Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Cheating Intrusive Thoughts

I'm 16 weeks pregnant and have been having obsessive thoughts that my boyfriend might not be the father even though I've not had sex with anyone else.  These have been going on since I was about 10 weeks pregnant and I've obviously got a long road ahead of me til the baby is here.  I literally cannot take it anymore, it's like living in a nightmare.

The month I got pregnant, my boyfriend and I went out drinking for the first time ever, according to my dating scan the baby was conceived the day after that..  it's been driving me mental.  I'm convinced I had sex with someone and don't remember it or I got pregnant from some sperm off a toilet seat. I keep imagining my baby coming out a different race and the man I adore so much leaving me on my own with a baby that I have no clue how it came to be and our families thinking I cheated.

I keep going over my dates, trying to convince myself I conceived before that date (which I could have obviously) but nothing gives me any peace, I'm terrified, I can't sleep or settle, I'm crying all the time and I can't live another 5 months like this.  I don't know what to do, is it even possible I could have had sex with someone and just not remember it, or the whole toilet seat scenario?

I have no one to talk to in real life as I'm scared they'll think I actually did cheat which I haven't to my knowledge, I just.. I really don't know anymore.  Somebody help?

5 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
1699033 tn?1514113133
Also you are posting on some pretty old treads.  Better to start your own if you need more help.  JGF
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Hi there....Have you been diagnosed with OCD?  The pattern you explain is really common.  Your hormone changes may also be playing into this as well.  But what people with OCD do is they key in on something from the past and they take it and they catastrophize it.  So you not being able to recollect every single moment of that night coupled with your pregnancy has made a pretty fine scenario for your mind to plague you with.  Just the words "It would be devastating if it were true" has taken you from the thought to the what if to the devastating end.  

I have been super drunk before and I can even remember bits and pieces and would absolutely know if I did anything with anyone.  Actually when I was younger I did do something with someone and guess what...I remember it because it actually did happen.  

Honestly I think this is stress/hormone induced and maybe you should discuss with your doctor if you are having a hard time with your daily life routine.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am in the same situation and I'm so happy to have found this. My husband and I got in a huge fight one night and I went to the bar without him and stayed out until 4 am. I met some people there and was venting about our fight to them, mind you they were strangers, and they decided to cheer me up so we stayed and drank together. I got super drunk and don't specifically remember the entire night but I don't think I would have slept with one of them. I was also on my period at the time and do have a memory of sitting in our street as talking to my brother and sister-in-law for about an hour or more. I just can't put together the entire night. Anyway- I found out I was pregnant in late November and then started havig bad feelings at about 28 weeks of pregnancy- I am now 33. I just can't piece together the night, and don't think I would have done anything. I keep playing that night over and over in my head along with a few others- but this is the one that I'm worried about. I really don't think I could have slept with someone but I just can't get it out of my head that this isn't my husbands baby. It would be devestaing if it were true- I don't know what I'd do, but I am miserable now. I can't get excited about being pregnant- every time my husband talks about the baby- which is all te time-!i feel guilty. ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASE?! I feel so lost and alone right now!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you so much for replying!

Yea you're right, I do remember everyone I've had sex with drunk or not!  I never thought of it like that, that really has given me some comfort today :)

I'm just not familiar with these kinds of intrusive thoughts so I can't calm myself from them as I convince myself if I'm having these thoughts, I must have done something wrong if you get me.  Mine started off with one thought when me and my boyfriend were joking what if our baby came out a different race, then I actually started to think "what if it did!!" etc and it just spiraled from there!  It's sad how just one passing thought can cause us all this grief.

Really, thank you again for replying, you've really helped me today.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I've never been pregnant, but I can pretty much guarantee that is your OCD trying to feed your brain a new story..A few weeks ago I was relaxing on my front porch sipping tequila and having a pretty peaceful sunday night. i ended up getting pretty tipsy, passing out on my bed and waking up the next morning. At some point a little voice in the back on my mind whispered "geez i hope no one snuck into your apartment and had sex with you while you were sleeping..and there it is. I think I actually convinced myself it really happened (even though there was no evidence that anything like that ever happened..) Did i lock my doors? Did someone watch me go inside? I even started watching my neighbors to see who looked suspicious (yikes.) If you had sex with someone, I think you would probably remember something...how did you get home? who were you with? there would be memories of something..I have gotten pretty hammered, throw down sloppy drunk, but i remember every person I had sex with (even if I'd rather not). If you think about it you probably do too. Maybe not all the details..but we know something happened..I think OCD is fueled mostly by fear...and if there isn't really anything to be afraid of at that moment in time our OCD brain will create a story to feed itself...if that makes any sense. OCD turns slight possibility into probability and then fact.. I could only imagine how your OCD may or may not be affected by racing pregnancy hormones so maybe take that into consideration too.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community

Top Personality Disorder Answerers
1699033 tn?1514113133
Somewhere in, MD
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.