Hi There,
I don't know whether this is an OCD or not but it is definitely an anxiety. So my story was, on December 11th i received an oral sex from a CSW, i was using condom by that time and i'm absolutely sure i was protected, the oral sex activity is actually quite brief only last for about a minutes or two, and i came in the condom, NO intercourse whatsoever anal or vaginal and it ended just like that. I have been tested for common STD (Syphilis, Gon, HSV 1 & 2, Hep B and Hep C) and HIV at the right time and all my test are negative and conclusive.
Trying to find closure and to leave this traumatic experience behind me, on April 1st, i went to location where i met the CSW from my exposure, to know whether she's around and i want to ask her myself if she had any diseases or any indication of a disease. I forgot her name unfortunately, so i ask around another CSW on that district. And i am scared, i don't know why but i am scared. I am afraid that they will give me HIV just by talking to me or even by breathing the same air, i realize that is ridiculous, because i don't even touch them and i just talk to them and that is. My heart is racing and i have an intrusive thought that i have lost control and do that stupid similar exposure again which will annulled all my test result and take me back to where i started 4 months ago and forgot about it. I know that i did not done anything, i just talked to them, i was riding my motorbike that other day and i did not even get off my bike while talking to them. But i still troubled and still have doubt and i am scared that i have contracted diseases from it, even though I KNOW EXACTLY that nothing happen that day, i just talked to a couple of the CSW in that area, and when i did not get any information about the whereabouts of the CSW in my exposure, i immediately went home and never went to that district again and will never will.
I kindly looking forwards for your opinion and advice.
Kind Regards.