Hocd reducing.

[neverinpeace]

I have been improving a lot better, I still get anal sensations times like I want a guy up there that still bother me and make me feel weird but, now my anxiety has reduced dramatically. now I get thoughts about being in a relationship and etc with a guy and it doesn't seem bad and almost like its what I want but I really don't and i don't get anxiety over this, and I get a bit scared but not really that I don't get anxiety. like it seems like it wouldn't be bad to be with a guy. whenever I see an attractive guy I try to think "would I see myself with him" etc and my mind doesn't really react bad....only sometimes. Usually yeah I can admit a guy is good looking but these feelings are confusing, its like I see myself only with girls but my mind tells me that I would also want to be with guys, and I honestly dont want anything with a guy besides friendship. Before Hocd I never saw laughing with my guy friends or having fun with them as a type of attraction but now after this, its like I see myself laughing and etc as a form of love for them and I dont want that. please help

[bringmejoy]

It's great to hear you are improving! Have you read the book i suggested on your last post? Reduced anxiety levels don't actually mean that you are getting worse. It is actually a good thing because it means the fear to the though is being reduced, and that's one of the main goals - to get rid of the fear. You said it yourself - 'I honestly dont want anything with a guy besides friendship'. But for the purpose of getting better, don't argue with it when you get a thought about being with a guy (I know it sounds stupid but if you've read the book you will understand why). Have you stopped checking? Well done if you have because that's a big step. Keep going, this recovery takes time!

[neverinpeace]

unfortunately not, my device can't receive that file which saddens me. & yeah this just feels really bad and since ive lost anxiety, it has felt like i want these thoughts, or that id enjoy them and i end up thinking about it non stop, but with less worrying and I guess its a step right?

[123tushar07]

I have tried to explain cognitive behavior therapy in brief:

There are two parts of cognitive behavior therapy 1)cognitive therapy 2)behavior therapy

In cognitive therapy we change the response to these thoughts and in behavior therapy we deliberately expose our self to  these thoughts

so first you have to do cognitive therapy , by changing your response to these thoughts

1)don't try to stop these thoughts,let them pass away,don't fight with them, the more you fight , more they get strong and repeat in your mind.

2)don't feel guilty to these thoughts,these thoughts are due to ocd, these are not your thoughts

3)whenever your anxiety gets high , try to focus on your breathing, it will calm you down.

4)don't do checking like masturbating to gay porn to check whether you get excited by or not,checking is a compulsion and will never give you a solution

5)don't seek reassurance from people in real and internet it acts as a compulsion and fuels ocd.

6)don't do any prayer or repeating some particular words or nos in your mind when obsessive thought comes it acts as a compulsion, stop it.

now behavior therapy or exposure therapy

1)make a list of all the obsessions and give them fear rating out of 100 like for hocd 80/100  
2)now make audio recording of every obsession

3)you have to collect material related to your obsessions like articles on hocd,gay porn etc.

4)basically you have to collect material related to your obsessions for exposure

i will suggest you to first practice cognitive therapy for 2 weeks atleast, and  when you get experienced enough of how to respond when obsessions strike you,then you can go for exposures

for exposures i will suggest you to a make a cycle like if you have 5 obsessions then make a 5 day cycle or for 7 obsessions a 7 day cycle

in this cycle one particular day for one obsession for 1 hour exposure, in this exposure you can do listening to audio recording for 30 minutes and for rest 30 minutes you can read articles and watch videos related to obsession
But you have to make sure you follow cognitive therapy also and don't do any compulsion for obsessions and don't feel guilty about them

After every day you have to write in copy the fear rating of  that obsession

next day is for next obsession
you have to complete your cycle of say  5 days. then cycle repeats

every day write in your diary after exposure the fear rating, you have to bring down the fear rating upto 10/100 or lower

[neverinpeace]

in order to have hocd did you need to have ocd before or can it just start with this? because I am having a hard time believing that hocd exists sometimes or is it made up or if I self diagnosed myself too quick, I mean I feel everything everybody else is saying but thats how it feels

[123tushar07]

ocd can exist before its theme shifts to hocd or it could start from hocd also, however every ocd sufferer do have tendency of repeating actions like washing hands,checking doorlocks/gas valves/switches.

Why don't you consult a psychiatrist? you can consult a psychologist also.

Remember ocd won't go on its own, it needs treatment, however you can do self help therapy by the book "Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts: How to Gain Control of Your OCD"  or you can do therapy from the points given in my last post.

[WPN]

Dude I feel your before 3 years ago I just had normal ocd like knocking thing twice,etc,now I suffer with every symptom of hocd and incest ocd and just a few days ago I was debating whether I'm gay or straight with my ocd,and all of a sudden I said "I rather be asexual than gay!"(No offense to gay people on this sight,but its just not me).all a sudden hocd like stops drastically.and I'm like what the hell....do I really wanna be asexual.I even thought about being asexual when my HOCD started but I couldn't stop being attracted to girls,and I also realised also you can't become gay,if you weren't born gay.In my opinion there's no such thing as Latent homosexuality.cause how can you be in the closet,if you realise you never had a closet.think about it like that.and its hard to cope with HOCD I mean the unwanted thoughts,images impulses and urges are very tramatizing for in the beginning.it affected my schoolwork in the 11th grade.you overcome most of it its mind over matter.

[WPN]

Dude I feel your before 3 years ago I just had normal ocd like knocking thing twice,etc,now I suffer with every symptom of hocd and incest ocd and just a few days ago I was debating whether I'm gay or straight with my ocd,and all of a sudden I said "I rather be asexual than gay!"(No offense to gay people on this sight,but its just not me).all a sudden hocd like stops drastically.and I'm like what the hell....do I really wanna be asexual.I even thought about being asexual when my HOCD started but I couldn't stop being attracted to girls,and I also realised also you can't become gay,if you weren't born gay.In my opinion there's no such thing as Latent homosexuality.cause how can you be in the closet,if you realise you never had a closet.think about it like that.and its hard to cope with HOCD I mean the unwanted thoughts,images impulses and urges are very tramatizing for in the beginning.it affected my schoolwork in the 11th grade.you overcome most of it its mind over matter.

[bringmejoy]

OCD has many forms and themes because anyone can obsess over anything. It's best not to focus too hard on what form of ocd you have and just call it an obsession. its just ocd. some people obsess over cleanliness, some over sexuality, different forms of the same thing - OCD. and you don't necessarily need to show signs of ocd before hand, i never really thought that i had ocd but then noticed instances in my past that related to slightly obsessional behaviour and needing to be 100% sure of things. everyone is different. try and buy the book if you can!