Body rocking

[Pauledh]

Hi,

I wonder if anyone could help me figure out something... Up until about 4 years ago I would body-rock. Im now 34, from the age of I realy dont know when... since my memory started at the age of say 2 i would body rock. I'd lie on the floor and rock for between a few minutes up to 6 hours or more. I'd rock on the floor and day dream and it seems that the rocking motion would help me day dream and I'd end up in almost in a trance. It completly messed up my education... instead of studying I'd body rock and dream whenever possible.... I mean I was totaly addicted to it, it may seam strange but it got worse from childhood. Im my teens and twenties i spent most of my spare time doing this, once I got to the age to start listening to music I'd body rock with music playing, with the different type of music depending one what i wanded to dream about or vice versa. It could be for the whole weekend and I've lost so much my life doing this.... You would'nt believe. I don't believe I'm autistic... i dont seem to show any other signs... I have a good career now and live a happy life but I'd like to understand what happened to me for all those years.

I'm not entirely sure this is the right forum, maybe it should be mental health but if anyone could help me understand I would much appreciatre your thoughts! If not i will try the other forums. Thanks for your time

[BFAZ1]

Iv rocked ever since I could remember. I will be 38 in 2 weeks. I have a good career, family ( 2 kids) and 2 dogs. I rock everyday I get home from work because it helps me organize by importance and solve the many daily problems that drive from a family, career ect…. I feel like it could be a problem but I have enough of a handle on it so it’s not. Without it I’d probably be a drug attict or worse. So ROCK ON  I say!!!

[Asteele1988]

I noticed that this is an old thread and I don’t know if people are even still commenting on it, But I have done this my whole life and I don’t know what it is or why I do it but it’s really weird because for my family this is genetic. Passed down now through four living generations. Not everybody in my family, but my mom‘s mom does weird repetitive things with her body throughout her life like headbanged and kicked her legs at night before bed.
And her daughter, my aunt also head banged on her pillow repetitively at night and my mom kicks her legs at night and shakes them though out the day, well for some reason my brother and I both rock back-and-forth. Exactly like everybody is describing. To music. Sometimes without music without even realizing it.We have since we were old enough to move and rock. What’s even weirder is there is four of us kids to the same to parents and only two of the four of us rock. I never found this weird until I had my second kid. Right at about six months, he rocks. And at first I kind of thought it was cute but then I really thought about it and realized how much of an issue this has been in my life. It has literally taken over my life. I look at it like an obsession or an addiction. It consumes my day. I feel guilty because I should be doing things with my kids but I would prefer to rock. And it’s even crazier that there’s a group of people out here that have the same issue. It’s weird because I know it’s weird but I’ve also never realized it was weird. Like I’ll sit here and wonder what kind of damage I’m doing to my joints by rocking back-and-forth and wonder what the doctors would say about that.. what kind of long term damage from non stop rocking
But then I realize the doctors probably have never done any kind of study on this because this is so weird.

[Simply_Made]

I am in my 60's and have been a rocker all my life.  My two sibling sisters were rockers also. When we'd ride in a car we would all be rocking back & forth and the minute another car passed we'd stop instantly. We had no clue that the cars behind us could still see our strange activity. A relative following us mentioned that it looked as if we all three were jumping up and down from behind. My sister and I also hit our heads on a pillow until we fell asleep at times during our younger years. I asked a  phycologist-friend once if it was normal and she said I should be thankful we had a soothing method in dealing with stress. I often wonder if it started because our mother was an alcoholic. She lacked giving us the needed stimulation. I recall many times being left in a crib long after nap time was over as a toddler. Sadly I rocked way too many hours during my school days preventing me from excelling to my full potential, not to mention causing lack of sleep.  I believe I graduated from high school with about a 7th grade reading level. I could rock for hours at a time.  One can not read or study effectively while rocking, listening to music, & daydreaming. While raising my children I limited rocking to nighttime hours. It increased when my children went off to college until my husband got me a  Chihuahua puppy 13 yrs ago. He is such a lap dog and only allows me to rock while watching tv on the couch :) Years ago  I tried looking up to see if there was a private facebook group for those that rocked but couldn't find any. So nice to know that there are other rockers out there. Makes me feel more normal. ;)

[Mama_12345]

I found myself body rocking but only because I've had three kids b2b for the last six years and breastfed them all till 2yo. I find myself body rocking all the time and then I finally realize I dont even have them in my lap.. LOL..

