Need advice with HOCD? Help? :(

[idontknow501]

Hello, I'm new to this community and I just wanted to ask for some advice about HOCD. I just started experiencing this problem last month and it's causing me distress. I'm not attracted to the same sex and I know that but something in my mind keeps on telling me that I'm bisexual even if I know that I'm not. I'm really scared to be bisexual or lesbian one day. I don't even know why I encountered this problem since I didn't even doubted my sexuality before. I'm afraid to talk about it to my parents because I know it would be very weird since I'm the only one who experienced this disorder in my family. I admired my friend's sister before when I was younger and now that I'm older, I feel stupid for having a crush on her before. I probably just have find her really pretty and nice that time. She has a boyfriend (they're still together until now) and I really didn't mind, in fact, I'm super happy for them! I don't have any girl crushes now, nor I'm attracted to any girl. I have a lot of crushes and they're all boys. I love boys so much. Whenever I see a girl, it's like I need to ask myself if I'm attracted to her. My mind is playing tricks on me and it's really not good. Whenever I hang out with my girl friends, something in my mind would be like "You're bi" or "Are you attracted to her?" and it would ruin my mood once again. I always reassure myself that I'm straight and I know deep down that I am one but my thoughts are causing me worries. I tried giving up one time and just agreed that maybe I'm bi, but then I'd just shook it off and be like "How can I be bisexual if I'm not attracted to the same sex?". I don't want relationships nor do anything like kissing, etc. with girls, only with boys. I want to get married one day and have a family of my own, too. Am I the only one who has this problem? I want to know if anyone else experienced this problem and maybe could help me fight it.

I don't know what to do. I'm so shy and scared to talk about it to anyone I know in real life. Anyone please help me? Thank you in advance. :( xx

[idontknow501]

Hello, and I read some and I did get some good information. :-)

And yes, I'm slowly getting over this fear. I'll just ignore these intrusive thoughts like you said by the "whatever" attitude. Thanks, JGF25!

[JGF25]

Hi there...you have only to look through the forum to see that the majority of the posts are regarding HOCD.  So do take some time to look at the others and you will more than likely get good information from them.  

I just want to say that when you wrote the following

"I tried giving up one time and just agreed that maybe I'm bi, but then I'd just shook it off and be like "How can I be bisexual if I'm not attracted to the same sex?".

The above IS what you really should be doing.  It is what I call the "whatever" attitude.  So you say you are bi....nothing happens right...you don't want to run out and find a girlfriend.  So what you are basically doing is saying "whatever" and when you do this you take the fear out of the thought and it can no longer hurt you.