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Avatar universal

Do I have HOCD

I am a 16 year old female. I've only ever been attracted to guys and guys, only been in relationships with guys, and only ever kissed guys, I would never want to be with another girl, ever.

But lately I have been very aroused by lesbian porn something about it really turns me on, which is very different from a lot of HOCD sufferers, who say gay/lesbain porn disgust them.
Well I hate this because I very strongly DO NOT WANT TO BE GAY or even bisexual. I would never date a girl or want to have sex with a girl, the porn I find very arousing, and straight porn very nasty, hardcore  and demeaning to women.

So I ask myself "Am I a lesbian/bisexual?" and I've been focusing on this very much. I want to have relationships with boys only, not girls, or even actually have sex with women ever, but I keep saying 'you're definitely bisexual"
I don't have anything wrong with people who are bisexual I just don't want to be, and I've heard straight girls can enjoy lesbin pron

Is this normal, or am I bisexual...i really do not want to be bisexual, nor would I want to actually ever have sex with a girl as I said, but now everytime I see a girl I think "would you want to date/have sex her, are you lying to yourself'
And i;ve been focusing on this feeling that i'm gay for weeks now
I want to grow up and get married to a man,and have children, but I can't shake this feeling that 'm gay and lieng to myself, someone help me.
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Avatar universal
"I've only ever been attracted to guys and guys, only been in relationships with guys, and only ever kissed guys, I would never want to be with another girl, ever. " Yes I would say you definently have hocd.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Hi there.  HOCD is very, very common as you can see from the forum.  You are reading too much into the porn and its attraction.  If you watched it enough I'm sure you would become bored with it.  

The fact that you cannot see yourself in a relationship, sexual or not, with a woman, then how could you possibly be gay?  My take on being gay is we are born gay or we are not.  We don't just wake up one day and boom we are gay.  The fact that guys have been your thing means that guys are still your thing.  

If you can't get past this thought, and stop watching porn just because it will become a test in a way and testing is bad for OCD people, then you may want to think about seeing a psychologist to learn cognitive behavioral therapy.  
Helpful - 0
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