[Rettia01]

Hi im 21 year old female and i still do it i got diagnose with panic disorder last year and i take citalopram 20 mg for that but i still do i had ct scan and brain scans and it came out healthy i try my best to stop sometimes

[pa10sion]

When my son was 2 months old, my husband and I heard a banging coming from his room. When we went in we, found him on his back (he couldn't roll over yet) lifting his tiny legs up as high as he could get them and slamming them back down on his bed. This continued every night until he was old enough to roll onto his stomach, at which point he started rocking and banging his head into his crib. The rocking/head banging continued through his teens. At around the age of 14 it became rocking and singing. My son is now 17 years old and continues to rock and sing in his room. He'll say to us "I'm going to sing" and off he goes for a good hour or 2. If he has nothing else to do, this is his routine for the day every few hours or so. Every other aspect of his life is pretty normal; He's in the top 25% of his class, he's active in sports, he's looking forward to going to college. It doesn't seem to be inhibiting him yet. However, my concern is that as he gets older and life becomes more complicated, he will look for other ways to sooth himself. I also wonder if there is some sort of medical issue that we should be addressing. The research suggests that this is not uncommon; however, I can't shake the feeling that I should be addressing this.

[Nickerbe23]

If you have had a trauma like I did. You may do this I was abandoned and left in an orphanage for the first 3 and a half years. Sense that I have rocked my self to sleep and during the day I am almost 20 and still do this.

[AllBahianGirl]

Dr.Eli Somer a therapist in Haufa,Israel coined this body rocking Maladaptive Daydreaming in 2002. Dr.Somer basically deals with childhood trauma and noticed this behavior in many of his patients though it's not to say that everybody who does this maladpative daydreaming had a traumatic or abusive childhood. I am 57 and have done this my whole life to music. I'll sit on the couch bouncing with my headphones and listen to music for hours on end. My doctor prescribed Gabapentin for me and it does the trick unless I use medical marijuana which is legal in California where I live. It's something about marijuana that overrides the Gabapentin and I'm back on the couch with my headphones plugged into my cellphone ricking and listen to music fantasing about being a very rock star and the center of attention. I also feel that at 57 there are a lot of doors closed to me now unlike with a younger person so I feel the only way I'm going to have a certain life is to bodyrock to music on the couch and then go into a trace and image my life differently. This forum has really opened my eyes and I'm glad to know I'm not the only maladaptive daydreamer out there. We usually don't know about each other because we like to do our body rocking in private. Of course I think the psychologist is going to have the best answers for you. We are not doctors!

[Hcarlyle]

So grateful I found this post. I am reading Elizabeth Vargas book about her anxiety and alcoholism and it made me think about my high anxiety and how I rocked away that anxiety for 21 years. Like some of the other posts, I did it usually to music sometimes for hours or entire days and usually fantasizing about being famous or the center of attention. I finally stopped the year I graduated from college and had to share an apartment. I was always so afraid of being discovered and so really ashamed of the bevavior. In hindsight I don't know how I kept at it so long and I cringe thinking of the time j wasted. Anyway I do take Celexa for anxiety. Thanks everyone for sharing. It is a huge relief even now (I am 55) to know I wasn't the only person doing this

[Harleyrychick]

I rock back and forth all the time. I think it could be anexiety, ADD or ADHD. Not sure why. I saw my cousin the other day and we were both doing it. Sometimes I don't realize that I am doing it until someone says something to me.

[Melzzzzzz]

I can't believe someone else does this too!! I've been doing it my whole life!! Mostly fantasizing about being someone else and living a whole different way!! While listening to music..it's a form of meditation for me.. And when someone sees you or talks about it it's embarrassing.. Thank you for this post!

[MaggieandHopey]

I'm amazed how many people are rockers! I thought it was my shameful habit until I read the essay "Plague of Tics" by David Sedaris in his book "Naked." I recommend it anyone with OCD who does or doesn't rock. Sedaris had  major OCD kick-in during grade school, accompanied by a habit of rocking/listening to music. I was so amazed to read this, because I thought I was the only person in the world who had done this! My OCD began around second grade (I am now 46) and I rocked since about age three. I would rock in the car to music, thoroughly enjoying myself! I didn't care if anyone saw me, I was a baby! Later, in grade school, I began listening to little transistor radio at night and I'd rock in bed and fall asleep that way. I kept rocking throughout adolescence, high school and into my 20's (in bed and sitting up). I have to say, as I got older, I felt ashamed and more bothered by this habit. It was really comforting to me, but I also felt (even then) I was wasting hours and hours day dreaming and matting one side of my hair! My rocking went from being something to help me fall asleep to something I did for hours in the middle of the day. My family was very messed up- alcoholic father, work addicted mother, troubled (drugs/alcohol) older brothers....

