Follow up to my initial post. Please respond!

[Helpless0100]

Please read my initial post and then another link which I will share at the end of this.


Am I being irrational?
Helpless0100 Jul 05
For over 15 years I have been OCD and it developed strongly into a severe obsession with fear of HIV. I do not like the color red because I associate it with blood, I fear people would leave needles places in order to infect me on purpose, I have a hard time in public places and I even get nervous getting my blood drawn at doctor's offices because I fear they would use a dirty needle to infect me. Most recently I fear that someone threw a hypodermic needle in my yard because they were upset with me since a few months ago the kids next door had a party and the music was loud late at night and I called the cops on them to quiet down. Now here is what happened my husband was trimming trees and bushes in our yard and he was cleaning up the branches and bushes he trimmed off the ground and he said while he was picking up this stuff ( he was not wearing garden gloves) he said something poked his finger. He said it was a sharp branch maybe a thorn or something that sort of felt like a sting or poke but immediately looked at his finger and saw no blood then he looked at what may have done this to his finger and he said he saw nothing but what he was picking up ( branches and stuff) I immediately thought omg what if the kids next door were partying with friends and were using needles and threw used needles into my yard with the intent to have us get poked by them. My husband thinks I'm being completely irrational and said that he would have seen a needle and it was not a needle and I am so worried. I asked my mom and some friends and they said they would not have thought like me and would not have automatically thought needle and that I'm just thinking that way because I am so afraid of needles and HIV. They said it is definitely me being irrational. I need another person's advice and I need the truth as to whether this sounds irrational or if I should be concerned about HIV. I know it didnt poke me but since it was my husband we have sex and I'm worried now I have HIV from this incident. Please help me and let me know what you think and if this is just my anxiety? Also I recently posted this on a HIV helpline where u ask questions and the volunteer responded and marked my question as HIGH RISK category and basically said that being poked by a needle is high risk and the situation I described that I should get testing or PEP and now I'm freaked out because deep down I know I'm being ridiculous. I literally have woods all around my house and my husband said over and over again he did not see a needle and that it had to be a sharp branch he cut or thorn or anything could have been a bee sting he said he did not think needle and that I'm being ridiculous! I'm wondering why would the aids helpline volunteer put my question in a high risk category and basically tell me I should be concerned and get testing. I know I was looking for reassurance and that is not what that helpline is for but in the past, I've asked other questions that my OCD has caused me to be anxious about in regards to possible HIV and the responses were always " we cannot give possible what of answers and that I sound like my anxiety is getting the best of me and my questions were always in the no risk category". Maybe they just answered this question because they basically were saying yes a needle stick is a high risk and completely avoided the part where I was being irrational. I mentioned I have severe HIV phobia so why would they tell me I should be worried. I never said there was a needle I asked if they thought it could have been one. Again I was looking for reassurance and instead got that it was high risk. Please answer my question and tell me what your thoughts are. Please know that this is something that is always on my mind. I constantly walk looking at the ground wherever I go because I'm afraid of needles and like my husband said why would the neighbors just throw a needle in our yard with Hope's that we may get poked and we have no reason to think these kids shoot up with needles they are just kids hanging out in the yard with friends most likely if anything drinking but my mind automatically things needles and HIV and that they want to get us back for calling the cops on them months ago. Please HELP ME AND TELL ME IF THIS STORY SOUNDS IRRATIONAL should I be worried? Why would the HIV helpline answer my question as. High risk question and tell me to get tested basically I should be concerned. Because of this phobia I have in the past probably had like 10 HIV tests for different scenarios and now I feel like this is an actual real risk. Please let me know what you think I cannot stop thinking about this and have no one to talk to about it!!!

That was my initial post here but here is the other place I posted and the response they gave me.  I'm scared and worried and based off two responses here I was told it's me being irrational but why is an HIV helpline responded to me saying this is high risk. Please read and respond I can't rest I'm so worried.

http://helpline.aidsvancouver.org/question/please-answer-my-question

[CurfewX]

This is the same as your other post.  Unfortunately, you received a very bad answer from someone on that other forum - the person who responded copied and pasted an answer without reading your full question, and posted on the WRONG assumption that your husband got stuck by a needle.

Please, for your own sake, seek treatment for your irrational fears.  I'm not judging you, because it's not your fault, but you need help before this phobia ruins relationships and your ability to enjoy life.  This is not rational or realistic thinking, and nobody in this, or any other online forum, can give you the help you need.

[Helpless0100]

Hello, yeah I posted the same question as my other because I was not sure if people could read what I was referring to. I'm sorry. I wanted to post the one to the aidsvancouver website and their answer to me marking it as high risk. I guess I didnt think about that. You really think they didnt really read or understand and just copied and pasted their answer? I never knew needle pokes are high risk?  You think it would be ridiculous of I asked my husband to get tested in a couple months

[Helpless0100]

Probably would be ridiculous. What poked him though I need to know, that's what it killing me. I'll never know

[CurfewX]

Yes, I can tell for sure that they didn't read your entire post.  FYI, I'm a community leader here in our HIV Prevention forum, so trust when I tell you that there's no way I would give you the response they gave you, having read your entire post.  A regular needle poke is not high risk.  It would be high risk if it were an injection drug needle, with a syringe attached, and the plunger from the syringe were pushed into a person.  That is NOT what happened here.  I can assure you that a person would know.

It would be ridiculous to ask your husband to test, and it would be ridiculous of him to test even if you asked him.  Accommodating your irrational fears is not healthy.  It gives legitimacy to your fears and will actually feed your anxiety.   The problem here is NOT that your husband might have been exposed to HIV - he was not - so a test will not solve the problem.  Your problem is anxiety or OCD, and that is what needs addressing, not testing for a disease your husband does not have.  If you get him to take a pointless test next month, then you're going to get into an endless cycle of asking him to test every time your mind invents something that happened.

You may never know for sure what poked your husband.  You're going to have to find a way to live with the fact that sometimes people get pokes, scrapes, or cuts without knowing exactly how they got there.  

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this, and I hope you do find someone who can help you.