crazy! I have had the same thought in my head every day several times a day for the past 4 months. it will not go away. The thought/phrase or words kill myself pops in my head. I am not suicidal so I'm not worried about the thought. The reason I'm stressed by the thought/phrase is the frequency and how many times a day it comes in my mind, and why wont it leave? :o( its so automatic...I wont even be thinking about the thought, and then all of a sudden the thought pops in my head. I actually had this same thought before, but it wouldnt leave my mind for almost 3 years and I'm really scared it will take that long to leave my mind this time, or worse even longer than before!  I feel like nobobdy else with OCD has this problem because I have the same thought, where other people's intrusive thought involves things there really afraid of, and I'm not afraid or want to kill myself.  Mine is just this one particular thought. its actually more of a phrase than a thought. Just two words kill myself keeps popping in my head. Has anyone had this specific kind of OCD before? Or something similar in natuire? If so please write me back. Its so depressing to have the same thought everyday for months that wont leave my mind :o( If someone would like to e-mail me instead of a post, feel free to e-mail me at ***@****. I actually prefer an e-mail but a post on the website is ok too. I appreciate any help or comforting advice anyone can give me-Purrsyngurl      

[ChickenLicken23]

Yes - I have the thought that the skin of my fingertips has been scraped off and is hanging in shreads - its often just there subconsciously but making me uncomfortable - It happened on a long car journey when I had nothing to distract me and I had to just sit there and try and breathe deeply and look at my fingers to reassure myself. It's not like I believe it had happened but I feel the squeamish feeling like it has. I have OCD, never diagnosed though as I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about it - but its normally things I have to do not thoughts like this. What does it mean?

[Printer989]

I constantly think thoughts that i will go to hell when i die if i don't do this that or the third. And if i don't stop doing certain things i will go to hell, Like if i don't stop watching horro movies, or when a homeless person ask me for money if i don't give them money i will go to hell etc.

I'm also obsessed with this computer, constantly doing virus and spyware scans, I can be at the grocery tore, bank, work, and thoughts about my computer will pop in my head. every other thought is computer computer computer.

Also just like pepelepiu above, I hear these sounds in my head similar to how it sounds when you call a fax machine with your phone.

[hmf099]

I feel you guys, I have obsessive scary thoughts as well. I remember reading this post when you originally posted it, unless it was someone else with the same problem. These thoughts really terrify me, I'm in therapy and on meds to help though. My newest fear is similar to the other death ones with a twist. Someone offered me money ro do something illegal and ofcourse I decided not to, but I considered it for a few minutes so now the fear is "if I would consider breaking the law with something as small and petty as that, what else would I consider"? So yea now the fear is back. Let me know how you are doing.

[pepelepiu]

Hey i suffer from pure O too.
Untill now i have never read anyone describing my symptoms so well. For me the thoughts i have are strangers and can happen at anytime of the day , and usually its thoughts " saying something about me or commanding me " . Ive been diagnosed with pure O , but somedays like today i wonder if i dont have scizofrenia . The explanation that the doctor gave me in the diagnose is that i am aware that the sentences come from my mind, and a scizofrenic cannot ...
Well , the thoughts i had since this began besides the usual fear of harming others in pure O , were mostly " your going to hell " , " kill ( someone ) , " kill yourself " , " youve ruin your life " , your crazy and you dont know it " .
This goes on and on . Some days or seasons im better , some days im wrose . Ive had it for 4 years , took anti depressives 3 years but this year i decided to stop it cos i was feeling better .

This thoughts come more often when i use the pc to much and when im alone , sad or stressed .

When i have them i also have alot of noise in my head , like when you just leave a discotec especially at night when everything is turned off . Even the noise of electricity anoys me and makes them more regular .

Your email didnt show up in the post , you can write me to filipaguardado at    yahoo. com. br

best wishes for you

[AHawkins]

Yep definitely ocd :) Well as much as most people deny it. Everyone gets those weird urges that your experience. Some people get them once a year while others get them everyday. People who have ocd tend to obsess over these thoughts and begin to ponder if they are going insane or falling into another reality. Even though you say your not thinking about killing yourself I 100% guarantee you are thinking about it without even knowing it. Seek mental help so you can control this before it negatively affects your life