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Avatar universal

Hocd or gay/ bi and other ocd thoughts

I've written a post on here before and I've gotten better then worse in the past two days. I've started gettin thoughts about death months ago but they came back today and I'm not getting thoughts that I'm bi when I got better I knew I wasn't gay or bi now I'm not sure. I don't know if my mind playing tricks on me or I'm going crazy and I'm in denial and scared. I'm numb and can't panic I don't know why because I'm scared to death and I'm really feeling suicidal. I just don't want to be gay or be with a women. I dont like women that way I never have. It im not panicking enough that means I'm gay , if I look at women that means I'm gay, and if I'm too nice to people that means I like them. I just don't know what to do. Please help
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1699033 tn?1514113133
Reassurance seeking will do that...you will feel better for like 5 seconds and then go right back to where you were before.  So since you said "mum" I take it you are in Europe and have socialized medicine?  If so, then I urge you to see your primary care doctor so that you can star the ball rolling as far as getting a psychology consult.  Also he/she may be able to prescribe some klonopin to you so that you can get some relief from the thoughts for a bit.  Also there are some good books out there that you can get...

Overcoming OCD by Christine Purdon

and

Self-Coaching by Joseph Luciani
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Listen- This is VERY common.  You are NOT the only person who experiences this.  These types of thoughts are called "intrusive thoughts."  They can make you feel so isolated and sad.  It's important to reach out to a counselor/therapist so that you can sort out these thoughts.  I'm not saying what your sexual orientation is, but a professional can definitely help you sort it all out.  My family has many different forms of anxiety/ocd and I know what it's like to have thoughts that you just can't let go of.  Once you seek help, you will learn how to combat these thoughts, that you may feel just aren't TRULY how you feel.  Please seek help and don't be afraid of it!
Helpful - 0
20050727 tn?1489133390
Dude, there's nothing wrong with being nice to the same sex, that's just called having common/ or human decency. And there's nothing wrong with being gay/bi/straight (I am personally attracted to the personality that a person has, not their bod). The only thing that really matters, is that you can feel comfortable with yourself, regardless of your sexual orientation. You're sexuality doesn't define who you are as a person.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Good news!  Good luck and remember to tell them everything.  They can't fix what they don't know is broken.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
It went okay, didn't go as good as I thought it would, so I'm trying to find some else, but thank you
Avatar universal
Thank you, I noticed the more and more I keep searching for reassurance I get more thoughts arguing with me, telling me different things and I'm going to be seeing a therapist tomorrow who is going to be helping me
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Hi there...you need to talk to your parents ASAP about your anxiety and thoughts.  There is help in the form of a psychologist.  Our brains are wired a bit differently and a psychologist can teach you how to deal with the thoughts (which are not real BTW) so that you can get control over them instead of them controlling you.  Let me know how you are doing.  
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Thank you, for replying it just doesn't feel right anymore I keep losing my anxiety and just getting arousal and no anxiety, I've talked to my mum about as I kept getting coming out urges so I told her what was wrong felt better then got worse.
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