The reason I eventually stopped rocking was because it actually started to bother me physically in my late 20's- I got a kind of cramp or stitch in my side, and I worried that I was injuring myself! so eventually I just stopped doing it.

I feel that, especially during high school, rocking was a way of comforting myself and a kind of intense escapism. I would fantasize about being a rock star, beautiful, etc. I loved it when my parents would go out- I'd listen to entire records rocking on the couch with the lights out! The older I got, I worked at becoming healthier emotionally and the need to escape into fantasy became less necessary (like in the movie "Muriel's Wedding" when she says she doesn't have to listen to ABBA anymore because her life is as good as an ABBA song). In fact, fantasizing became boring.

My advice is to work at your inner life because you deserve to be happy! Someone posted that they fell in love and that cured their rocking; that's great, but I don't advise ever relying on anyone else for your well-being, it has to come from within. I still rock on my chair when I'm reading or looking at the computer! I also love the swing we have on the deck and rocking chairs because I still find
rocking soothing. I walk a lot- that is a great alternative and super healthy, too. I hope others will try doing the inner emotional work on their own or with a counselor before resorting to medication. I have no doubt that some people need meds if they have a very severe OCD and I don't question that, but I hope it is a last resort. As someone with generalized anxiety and OCD, I know it is a huge struggle, but the work to feel better will pay off. You owe it to yourself.

This book has really helped me, so I'm going to endorse it. I warn you, it is work to follow the advice, but it seems to help!

https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Obsessing-Overcome-Obsessions-Compulsions/dp/0553381172

[Pulcetta]

I'm 32 years old and i've body rocked since i was a child!!! I always been a kinda lonely kid.. During teenage years i was very depressed and anxious and i used to body rock for hours non stop.. I would listen to music on the couch and daydream of being a famous singer or a person everybody loved, it was like in a sort  of trance. After i finished school i started working so i didnt have much free time and kept body rocking  maybe one hour in the evening... At first it was a little strange because  it was still a soothing movement but i lost the 'trance' ability.. And also the daydreaming was less maladaptive, i started dreaming of more realistic scenarios... Now i body rock about half an hour in the evening. I m glad i found this post, thanks everybody for sharing!

[SDusk]

Wow. Im amazed of all the stories that sound exactly like my life. So thankful for all your honesty and bravery. Ever since I can remember I felt different. Whew, I got to just take it in. Thank you.

[Eaglerock]

Looking for fellow rocker to partner for life I am in my thirties

[AL0107]

I am amazed!!!! I have been rocking since an infant, on my hands and knees and now in the sitting position. I am 60 yrs old! I also can't seem to sit or stand still. I thought I was the only one and have been trying to figure out why I do it as I don't think I can stop. I also have broken many couches and chairs. I'm sick of it but it makes me feel better. Does anyone know what the diagnosis is and if there is a cure? Wasted a lot of time.

[AllBahianGirl]

Dr.Eli Somer coined the term "Maladaptive Daydreaming" as the name for this disorder. Dr.Somer is a therapist that deals with trauma and he noticed this behavior in a lot of his adult patients. Don't want to throw parents under the bus and accuse the maladaptive daydreaming as being the result of bad parenting or an abusive childhood.

[wendysparkles]

Whoah! So thankful to "Pauledh" for starting this thread back in 2009.

Like so many of you, I've been body rocking since I was a child. (I'm 47 now.)

I am so grateful to everyone who shared their stories and offered details that mirrored my own experience. I feel so much less ashamed.

I want to address the daydreaming part of body rocking: Years ago, I made a conscious decision to use the daydreaming time in a more productive way. One way is to solve problems. As an example, whenever I have a computer problem I can't figure out (some glitch that comes up that needs fixing), I'll leave my computer to body rock and use my imagination to figure out different, possible solutions. Also, every time I go on a trip involving an airplane, I body rock before I leave and see myself going through the whole process from leaving home to fastening the seat belt. Then I'm able to go through the actual experience with total ease.

I also envision upcoming conversations as well and go back over previous conversations.

Recently, I started writing fiction. I use my daydreams to envision the scenes I will write. And, just like with problem solving, if I get stuck, I always go to my couch, put headphones on, listen to music (often the same song over and over) and daydream until i figure it out. I think it's the soothing, the euphoria, and the daydreaming that makes it such a valuable tool for me.

