hocd or denial, please help me...

[kiory]

not so long ago i was not worried but it started when i heard my girlfriends talking about the fact that she would be afraid i would leave her for a guy and get gay, her did not do anything to me I heard that I am straight but when I heard the story of Freddie Mercury, the queen singer. the idea of ​​becoming gay appeared and made me sick to see filled with anxiety, I lost the pedal and felt depressive ... I could not afford to be in the same room as guys or to touch object that had the form of a male sex or gay singer music that I like ... I was always afraid to make love to my girlfriend lest it get me nothing ... but every time it was made me give me sensations! so I do not understand, why my head tells me that I love men while I know that deep down I never had attraction for them, and frankly I do not want to test .. So after a few moments I thought he should be seen, I'm what I am, I do not like men and it's ALL! I have respect for the LGBT community and do not discriminate against anyone, but my place is not dedant and then after a while it's better until 1 years later or at a party we were doing an acto truth and I took acton as just quickly lécger the foot in addition to giving a kisses on the stroke of a guy (with pentalon) because his me not not I am hetero, but later I'm in mode in trindle to do some truth with a friend when one starts gay questions and I prefer to drink every time instead of answering but not because I did not want to answer put just to drink and in the end when I wake up he me said that I am a gay repressed because I wanted to do the action but not answer the question of which I had nothing to do..I am someone with enormous sexual appetite and I love women but it is he told me me messed up because it refers to what I lived 1 years ago ... I feel stess, depressive and anxious ... I know that deep in me, and my heart I said, I'm not a gay or someone who repressed his feelings ... but it makes me  crazy just to think that I'm in deni and make me filled with anxiety and fear ... my thought wont stop saying that i am...

[specialmom]

How is this now? Hopefully this doesn't cause you too much stress.  I think self doubt, trying to figure outselves out is challenging. You are not alone. But if you are happy with your girlfriend, don't let that comment worry you so much.  What about talking this through with a counselor?  Safe place to vent feelings and work through them would be a good thing.

[specialmom]

outselves is ourselves . . . whew, bad typo! lol