Why does it feel real, is it even Hocd!! (Questions) some one please help!

[Wookie101]

I have been having these thoughts for a while, but now the feel real! Is it normal for the thoughts to go and come because I start worrying on and off all day about it! I always tell my self in my head "I don't wanna date girls I don't wanna date girls" And I remember having crushes on guys even when I was a kid. I cant help but to think...." what if those crushes where not real" It gives me anxiety and it makes me wanna pull my hair out. Just the subject of being lesbian or bi gives me anxiety! And i don't think theres anything wrong with being with the LGBT. Some times i wear stuff and wonder if i look to much like a guy( even when i dress up a video game character!) A lot of times i feel like i am attracted to girls and sometimes feel like im not attracted guys. And my whole life i never even cared about other girls!  This is making me go crazy...