Again, like so many of you, I experienced abuse, I was shamed for rocking, broke furniture, and keep it a secret. But after reading all these comments, I'm now seeing how it has saved, and enhanced, my life and I am so grateful for the ritual and have no desire to stop.

From my experience, as I got older, the practice would ebb and flow. I have gone months without doing it. I've also gone through phases where I did it so much I got a blood blister on my calf from sitting cross-legged for so long. (That only happened once.) I don't really question the pattern or the reasoning anymore.

I do often wonder if I'm strengthening my abs by rocking!

[Pasach]

Maybe even strengthening back muscles.  :)
I'm 50, ricked since I have had memories of rocking.  Broken springs in chairs...holes in walls from springs and Rock when I drive. I have not wrecked from it ever.   I also found ways to use it, and times in the last 10 years of it lessoning.   I remember when I was around 13 seeing another grown woman rock and I whispered a prayer to not be rocking at that age.   I have been mocked, and diagnosed, given so called reasons and suggestions on how to stop....The greatest help for me has been aging and acceptance of me as a person from my family.  I still rock,  but not entire days,  can go days without Rocking.  If in a car I cant drive without rocking,  and if I stop rocking while driving you better know something is up!''  lol.   I would problem solve while rocking, enact needed compassion or anger responses in my head.... Music is a high trigger to set off rocking.   The strange thing is....there are times now,  I think I want to go back to losing entire days rocking just for the strength I think it gave my back and ab muscles.   Creativity flowed easier, and lonliness and emotions were seemingly managed easier.  
I still rock but not to the extent of hours on end.  

Loved your post,   felt so similiar.  

[Inkdpaws]

Google Search "Maladaptive Daydreaming & Body Rocking"

I am also a maladaptive daydreamer and body rocker.

Good luck rockers.

[inbloom1]

Body rocking has taken over my entire life.I have zero friends,zero interests and the only thing that makes me happy is body rocking as much as i possibly can.This means at least 12 hours/day.I took Gabapentin as i've read it can help me to drop the habit but it isn't working on me.Took 600mg/day but i body rock just as much.I'm 32 and i body rock since forever.I just want to decrease the amount of time i spend on this,not to cut it off completely,but i just can't(i crave it every day)...any help would be more than appreciated.

[MaggieandHopey]

Hey Inbloom, I assume if you are taking meds you are also seeing a doctor. I would recommend getting more to the root of the problem. Pretty much everyone here talks about the rocking being caused by depression, OCD, PTSD....You will need to address these inner issues to feel better and cut back on the rocking. When I was a teen I would rock hours a day and daydream: little by little I got better and stopped rocking and daydreaming. I did it and so can you, but it won't happen over night (as the idea of taking a medication suggests) and it's hard work that takes bravery. I can see you want to get better by the fact that you looked this up and posted. I had to see counselors, do a lot of inner emotional work and it was difficult and often painful (but it is a good, healing pain- not the hopeless pain of despair). You can get better!

[AllBahianGirl]

Inroot I take 600 mg of Gabapentin daily and it works like a charm for me unless I vape or eat marijuana edibles. It seems like the marijuana overrides the Gabapentin and I'm back on that couch with my headphones plugged into my ipod rocking while fantasizing and listening to music. My personal life is in a slump so I'm fantasizing about being in a relationship with a member of a 70's funk group. I fantasize about this man as he was a knockout in his 20's not as the indescript older man he is now. I wonder if other maladaptive daydreamers create fantasy relationships when they have zero relationships or prospects in the real world.

[Dhi11]

Hi Sophia,

Were you able to beat the addiction? I'm in a similar position -- I just turned 26, and I realized that body-rocking has taken up too much time in my life.  It is very much like an addiction for me as well, or rather, an unhealthy coping mechanism (I crave it when I'm bored, stressed, or want to escape from reality, all of which occur often).  It has wreaked havoc on my real relationships and life goals because it usually satisfies any need for human interaction (even though it is all in my head) and eats away at my hours.  

I'm not sure how to stop, because it's such a big part of my life.

Any advice/help would be appreciated!

~Dhi

[Sophia_83]

Hi Dhi,

I apologize for the delay response.
I was actually able to abstain from body-rocking for about 1.5 year, without any prescription. Personally I am against any medicine.  

The first time I tried to stop was really difficult and I only managed to abstain for 5 days.

The second time (1.5 year of abstinence) what I did is that every time I had the need to do it I substitute it with something that provided similar soothing effects to me. So I started watching Gilmore Girls which is one of my favorite shows and then when I had “cravings” I would try to go for a walk, call a friend, journal about it. It was really helpful to build a supportive network.

