Hocd

[Hi2016]

I would really like if someone could help me please. I have severe anxiety and I would suffer a lot from ocd also In general. I am absolutely terrified of the idea of becoming a lesbian it genuinely freaks me out so much ( I’m not homophobic I just know it’s not for me) I would absolutely hate if a girl touched or kissed me or would make me feel so uncomfortable. However I feel like I get so panicky whenever I think about it and I freak myself out because I don’t know what happens in my groin (it’s an uncomfortable feeling/sensation I certainly do not like it). I have a boyfriend who I’m absolutely mad about I love him to bits but I’ve got myself so terrified that maybe I’m in denial (even though I would hate if another girl touched me) and I have always been “boy obsessed” as my friends have said. I feel like over the past while I have become so depressed and I am genuinely terrified because my life’s dream is to marry a husband and have children. I honestly want to just die at the minute because I can’t concentrate on anything. I feel like I have distorted my whole life and now I don’t know what I am anymore. I feel so lost and scared because I feel that if I were 100% straight would I be having these worries/ doubts and uncomfortable sensations? I am terrified my boyfriend is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I would actually rather die than not be with him.

[specialmom]

Hi.  Sorry this is so distressing to you.  Would it surprise you to know that many 100 percent straight, never BEEN with someone of the same sex people actually fantasize about the same sex?  Ya, it's a pretty common fantasy. It is erotic. Forbidden.  And tantalizing.  And they aren't gay nor will they become gay.  It's their fantasy world and not something they act on.  You have a boyfriend. Go with that.  And try to just remember the thoughts in our head are not that serious. They are just thoughts.