Though I struggled at the beginning, those 18 months were great. I felt the energy in my body, had time to take care of myself and my basic needs, see friends etc.

Then I realized that what I had done was that I substituted body-rocking with workholism, so when my computer crushed at home, gradually I returned to it.
Today is not that bad but it’s still here.
After a personal research I realized that my body-rocking had to do a lot with the fact that I was neglected a lot as a baby/toddler/child/teenager and I had to find I way to soothe all the disturbing feelings I lived through my childhood.
What I am doing at the moment is that I joined the 12-step program “Adult children of Alcoholic/ Dysfunctional families” (http://www.adultchildren.org/member-PhysicalandTraumaRecovery)
and I am pretty sure that as I let my inner child grieve her lost childhood, feel my feelings and start loving myself, body-rocking will go away. I don’t want to deny or stuff my feelings anymore neither do I want to dissociate through body-rocking and day-dreaming.

I am also thinking about starting EMDR therapy to address my PTSD.

You are not alone!
Sophia

[Joshuabenjoseph]

Hello,my friend,have only just found this thread after a whole lifetime of being afflicted by this thing.I am much older than you and would implore you to try to be strong enough to stop this thing.I know how hard it is,i learned the hard way.Good luck,josh

[Joshuabenjoseph]

I don't believe it is JUST caused by stress.It is highly physically addictive,i assure you.

[Trulyfe]

I have been doing this for years. I always have had a normal life but when I get in a room by myself I love to put in my headphones get into bed with my music and just rock back and forth. Sometimes I get so into it I close my eyes and rock as if I'm in a trance. My mom just caught me doing this but every blue moon they will walk in on me while I'm doing this, and all I can do is stare at them stupidily extremely mortified and embarrassed that I was caught. My mom doesn't understand it, she thinks I'm so immature and retarded because of it. She looks at me and shakes her head or just ***** her teeth at me with a frustrated look on her face. And it always makes me feel so bad and embarrassed.I hate she makes me feel this way but she just doesn't understand it or why I do it...Noone does. They all think I'm just slow or something.

[inbloom1]

just hide it.i remember when my mom and brother looked at me like i am retarded,even though my brother does it as well.i just hide it from everyone.

[Trishagirl23]

What causes body rocking? I have a roommate that does this nonstop. And also watches animae and talk to herself.

[AntsyFanny]

I'm 50 years old and have always been one who fidgets. Mom was always telling me to sit still in church, etc. My friend growing up had these kitchen chairs that swiveled and I would constantly spin from side to side. I never thought it was more than just being an antsy kid, but a friend once told me to stop it when I didn't know I was sort of twisting from side to side gently in my chair - she said people might think I was mentally ill. I was about 35 at the time.I laugh about that now. We are all "abnormal" in some respects. Tonight I was feeling anxious and began to rock forward and back and it felt soothing and for the first time I decided to google this behavior. So there are lots of us! I find caffeine can make me more prone to want to rock, which is kind of expected. I'm comfortable in my skin, more so now than I was in my 20s and 30s, so I don't mind it. I also often bounce my leg or foot a lot, twirl my pen, crack my knuckles, bite my lip - a bunch of these sort of stimming behaviors. I agree with others who say it's better than drugs, alcohol, or really harmful habits. I exercise, which helps drain some of the nervous energy and that has really helpful too. So no advice for others other than to enjoy the rocking if you can, and if you can't, then visit a doctor for alternatives.  

[Akashi11]

Hi, I'm 19 years old and I body rock all the time.....
At first I thought it was something that everyone does. It has gotten in the way of somethings. I'll be sitting on my bed and all of the sudden I'll think of something that I need to daydream about and I'll have to start rocking. It's like I go to another world whenever I body rock. I was thinking about mentioning it to a doctor. But I don't know how they could help handle it. So far I have broken 2 toilet seats and my own bed. It kind of freaks me out if I were to be honest.

[Alzacher]

I have the same exact thing I don't body rock when I am in a deep sleep but I do know that if you are out for a while every day and not I your bed it helps a little and I don't do it as much anymore cause of being out in public so much

[ShoneOceanGirl]

Perhaps the physical action of rocking produces some feelgood hormone in the brain, which becomes addictive over time.  I strongly believe that rocking is more common than you think.  I used to think there was something wrong with me, but the dream state felt so good I was hooked. I am 58 and have not done it since I was about 42, the compulsion can diminish for some people. Many, many people self soothe by rocking.